You're Not Special

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You are not special.

But you are the ONLY you. 

Stay humble.

But CLAIM your worth, every moment. 

Not taking “no” for an answer.. isn’t the secret to success.

Working hard is necessary, but there are plenty of people who work much harder than you or me and make much, much less money.

How do you explain that? 

If we keep telling the same old tired “secrets to success” stories of how we worked harder than everyone else, we didn’t take “no” for an answer, or we stayed expertly focused, when other people were all over the place.. we’re perpetuating the narrative of “the harder you work; the more you deserve.”

Or “the more rejection you take, the more you deserve praise.”

Or ultimately, what I call the pain equals pleasure principle.

The more shit you take, the more enjoyment you deserve. 

I call major BS.

If this is the way we live… when do we get to ENJOY our lives? 

After we retire and we’ve forgotten how to relax and finally have free time but feel like we have no “purpose”?

After we’ve made millions of dollars and have severe adrenal fatigue, so we feel depressed and exhausted?

What about the people that work hard all their lives and have nothing to show for it? Do they just have to keep working hard forever?

This is not the world I choose to add to or live in.

In my world, ease gets me farther than struggle.

In my world, grace is more effective than mindless hustle.

In my world, wholesome, true enjoyment is always the main goal. 

In my world, enjoying the process is much more important than the destination.

We can do hard things, but not for the end goal.. we do the hard things because that is how we grow and it is what is required of us.

It is subtle and paradoxical because there is absolutely “hard work” involved in changing an entire paradigm and creating a life you love hard things and all… it is a commitment to choosing placing value in a different place. 

It requires discipline, no doubt, to shift your mindset and value your alignment with YOUR OWN truth over what society tells you.

But, our souls want badly to do our “work” and learn the lessons they came here to learn.

But the pain equals pleasure principle we all tend to operate under, doesn’t serve us in this purpose. It makes everything harder and keeps us slaves to our egos. 

Believing that pain equals pleasure, makes us feel that we don’t deserve the goodness and ease of our aligned work.

True humility is the realization that conventionally validated success or any success for that matter has nothing to do with us and us “making” it, but it is the universe doing all things through us.
We are simply an instrument.

This is bad news for the ego; but one of the most liberating and relieving truths for the soul.

You are not not responsible for anything except staying aligned with your own goodness and focusing on brining your soul-given purpose to each small task you are offered.

When you get out of your own way, and give up the idea that you could ever “make” anything happen, and start instead letting the universe create through you; miracles happen.

So stay humble and stop telling yourself you’ve got to work so damn hard.

Every single person on this earth is an instrument of God.

No one person is better than or more deserving of happiness than the other. And the amount you work is definitely not proportionate to how many blessings you get.

We are all equally blessed.

The moment you start to realize you’re not in control here, not only will things get insanely easier, you’ll also have a ton more fun.

So get out of your head and back into your LIFE. 

I’m with you. 

Follow the Urge

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As I’m writing this I am sitting by a stream in a camping area about an hour from my rural Montana home. No phone service. No internet. No sounds but the wind through the trees, a few birds chatting back and forth, and the stream rushing by.

I have come to crave this solitude; this feeling of nowhere to be and nothing to do. This feeling of total detachment from the buzz and hmmm of the electric world. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a “go-getter.” I’m ambitious and direct. I know what I want. Clarity has never been something I struggled to find. I’m a black and white thinker. I know what’s right and wrong. Most of my adult life so far as revolved around traveling the world or working to travel or working while traveling. 

Yet.. all of the sudden I feel the need to STOP. Be still. Just be. To be completely honest, it’s foreign. Sure, I love meditation. I truly believe that if all people took more time to contemplate and watch our thoughts, the world would be a much happier and healthier place. 

But this desire for stillness, is more than just a routine morning quiet time. It’s like a part of me that was always there, but in the shadows has come out into the light and is all the sudden driving and all the other parts of me are getting motion sickness. The constant movement to stillness. The raw ambition to the relative apathy. The pure clarity to the grey area. This new driving force of stillness is making me feel like I don’t quite know myself.

None of this is bad. It’s a form of growth. I can tell, a deeper awakening to myself and my power is imminent. My body and higher self are calling on me to SLOW DOWN. 

Listen. 

Take rest. 

“You’ll need your energy for what’s to come.”

A time of potential building and ripening. 

So all this is to say.. if you feel the urge to slow down too, follow it. If you feel a little “stuck” “lost” or “uninspired”, there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s part of our cyclical nature. We will always come back to the action. We will always come back to the desire to do. We contract and we expand. We have periods in our lives (sometimes very long periods) of creation and manifesting and periods of recuperating and stillness. 

We all live and we all die. 

The circle or the wave of life.

The struggle against this inevitable waning of life is what makes this aspect of life miserable.

When you go into a period of stillness, and instead of letting it offer you its insight, you fight and rally against it, you deny it and try to keep pushing, is when you elongate that period or make it more painful than it has to be. 

When you build the story of “failure” or “lazy” around a simple need for stillness, you rob yourself of the lessons it’s trying to teach you and elongate the whole process. 

 

If I have learned anything from my relatively short, but very full life it’s that the more we’re able to listen to our internal urges, those little nagging feelings, the “pings” of intuition, the more we’re following the path of least resistance. The path that will easily and fully lead us to where we need to go, what we need to learn, and who we need to be.

Sometimes those nagging feelings aren’t easy to follow. I can tell you firsthand, that my ego DOES NOT WANT to slow down. It wants to go. It wants to accomplish. It wants to MAKE IT HAPPEN. It wants to check the things off the list. It wants to get recognition and praise. So for me to follow this urge to come out to this place in nature with all distractions and connections severed, took a lot of higher-self-worth and trust. It’s a muscle you build over time and with practice. 

You start listening to the little nudges first. You take a different road on your drive home from work because you get the urge. You call that friend that keeps popping into your mind. You sit at the base of the tree in the park because it keeps grabbing your attention.

Then the smaller things turn into bigger things. You get the clear urge to go to Italy, so you plan a trip there. You get the clear urge to talk to your partner about that thing you’ve been hiding from him or her.

This is the way to start to tap into this path of living our lives in the path of the least resistance.  A flip to following “my will” to “the higher will.” The greater good. The higher purpose. Getting our directions from the thing that makes our hearts beat and tells the flowers when to open. The great mystery. 

Mystery doesn’t give you a play by play. A step by step process. It gives you an urge. It gives you a ping. It gives you a nagging feeling.

Go ahead, play the mystery game.

I’m with you. 

 

 

 

A Note on Worthiness

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We believe that we'll take care of ourselves once we hit that goal.

We believe that we'll feel relaxed around food if only we could get to our "goal weight."

We believe that if we had more money or time we would most certainly get massages and buy that yoga studio membership.

We believe that we would definitely meditate, journal, and breathe deeper if only we had a couple more hours in the day.

But the truth is... these things will never be a priority unless they're a priority NOW. 


And a lot of times the reason we have these "if only this, THEN I would be better.." thoughts is because we believe that somehow we're not worthy of the things we want NOW. 

We believe that if we EARN our right to relax, then we will finally relax.

We believe that if we do something to DESERVE the self care, then we'll take care of ourselves. 

We keep ourselves on the hamster wheel of doing.

Always working towards the next thing. 

Because... what would we be if just.... stopped. 

We would be OURSELVES, just as we are.. and unfortunately, most of us have decided through past experiences and programming that we are not good enough as we are.

Somewhere in the shadowy depths of our psyche there is this voice that says, "You're not worthy or eating in a relaxed way, until you're 20 lbs lighter," 

or

 "You don't deserve to spend money on a massage since you don't make as much money as your husband."

or

"How could I possibly take a day to myself when I am mother of young children that need me!?" 

or

"I can't take time to meditate and connect to myself, then I might actually 'see' what's going on in my mind!"

So the problem is; when we make our self care or worthiness contingent upon other actions or external sources, we will never get THERE. 

That's not the way this way of thinking works.

It's insatiable.

We've gotta get to the root of it all: the perceived unworthiness.

We've gotta believe we are worthy of all we want before we give ourselves all we want.

We've gotta believe we're worthy of a massage, a day of blissful free time to ourselves, or a new sweater, for no reason other than we want it.

We've gotta believe that even if we watch hours of TV we're still worthy of feeling good. 

We've gotta believe that even if we just ate a whole pizza we're worthy of being loved.

We'll never do enough to earn the right to relax. We may try, but we'll just play over and over in our head all the things we should have done or still need to do.

We've gotta just relax when we need it.

We'll never "catch up" up enough to slow down, if we're constantly playing into the story that we're behind. 

We've gotta just stop when we need to.

We'll never make enough money to deserve to spend it freely on ourselves if we believe we aren't worth what we want right now.

We've gotta invest in ourselves and our future and trust ourselves enough to believe we'll make the correct choices.

Because, Worthiness is not given or earned; it is CLAIMED.

If you're ready to address the seed of your perceived unworthiness book a 30 min self love clarity call with me here. 

 

 

How to Take Care of Your Vagina

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The title of this blog post has me a little nervous of what people will think of me…. just kidding. ; ) 

As women we have, in general, become very disconnected from our vaginas.

In my ever-expanding experience, and consequentially, my world view the physical is ALWAYS, always connected to the emotional, the spiritual and the mental. In a society that tends to restrict acceptable “femininity” to a small and confusing box, it’s no wonder that the physical representation of female power, feminine anatomy, is also experiencing a lot of restriction, shame, pain, and ultimately lack of true care.

My sisters! Our vaginas and womb-spaces are sources of deep, deep power. They are the source of literally all human life! They are the source of our deepest physical pleasure. This is why connecting to and living in tune with our monthly cycles is so healing. 

Our womanly power sources deserve better care, and I ain’t talking about Brazilian bikini waxes or labia reduction surgeries (which, by the way, is the fastest growing type of cosmetic surgery..WTF??). Brazilian waxes and labiaplasty are externally focused on ideas of what is “attractive” or “desirable” and have nothing to do with how we feel about our own bodies; when we’re alone. I’m talking about ancient methods of balancing our hormones, bringing non-judgmental love, attention and focus to this place in our bodies that holds so much intuitive power.

This area of our body is also the home of the root chakra, the energy center that deals with a sense of belonging and safety in the world. When it’s out of balance we can feel anxious, worrisome, unsafe, develop constipation, back pain, or eating disorders. 

To tap into the unbridled feminine power we’ve got to get super comfortable with and take really good care of our vaginas. 

I’ve got a lot to say about this subject, but to ease everyone into this I’ve decided to go over two practices that can help us care for our vagina and womb-space. 

  1. Vagina Steaming

Vaginal (aka yoni, the sanskrit word for vagina) steaming is an ancient practice that has been used for millennia in the eastern world. It is a practice in which a woman allows the warmth of herbal steam to permeate the exterior of her vagina. Respected by healers around the globe, vaginal steaming is an opportunity to reconnect with your body and utilize the wisdom of plant medicine to heal your cycle.

Vaginal steams have been found by women throughout history to:

  • Significantly reduce pain, bloating and exhaustion associated with menstruation.
  • Decrease menstrual flow as well as reduce dark purple or brown blood at the onset or end of menses.
  • Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles.
  • Increase fertility
  • Speed healing and tone the reproductive system after birth.
  • Reduce uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, uterine weakness, uterine prolapse & endometriosis.
  • Assist with the repair of a vaginal tear, episiotomy, or C-section scar.
  • Assist with the healing of hemorrhoids.
  • Relieve chronic vaginal/yeast infections, and works to maintain healthy odor.
  • Ease symptoms of menopause including dryness or pain during intercourse.
  • Detoxify the womb and remove toxins from the body.
  • Release stored emotions and tap into the energy that is our creative potential.

To give yourself a vaginal steam fill a large vase (you want about 2 quarts to 1 gallon of water) with almost boiling water, put about a cup dried balancing herbs (I like these ones but also check out these herbs that are considered good for vaginal steaming).

Place the vase in a clean toilet, remove all pants and underwear (or wear a skirt with no undies) so that you can place your vagina over the steam.

Then wrap your lower half in a blanket and enjoy the steam.

You want to sit for at least 20 minutes, closer to 40 minutes is ideal. Use this time to meditate, listen to music, or journal. Try not to read or get on your phone. Use this time to connect to your womb-space and secrets it has to tell you. 

 

2. Vaginal Egg Wearing 

A vaginal egg, jade egg, yoni egg or love egg – are names for a beautiful semiprecious stone carved into an egg shape and polished to be worn inside the vagina.

Female practice that involves using stone eggs is estimated to be 5000 years old. Eggs carved out of jade were used by empresses and concubines of the royal palace in China to access sexual power, awaken sensuality and maintain amazing health into their old age. For a very long time this secret practice was only available to members of the royal family, and up until recently – to select Taoist practitioners.

Vaginal egg wearing is known to have the following effects..

  • Increase libido and awaken your sensuality.
  • Increase natural lubrication – even after menopause.
  • Can help harmonize hormones.
  • Develop an intimate and loving relationship with your vagina, your entire body, and ultimately yourself.
  • Strengthen and tighten vaginal wall and increase sensitivity during intercourse.
  • Help to have easier orgasms
  • Assist in strengthening uterine muscles to prepare for childbirth and speed up recovery time after birth.
  • Strengthen pelvic floor to cure incontinence and prevent prolapse in the future.
  • Gain Control over the vaginal muscles.
  • Reduced PMS symptoms, menstrual cramps and the duration of the menses.

To learn more about vaginal egg wearing or get your own vaginal egg check out this website

 

What do you think? Are you up for trying this? Send me a line and let me know! 

 

 

You Are the Master of Your Mind

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“The mind was made to bless.” - A Course in Miracles.



I got a message from an audience member of mine talking about her struggle with disordered eating.

She asked me why her mind was so irrational. Why when she knew she should stop restricting, she just couldn’t get the self-negating thoughts about her looks & how much/what she was eating, to go away.

She asked, "How come my mind is so irrational? When will these thoughts stop?"

The not so sexy answer is.. the thoughts won’t stop, but you are SO much more than your thoughts. And as you put your thoughts/feelings back in their place (in the backseat, not the driver’s seat)...they start to matter less & less.

The goal can never be to get the thoughts to go away or stop, the goal always have to be disengaging from the thoughts & identifying with the part of you that is soo much more. That space in your heart that is full of mystery & expansion & knowing.

Your mind/thoughts/feelings can be your servants. Not your master. Identifying with & remembering the master in you is the work.. as you do that the thoughts relax & go where they should, toward blessing the world around you.

Our minds were not made to be constantly coming up with the worst case scenario. But unfortunately most of us have put them in charge of our lives & that is WAY out of our mind’s job description, so that’s how it copes.

The worry & the fear. The mental anguish. The irrational thoughts. Guard constantly up. Always looking for the next blow.

Let it go. 
Let the part of you that knows come forward & lead. Those pesky little thoughts will go from your worst enemy to your best friend when released from their unwarranted responsibility of keeping you safe.

As we decide to stop identifying with our mind/thoughts/feelings we discover the master quietly waiting in the background, in the stillness of our own hearts.

Let go.
Get quiet.
Spend time with yourself.
I’m with you.

9 Steps to Get Yourself Out of a Funk

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Here is an instructional post for you and me about how to pull yourself out of a funk. (this is for me to refer back to as well).

1. Decide to change your state. Notice that you are in a low vibe, frustrated, sad or angry state, then take your power back and decide to move into action to change your state. You can’t get to feeling good by doing more of something that is making you frustrated.

2. Drink at least 20 ounces of warmish water. Add one drop grapefruit essential oil (ONLY with doTERRA essential oils, you CANNOT ingest other oils) to give you that oomph of metabolism boost.

3. Roll some Rose Touch oil under your eyes and over your heart. Add a little peppermint oil behind your ears. BOOM!

4. Draw about 10 circles of cheer blend in the palm of your hand and run it through your hair. Breathe this juice in too - your brain will know what to do.

5. Get outside and get your barefoot on the ground. Find some plants to “talk” with and let them know how glad you are they are there.

6. Call a friend or your mom.

7. Help a friend or acquaintance with something they are feeling stuck in. Or simply do something nice for someone else. It is scientifically proven that helping people makes us feel better.

8. Send a few notes of gratitude to people who you haven’t talked to in awhile. Comment something nice and heartfelt on a friend’s post on social media.

9. Journal about what you are most excited about doing in the next couple months. Use some grapefruit + rosemary oil in the diffuser to help with a loving transition. Journal prompt: How can what I’m struggling with be made easy? What are some creative ways I can get what I need to get done in a way that is fun and feels good.

These 9 steps are guaranteed to get you in a better mood in no time.💪🏼



Wanna get on the dōTERRA oils train to get out of your funky mindset & be more productive?

Learn more: https://www.clarawisner.com/essentialoils/
Get Oils: https://www.clarawisner.com/purchase-doterra
Join my team: https://www.clarawisner.com/join-team-revolutionary-lifesty…

 
 

Do You Celebrate Yourself?

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This past week I reached a personal business goal of mine that I have been putting a lot energy & intention towards for a very long time.

A lot of working on weekends, taking trips away from my family, not taking part in social events, later work nights, longer days, sacrificing the pleasure of now for the pleasure of the long term.. all culminating this month.

There is something so incredibly satisfying about setting a goal and accomplishing it.

The intention is set. The decision is made. The challenge is accepted. The work begins. Energy is channeled toward the desired outcome.

Sometimes a goal comes more easily than we expected. 

Most the time we take a few wrong turns on the way. We might go backwards for a bit. We might lose track of the end goal in the details of getting there. A lot of times we are required to readjust the goal in one way or another. Change our expectations. Make exceptions. 

But if we continue to keep moving forward and train our mind to latch on to only love, we will always, eventually, make it to where we are supposed to, in perfect time.

After we reach the goal, we feel accomplished, maybe even overjoyed.

It’s in that space that I am now.

In the past I would (and I think a lot of people tend to do this as well) immediately move on to the next “bigger” and “better” goal. Or find the reasons why the goal I reached wasn’t really such an accomplishment, and play it down. I would rain on my own parade by immediately demanding more from myself. Comparing myself to others who had reached more “impressive” goals; downplaying all the joy.

But now, I choose to stop in the midst of this celebration of myself.

I choose to really revel in the fulfillment.

I choose to congratulate and love on the people who ran with me and made it possible (I would never pretend that I reach my goals on my own). 

I choose to see myself and my people; victorious.

To be still and create space around the feeling of jubilant satisfaction of truly creating something meaningful, and get really, really familiar with this feeling. Because I plan on having a lot more of it.

Part of the reason people can get so downtrodden, ambivalent, and lukewarm when it comes to the goals they set for themselves is that they have never actually let themselves FEEL how good it feels to create. They don't celebrate themselves.

That is one of the MOST motivating feelings ever.

Brene Brown says that joy is the most vulnerable of emotions. And it IS! If you really let yourself be truly joyful, the threat of you getting blindsided is greater. The part of ourselves that is protecting us from judgement, pain, and disconnection might feel that joy is actually something that needs to be tempered.

So we end up hedging our joy with an edge of down play. We temper our sunny celebration with a hint of grey skepticism. It makes a weird kind of sense. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So, today I choose to really & deeply experience this win of mine.

I choose to celebrate.

I choose to remember what it feels like to feel really, really satisfied.

Are you with me?

 

 

Can You Be Trusted with More?

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We talk a lot about what we wish we had. We tend to talk a lot about how “nice” it must be to have more money, a new car, a dream home, hired help, fancy vacations, great relationships and friends, and on and on. We tend to talk a lot with people and in our own heads about how things would be different if we just had a partner, or more money, or a different body. 

We don’t, however, spend a lot of time considering if we could actually handle what we say we wish we had.

Can you be trusted with more money, deeper relationships, more influence or power, a more fancy job, a nicer/bigger house, more happiness?

What if you were given everything you say you want tomorrow.. without going through the process of creating it.. would you keep it for very long?

There is a much quoted fact about lottery winners...in most cases in a few short years the winners end up in the exact same financial situation they were in before they won lottery.

Every time we “level up” in life, it comes with a whole new host of challenges, requirements, and responsibilities. Can you handle those? 


The truth is: you can have whatever you want. You have the means to decide to go after pretty much any goal you can think up. This world has so many opportunities for you..it’s figuratively dripping with them. You’re not any different or less capable than Beyonce or Bill Gates. They’re human too. They have just the same amount of hours in the day that you or I do.


The problem is it’s really easy to think about what we want and feel like a victim because we don’t have it and focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have. It’s the norm. It’s the everyday vibe permeating most of our society. It’s really easy to say, “I wish I was a millionaire with the happy marriage and rocking health.” But it’s a lot harder to actually do the things that would lead to having those things. So we just decide it’s not for us, and keep pining over someone else’s life. 



So my message to you today is this: next time you find yourself wishing you had something else, ask yourself, “Could I be trusted with it?” There is no secret sauce, no different kind of person. We’re all just people. Some people have just decided to focus on what they do have control over and slowly, over time using those things to leverage themselves into whole different realities. 


If you want deeper, more fulfilling relationships, are you committed to staying open and vulnerable, even when it’s super uncomfortable? Are you committed to being honest, but kind with the people around you so that you feel fully understood, but also respect your partner’s or friend’s or family’s feelings? Are you wiling to take time away from what you want to do, to spend time doing what other people want to do. Are you willing to be available to your partner or friend or family member? Having deep, full and mature relationships requires that we become more deep and mature ourselves and that typically requires discomfort, doing things our ego would rather not do, and showing up over and over again.


If you want to be healthier are you able to decide to go to bed at a reasonable hour, skip social engagements, and make more time for yourself? Are you committed to speaking love to yourself and giving yourself compassion when you fall into old habits (news flash: self-berating doesn’t work!)? Are you willing to take advice from others who have done what you want to do as far as health? Are you willing to change your lifestyle? To be healthy and vibrant we need to have a lifestyle that supports vibrancy.


If you want more money, are you willing to gain financial literacy, make sound investments, and actually look at your bank accounts, credit cards, and loans? Are you willing to take risks financially and invest in your future? An issue I see with most people when it comes to money making is that they are too scared to put in the initial financial risk to get the return. Money wants to be in flow, it doesn’t want to stagnate or pool. To make a lot of money, you’re going to have to take substantial risks and get WAY more comfortable and literate in finances. 

There is never any “destination” in life. There will ALWAYS be challenges and hardships and growth required, no matter what you have. That’s the beautiful nature of being a human. As you gain more of the things you want, you will be required to change and shift. 

So the question isn’t whether or not you’re “lucky” enough to have the things you want. It’s "Are you actually willing to make those changes and shifts that would make the kind of life you say you want possible?"

It’s actually COMPLETELY OK if you are not willing. Maybe there is something you’ve been saying you wanted forever and you realize that you’re actually not willing to do what it might take to get it. 

That’s good. Now you know. You can take that space in your brain back and fill it with something you are willing and excited about doing.

Deciding we are willing or deciding we are unwilling to do things both give us power. Knowing where we stand gives us the solid base for jumping off and changing our life. Maybe for years you’ve been wrestling with the idea that you should work out every day to be healthy. But when you really sit down and examine it, you realize, you actually aren’t willing to do that. You’ve got too many other things going on. You do realize that you are willing to workout three times a week, however, or just on the weekends. This is SO much more productive mental health-wise and physical health-wise to know that’s what you’re willing to do. Then you do it and you save yourself all the grief of worrying about not working out every day. 


We get to decide what we’re willing to do and what we’re not. It’s not about getting all the things, it’s about remembering we get the choice to decide what we’re willing or unwilling to do. And move on from there. 

I’m with you. 

You Need A Stay-Cation

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Who here feels like they need a vacation? 

We are a seriously crazy society of go go go. 

The amount of stress we are under on a normal every day basis is something our biology has never seen before. Even if you don’t believe you have a particularly stressful job or don’t feel particularly overwhelmed there are a lot of stressors we are subjected to on a regular basis.h

Blue light from screens has been shown to be very stressful on our nervous systems. Activating them and not allowing our hormonal system to calm down at night. Making it hard to sleep and really get into a rest and relaxation state, in which our bodies does so much repairing and recuperating.

Toxic chemicals from cleaners, cars, make-up, shampoo, lotion, etc are constantly being added to our blood stream. Loud noises like airplanes, cars, ambulances, music has been shown to put our nervous systems on high alert. This creates difficulties producing sex hormones and getting into the rest and digest nervous system state. Driving in traffic. Driving at all. High intensity exercise and lots of sitting, a combination that can be very shocking to the body. Hyper connectivity and always being “plugged in” via the internet.  Alcohol. Fast food. Lack of gentle, consistent movement to move our fluids and lymph throughout the body. The pressure to look good, have lots of energy, get shit done, crush it.. that never seems to subside. All these inputs in our society are definitely adding to our almost subconscious stress levels. 

I could go on and on. But the point is that we are under extreme amounts of stress, some perceived, but a lot unperceived. Our human bodies, which have shallow adaptations to survive in this situation, but have not deeply evolved to be able to thrive in it, are struggling. The amount of “adrenal fatigue” or more accurately called ‘HPA axis dysregulation’ is alarming. Not to mention hormone imbalances, sleeping issues, depression, anxiety, and much more.

Most of us think that everyone but us is somehow making this situation of a high stress environment work for them, but the truth is.. most people actually are not living lives of full vitality. Most adults in the US are in adrenal fatigue at some level. It is rare to find an adult in the US that doesn't have an addiction to their smartphones, social media, and news. Most adults in the US are definitely struggling with the status quo of high stress and have issues relaxing and disconnecting.

A vacation would be great. A real, true getaway. Going to some far off beach somewhere with zero internet or phone access and totally and completely unplug. But..the truth is, most of us couldn’t afford it, or we couldn't get the time off work, or if we didn’t stay at least two weeks we wouldn’t actually be able to relax. We’d be thinking about work and all that would need to get done once we got back. Or we have the kids and it’s not a real hands-off vacation but a mess of dolphin swimming, packed recreation excursions all topped off with heavy drinking and gambling at night. You definitely don't feel rested and relaxed after a "vacation" like that. 

We also need to disconnect from our day to day busy lives more often than once or twice a year. Relaxation is actually a practice, so we need to do it consistently or we forget how to do it. We NEED time away and unplugged if we have any hope of living a life that is fulfilled, vital, and intentional. We need to reconnect on a regular basis to ourselves and really relax and unhook. 

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That’s why I’m committed to taking a stay-cation at least once per month. The perks of a stay-cation are: 

  • cheaper
  • less travel time
  • less planning 
  • get to know your own backyard a little better 
  • a lot more I’m probably not thinking of right now.. 

My simple parameters for a stay-cation are:

  • Spend at least 2 days and one night somewhere no farther than 50 miles from home. You can also just stay home.
  • Turn your phone on airplane mode
  • Turn your wireless router off or don’t bring your computer or do not connect it to the internet. 
  • Make plans that are all revolved around being present with the people you are with. Or do it alone and don’t talk to anyone. 
  • Do something that loves on your body (hot yoga, restorative yoga, massage, whatever!) 
  • Any other parameters you want to set for yourself. 

This last weekend Sean (the hubs) and I stayed at The Sacajawea Hotel. “The Sac” as it’s known in these parts is in Three Forks, Montana, which is one of the most significant points on the Lewis and Clark Trail. Three Forks is the the headwaters of the Missouri River. And in Three Forks, Montana, Sacajawea was reunited with her brother and brokered safe passage for the explorers. The Sacajawea Hotel was constructed in 1910. 

Pretty cool, right? 

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It was the perfect blend of ease and luxury as it’s just 20 miles from our house, but feels like a whole different world. If you’re in the area (or going to be in the area) I highly recommend looking into staying at “The Sac.” 

That being said, a stay-cation doesn't have to be super swanky. It can be super basic. It can mean putting your phone on airplane mode, turn your wifi router off, and just reading for the weekend; totally disconnected. 

No matter where you're at, you've got the means to disconnect and I guarantee you'll be so happy you did. 

Read This & Feel Better Immediately

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What will you do with your one & only most wild & precious life?

We can get so bogged down in the details.

We can get so focused on what we don’t have & what we aren’t doing & what we can’t seem to make happen.

But this, right here, right now, is YOUR life & I bet if you look around you can find a lot of stuff you do have, things you are doing, & what you are making happen.

A simple shift of perspective from constricted to expansive.

Closed to open.

Small to big.

That’s all it takes.

A deep breath in.
A long, happy sigh out.

Come back to you.

Come back to the Truth.
You are good.


You are precious.


All moments have led you up to this one, to experiencing exactly what you are experiencing.


No one else has ever gotten to be right where you are, right now. And that is the most valuable fact.

There you are.

I’m with you.

A Self Care Ritual

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While I’m on my period I always find I need to take a little extra time for myself.

Our periods are such an amazing time to slow down, turn inward, and really harness our feminine power. In this day and age I think a lot women despise their periods. We get cramps, we’re moody and sensitive, and everything just seems harder. When I was on the pill I would purposefully skip my periods because they seemed like such a bother.

But now, I’ve realized how incredibly sacred cycling is. I’ve started to embrace this time of the month as the perfect time for reflection and deep self love. During our periods are when we are most spiritually astute and in tune. It’s when “the veil” between worlds is thinnest, so to speak. That’s why we get sensitive. We get “moody”, which is really just patronizing speak for being able to pick up on a lot of complex emotions and feelings. When we are in this ultra connected state we have to ‘do’ less and ‘be’ more.

Cramping, nausea, heat regulation issues, and the other physical symptoms of our periods, when extreme, can be a sign of hormonal imbalances as well as disconnection from our feminine side. In a way it’s “She” calling out for us to listen to Her.

A lot of hormonal imbalance comes from our bodies having a hard time detoxifying and processing synthetic hormones from birth control, artificial fragrances, and chemicals in our food that act similar to hormones. So if you have extremely painful cramping or other extreme symptoms, there are a lot of very successful natural ways to balance hormones. Reach out to me and we can get you set up on a natural path to healing. 

Even with well-balanced hormones and a good practice of listening to ourselves and self care, we can still get some light cramping, fatigue, headaches, etc. Our bodies are doing A LOT internally doing that time, so we need to give them a break. 

For me, the second day of my period always seems to be the day where my body really calls for some tenderness. So I’ve developed a self care ritual that makes me felt cared for, marks this special time of the month, and creates a sense of trust between myself and my body. It also supports detoxification of hormones and soothes any symptoms I might be having. 

 

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com. Make sure this something gentle. During our periods exercising should be smooth, flowing, and gentle. No hardcore workouts please.  

Step 2: Dry brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities. 

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find your dosha here.

For this step, I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself and telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things. 

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful. 

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate.

Do this and you’ll feel like a totally new person. I promise. 

**If you’d like to get some CPTG essential oils at 25% off their retail price, please contact me at clara@revolutionarylifestyle.com 

 

 

 

 

Is Your Body Calling to Slow Down?

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This week I have been feeling a call to turn inward.

 

In the past I might have viewed this feeling as laziness, lack of motivation, or just generally that “something was wrong with me.” I would have fought it. I would have pushed at it and said, “C’mon, get moving! We’ve got STUFF to DO! I can’t have you moping around and making me feel like I’m stuck in a vat of honey all the time.” 

 

But now, with more discernment and understanding of myself and my tendencies, I don’t see this feeling as something that needs to be “pushed” through or changed in anyway. I simply recognize it as my inner being calling for a phase of rebuilding, recuperating, retreating inwards. 

 

To exhale, we must inhale. 

 

For the summer to come we’ve got to have a winter. 

 

These are the truths of nature and of life.

 

In a society that values “getting shit done” and “productivity” and material gain above almost anything else; slowing down and giving up productivity and material gain in exchange for more time spent ‘being’ with ourselves can feel almost shameful. 

 

That’s where that voice urging my desire for stillness to go away comes from. It comes from the idea that if I stop and slow down and listen to the parts of me that may want to some rest, some peace, some re-membering of something deeper, that I will somehow loose my spot in the proverbial line of life. That if I don’t “keep up” I’ll be unloved and left behind and also, *gasp* that I might not be a “good” person. A “good” person works really hard, sacrifices, and pushes through discomfort, after all. 

 

Right? 

 

Not for me. I have experienced being that exhausted person, and I’m willing to be most of us have or are experiencing that hollow, fatigue-worn place of attempting to “do it all.” It’s not fun. It’s not what I want my life to look like.

 

So when I feel the call to turn inward I do it. It doesn’t mean my entire life comes to a half. There are a thousand ways to do one thing, and I figure out a way to put my to-do list on the chopping block, eliminate unnecessary tasks (hire a cleaning lady or let the house get dirty, cook simpler, easier meals or eat the same thing over and over again, take a bath instead of checking the email at night), and give myself a little extra wiggle room in my calendar. Take a self-care day. Dance. Go for long walks surrounded by nature. 

 

One thing that I love to do when I’m feeling that inward call is to energetically explore my heart space. The heart space is where we experience our inner innocence. In the space of the heart we can actually experience the part of ourselves that is completely clear and pure. The part of us that is never tarnished by experiences, perceived mistakes and failures. The energetic space of the heart is the place we need to ground in to when we are feeling unworthy, shameful or broken. 

 

As gift to all of you I have recorded a practice I use during these times of internal reconnection. Please download it here (https://www.clarawisner.com/meditations) and use for yourself if you feel called. 

 

Shame is Not a Motivational Speaker

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t’s kinda crazy how we think using shame is going to motivate us into “staying in line.”

When you want someone else to do something for you.. do you “shame” them?

I hope not. When I’m asking a favor of someone or I want to motivate someone to do something I generally find something to compliment about them (authentically of course) or assure them how powerful/strong/smart/resilient they are.

It works so much better to treat people with kindness. 

So.. if we want ourselves to make a change, why don’t we “butter” ourselves up a bit?

Why don’t we assure ourselves how loved, loving and lovable we are?

Shame makes us shrink. It makes us scared, fearful, and downtrodden.

Love makes us blossom & expand.

When we speak #onlylove to ourselves we start to see the incredible amount of potential we have to create the changes we want to see in our lives and the world.

Shame is not a motivational speaker and you can never get more love through fear, threats, or misery.

Only Love creates more love.

So give up self-shaming right here and right now. I'm with you. 

Are you ready for a new way to deal with compulsive unhealthy eating? Check out the free training going on right now to discover my 3 step process for stopping unhealthy eating patterns through self-love, not self-shame. --> https://livetrainingnow.com/clara-wisner/free-training

The Myth of "Doing It All"

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Sometimes we feel like we should be able to do it all.

We have this sense that “everyone else” is doing more than we are;. That we’ll somehow “fall behind” if we don’t go a thousand miles a minute.

Better “keep up”!

We have this idea that we should be able to eat “clean” all the time, workout (hard) every day, take care of our families, be chronically sleep deprived and still function well, be successful, make lots of money, have lots of things, have awesome relationships with our parents & have close knit circle of friends... the list goes on.

No wonder we all feel so f*cking tired.

Of course we can’t do all that.

News flash! We can have EVERYTHING our hearts desire, but we’ve better take care of ourselves during the process of getting it, or else what’s the point?

The world needs the best version of you, you can be. The world needs your rested, cared for, & FULL self.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s one of the best things you can do for other people. Letting yourself rest, have downtime, and eat as much as you want, is a gift to yourself and the people around you most. 

When we don't allow yourself to dream, value your inner guidance system, pay attention to what your body is calling for, our relationships suffer. There is no doubt. Our relationships thrive when we are thriving. 

I’m so over women feeling like they have to wear all the hats. Feeling like their dreams require them to sacrifice. Feeling that they need to do all the things and look good doing it.

We don’t.

There will always be phases of intensity when we talk about building dreams, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to let yourself ENJOY every moment of it.

So go ahead.
Give into the pleasure of the moment.
Relish an extra hour in bed; I promise the world won’t collapse and you won’t get fired.
Eat another piece of pizza.

One thing I just did: mark a day off on your calendar as “a personal day” and do absolutely nothing else but recuperate & lounge.

What are you going to do to take care of yourself today?

What to do with Worry

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I heard a quote from Abraham Hicks the other day: “Worry is just putting yourself in the future without the resources you have right now.” 

As the ever-loving Universe would have it we’re always being offered lessons. The exact right information comes at the exact right moment when we’re ready to receive it. Hearing this statement was one of those synchronistic moments for me.  

I am a very anxious person by nature. My brain is on hyper alert all the time. I’m the type of person that wants to solve everything and everything done right now. Someone doesn’t text me back immediately? They’re probably dead. You don’t answer the phone? You’re dead in my mind. My husband leaves the house in a car. He’s probably going to die. 

I know how ridiculous this sounds (although I’m willing to bet a lot more people than you would think can relate to these thoughts pretty well). Luckily, with my spiritual practice and the effort I’ve put into the development of my higher self, these anxious, crazy thoughts don’t really get a hold on me at all anymore. I can watch them and let them go. 

But my anxiety does create more struggle in my life sometimes. I get very anxious about returning emails. I get anxious about not “taking advantage” of my time. I get anxious about if I’m being productive enough. I get anxious about planning things and making sure plans are carried out.The list goes on. So when I heard this quote about worrying being putting yourself in the future where you don’t have the resources you have right now it clicked. 

When we worry or get anxious about things that might or might not happen we aren’t giving ourselves any good options. We’re literally putting ourselves out in total pure potential land (the future) with no grounding presence of now. We don’t have our breath. We don’t have our feet on the ground. We don’t have our five senses. We don’t know what we’ll feel like, or how much sleep we might have get. 

So what do we do with worry? What do we do when our powerful little monkey minds just spin out on some awful scenario or tangent? 

We come back to now. We take a deep breath. We feel our feet on the ground. We engage our senses. 

We ask ourselves, “Is there something I can do about this situation right now?” 

Now, if you were worrying about whether or not you left the coffee maker on, you could technically do something about that. You could go back home and check the coffee maker. You could text your partner at home and ask them to check it. So if there does happen to be something you can do about worry subject. Go ahead and DO IT. 

However, if there is nothing you can do about the situation you are worrying about right now, then this is when you can start to engage presence and take your power back. You shift your focus. Focus on your sternum, or your heart, or somewhere in your physical body. Close your eyes and breathe into that place. Notice how the air feels on your skin. Taste. Smell. Be present. 

And just like that we’ve let go of worry and reclaimed our power, right now, in the present where we belong. 

This may seem very simple, and it is. But that doesn’t mean it should be discounted. The answer is more often than not..simple. It does take practice and discipline to focus our minds, so although this can work really well in the moment, it’s also something that can be more effective if you calm and focus your mind on a regular basis through a meditation or mindfulness practice of some sort. 

Peace be with you, my friends. 

Non-Toxic Living

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If you saw my recent posts on social media you know I’ve deemed the month of May “non-toxic living” month. On instagram (@revolutionarylifestyle) and in my free facebook group (Self Love Community) I’ve been posting daily videos on how to detox your life and why you’d want to. All these tips are real life, practical things that I actually do. I’m also doing a pretty kick ass giveaway (free stuff!). Get all the details and follow along via facebook or instagram

 

Today on the blog I want to talk about non-toxic living and self love. We tend to separate the physical from the mental/emotional and separate the mental/emotional from the spiritual, but if you read my stuff, you know it’s kind of my thing to address all four of these aspects at the same time. I truly believe we can’t really talk about physical health without addressing mental and emotional health, and we can’t talk about mental and emotional health without talking about spiritual health. 

So what would using non toxic cleaning products have to do with our spiritual health, you wonder? 

Well… everything. 

 

We are incredibly intricate and unfathomably complicated beings. The way our cells function is affected by the vibrational environment our bodies are currently in. As I wrote about last week, we are not victims of our energetic environment, but we can take responsibility for giving our cells the easiest time of it. We also must understand that we are inextricably linked to the Earth and when we hurt or endanger the Earth we also hurt and endanger ourselves. 

When we shift into the paradigm of self-love we start to care deeply about what we put inside our bodies, what we put on the outside of our bodies, what we surround ourselves with, and the health of our precious Earth. The difference between selfishness and self-love is vast, and one of the most notable differences, is the fact that self-love has no limits and expands to include the entire Earth, whereas selfishness and materialism is limited and tends to hurt the Earth.  And this is how living a non toxic lifestyle, taking our own health into our hands, respecting the Earth, and self-love all tie together. 

 

There are variations when it comes to toxicity, as with all things. For example, red dye #40 is a known carcinogen and petroleum based substance, but 15 million pounds of it are used each year in our food. This is something we know for sure we should all be avoiding. But then there are things like artificial flavorings that can be perfectly harmless or toxic depending on what they are made from. Europe has banned 1,300 cosmetic chemicals and the US has banned 11. So there’s all sorts of opinions. There are variations in toxicity and we all have the responsibility to take on this process of learning about toxins and decide what we, at our particular phase of life and capacity, can prioritize. Choose your battles wisely. 

 

But.. a quote that I come back to again and again is, “How we do one thing is how we do all things.” 

I know that this quote can sound unfair, or unrealistic, but it can also be a relieving and simplifying idea to build your life around. 

When I allow my food to be toxic, my thoughts will become toxic, my emotions and my spiritual connection will be blocked. So why don’t I choose to leave out toxicity and focus on natural, whole, from the Earth, for the Earth, food (aka organic). Why don’t I decide to not support companies that make toxic cosmetic products and harm my mother Earth and create my own facial oils from certified pure therapeutic grade oils or buy products from companies that have similar values as me? Why don’t I buy the biodegradable, fragrance-free laundry and dishwashing soap so that there isn’t a disconnect between the way I treat my body and the way I treat the Earth? 

These are really small, little shifts, and in the grand scheme of things they may not make all that much of a difference when we talk about global impact. But how you do one thing is how you do all things, and when you treat your body well, you start to see your mental capacity for goodness expand. When your mental capacity for goodness expands, your emotions lighten up, and your purpose becomes more and more clear. 

So let’s all get on board with this non-toxic living month and start to detoxify our bodies, our minds, our feelings, and our spiritual connection. 

If you’re with me, comment below, join the facebook group, or follow along on instagram. Can’t wait to hear from you. 

How to Energetically Protect Yourself

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We live in a society that can scoff at the intuitive, energetic, and sensitive. 

But the truth is, even if we don't know it, we talk about energetic concepts all the time. 

We say things like, "She just rubbed me the wrong way." or "I didn't like that place it was creepy." 

We are energetic beings. Even with zero education around the energetic, most of us are incredibly good at reading situations, people, and experiences.

Think about the last time you got a "hunch" that was something off about a particular situation. What about the last time you made eye contact with a stranger and you felt that spark of deep connection? These are glimpses into the intuitive powers we all posses, but most of us have no idea how to use.

Being tapped into the energetic can highly benefit us. In situations it can be very useful to be able to keep your energy "separate" from someone else's and it can also be incredibly enjoyable to extend and link your energy with a friend or loved one. But to do both of these well, and much more subtle variations of energetic disengagement and connection, we must become more conscious of our own energy. 

Some of the most successful people in the world have unwittingly tapped into the energetic and used that knowledge to connect with people, influence situations, and create movements. 

On the subject of energetic protection I tend to have a dissenting opinion. I believe we don't actually need to "protect" ourselves from anything. That would mean we could be a victim of someone else's energy. I am a firm believer in radical responsibility and always encourage an empowering mindset over a victim mindset.

When someone says something like, "I can't be around her, she's too negative," that is someone who is not attuned to their own energy and allows someone else's energy to affect them as if they didn't have any control whatsoever.

We may very well not want to hang out with negative people (who does?!) and we can most certainly set boundaries and make conscious choices not to hang around people who are downers, but at some point in our lives we are going to have to be around people who are negative or rub us the wrong way, and we have to take full responsibility for our reactions to that energy when we do. 

I know humans are incredibly powerful energetic beings, and as long as we have a little knowledge and conscious comprehension of energy, we can actually transmute any energy that is not our own and send it back out into the world transformed. This way we actually start to leave a trail of empowerment wherever we go. We don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything's energy, as long as we are aware enough to be able to connect into our own heart space and let what is happening in us to flow through us. 

Protecting Your Energy: 

When in a situation that feels overwhelming, out of your control, or you're around someone who always seems to be pushing your buttons, you can use this simple practice. 

Step 1: Ask yourself this question: "What percentage of the way I feel right now is mine?" 

Step 2: When you have a number in mind, let's say it's 20%. Then you can take a deep breath into your heart and release the breath while saying to yourself or out loud, "I send this energy that is not mine, back from where it came; blessed and transformed." You have transmuted energy from heaviness into a blessing. 

Step 3: As far as the 20% (or whatever number you came up with) that is yours, take another breath and imagine your heart expanding to fit this energy inside it. Feel the heat, the tightness, the tingling sensation or whatever comes up that is the feeling you don't like in your physical body. Stay with this feeling with zero judgment until it starts to dissolve, and transform it into love. 

**If this small practice doesn't seem to dissipate your energy in this situation or you'd like to follow along with an audio version of this practice download the "Emotional Alchemy Audio Practice." 

Playing with Energetic Connection: 

It is ideal to have a friend or loved one that is willing to do this practice with you. Although you can test it out on anyone you happen to be interacting with and see what happens. 

Step 1: If you're with someone who is participating with you sit across from one another, in a chair on or on the ground. One of you will now try to "reach out" energetically to the other, while the one doing the receiving stays open and accepting of the "reaching out" energy. 

Step 2: Do the same thing starting with the other partner. (If you are not doing this with a partner, then during a conversation or interaction you are having try to "reach out" energetically, and then try to receive  energetically.) 

Step 3: Discuss with each other what it felt like to "reach out" and what it felt like to receive. Or, sans partner, just notice how the people you are interacting with respond differently when you're in the receiving mode or in the giving mode. 

Step 4: One partner tries to extend their energy again, but this time the other partner tries to "shut down" or "put up a wall" to block the attempts at the reaching out.

Step 5: Discuss the differences between how the receiving energy, extending energy, and shutting down energy felt. 

This exercise is a great way to practice getting a "feel" for energy and familiarize your conscious mind with it. 

Practice these two  exercises and let me know what you notice by commenting below. 

 

 

I Don't Play That Game

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This week I’ve had a lot of self doubt appear.

If you’re an entrepreneur you probably know this feeling well. That little voice that says, “what if you’re crazy?” “what if you don’t have what it takes to do what you’re doing?” “You’re not as good as everyone else,” and on and on. 

If you’re not an entrepreneur I’m willing to bet a million bucks you’ve experienced self-doubt in some other form. Self-doubt always rears it’s ugly head when we’re trying to change something or do something out of the ordinary. Maybe you’ve questioned whether or not you’re ever going to find a partner after a breakup or the 100th bad date. “You’re going to end up alone.” Maybe you’ve heard the voice when you wanted to reach a certain health or lifestyle goal. “You’re not thin and bendy enough to do yoga!” 

I think you get the point. It’s ain’t pretty. 

So.. that’s what’s been happening to me this week and I want to share a new practice that has helped me to disengage from the self doubt, make myself feel better, and move forward.

This practice is very simple. Here it is, when you hear that voice of self-doubt, state to yourself, “No, I don’t play that game.” 

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When the voice says, “Your thighs are so big you’re never going to be taken seriously as a health and wellness coach.” You say right back, “No, I don’t play that game.” I don’t play the game where the way my body looks gets to make me feel bad or unworthy of what I want. I play the game where my body is precious, sacred, and beautiful, and also where I am SO much more than my body.

When the voice says, “You’re crazy to think that you could make $12,000 a month passively. Maybe some people can do it, but YOU never could.” I say right back, “I don’t play that game.” I play the game where the world is abundant, amazing, and earning a beautiful living is possible, easy, and simple.

When the voice says, “This is too hard. You better quit.” You say, “Nope. I don’t play that game.” I play the game that allows what is to be the way it is. I don’t resist any experience that is placed in front of me because I know life is always happening for me, not to me. I always can find a thought that feels good. I’m always preparing myself to be ready for the best possible thing to happen to me.

I play the games that I want to play. Not the ones that society sometimes seems to have forced upon me. 

When we disengage from the “game”, we simply refuse to engage with the thought patterns that hold us back from whatever we want to do; and we’ll see we never had to play those games in the first place. 

This doesn’t mean that the voice or the fears completely go away forever. It just means they become background noise instead of the main chorus. And with practice you’ll be able to unhook from ‘the games’ faster and with more ease.

Freedom is yours. It’s a choice in each moment. Don’t forget that. Using this mantra allows us to remember we can choose to disengage and get on with our awesomeness. 

 

 

Surrender and Ease: the Key to True Success

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Success and fulfillment are different, but they both require surrender. 

When we think of success we normally think of material things; a nice car, a big house, money, vacations, etc. But, when we think about fulfillment we normally think of something deeper. A job well done. A purpose met. A connection. Fulfillment is spiritual, where as success is more material. 

When we talk about either success or fulfillment we tend to refer to our profession or career. A career can definitely create success, but it also can bring a lot of fulfillment or un-fulfillment.

A lot of times when we talk about the success of our business ventures or careers, our health and wellness, or the fulfillment of our life's purpose we talk about all the “hard work” involved; all the struggle and pain we've had to endure or the time we had to “put in” to be where we are now. 

But right here; right now, I’m going to totally and completely disagree with this notion of necessary struggle; because in my life; I’ve always had the biggest breakthroughs, the most success and fulfillment when I let go; when I surrender. When I let things align. When I stop “trying” so damn hard all the time.

On some level we all tend to believe we don’t deserve good things to happen to us; that we need to or should be required to work super hard for all we desire.

But the truth is; the moment we focus on aligning with what feels good and let the rest go; is when true fulfillment happens.

THAT is when life gets good. 

You are good enough to have all you want.

You are deserving of all your desires.

You have permission to want what you want.

But don’t let the fact that you might not have it all right now make you play the victim.

The truth is you already have it all anyway. The truth is your true success and all the fulfillment you're looking for is already in your own heart. You've just got to re-member it. 

So I’m going to go totally against the grain and say that you will find true success and fulfillment when you let things be EASY.

When you find pleasure and joy in the work; not by banging your head against a wall and hustling until you squeeze the life out of your adrenals.

Life is meant to be fun, wild, and enjoyable.

Your work is your purpose; and that comes easily.

Stop the resistance. Make the choice. Stretch your heart open to fit whatever is happening inside of it.

Your only job is to breathe into whatever is happening right now; and appreciate it.

I’m with you.

The Importance of Pleasure (and the truth behind sugar cravings)

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Ever since the Love Rising podcast episode with Carli Jo  (listen to it here) I have been thinking a lot about pleasure and what it means, how I get it and why so many of us women struggle to experience and value it. 

I am not necessarily talking about sexual pleasure, although I'm also not not talking about sexual pleasure. The way we do one thing is the way we do all things. But for all intents and purposes we can just say we're talking about pleasure in a general sense. How much do we ENJOY our lives? Do we take pleasure in waking up? Going to sleep? In eating our food? In our body's movement? In playing with kids or pups? 

It's so funny how when something "pings" me, as the subject of pleasure did in our podcast conversation, it starts to show up everywhere. It's kind of like how you hear a word you've never heard before once and then you hear it everywhere. One of the lessons I've learned in the last couple years is to pay attention to these synchronicities as they normally lead me to healing breakthroughs or realizations. So.. as this synchronicity would have it, in my therapy appointment today, pleasure came up.

Without getting into too much detail, my therapist actually asked me, “where do you experience pleasure in your daily life?” 

And I stalled. 

I was left searching for a bit. 

When I did answer I said, "In yoga: when my breath, body, and mind, are all aligned." Once I can get my monkey mind to calm down and connect into the breath, yoga is a place that I consistently experience pleasure. There is a flowing grace that comes when you are internally present and aware of your body. There aren’t any stories going on in my mind; no threat of my phone buzzing or my computer dinging. When I know I am contained by the mat, the room, and the hour of time to just move and breathe and connect.

I am someone who takes the idea of pleasure pretty seriously already. This isn't the first time I've explored pleasure or flow. I've been wrapped up in that go, go, go lifestyle before and I know no matter what kind of success or astronomical levels of productivity you reach, if you're not enjoying it; it doesn't matter. So the fact that I have been so disconnected from my own pleasure lately is a little alarming and a great wake up call for me to tap back in to enjoying my daily life. Letting go of the masculine pushing/doing energy yet again and flow into that open receiving energy a little bit more. 

One thing that happens when I get pulled into that productivity equals worthiness mindset is that I start to crave sweets. And this totally makes sense. 

When we have a pleasure deficit in our lives we'll try to make up for it with quick shots of "junk" pleasure. Sugar, junk food, drinking alcohol, binge watching TV, etc, all these things give us the guise of pleasure and "taste" good at first, but leave us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. Because what we really want is deep, juicy, wholesome pleasure. The pleasure that comes in ordinary moments of presence. The pleasure that comes from using all five of our senses in the present moment. 

I know that when I start to crave sweets or fall into my personal pattern of emotional eating.. I don't need more discipline. I don't need more "willpower", I actually need more slow, flowing, pleasure in my life. I need to turn inwards and notice the ecstatic pleasure of breathing, eating, BEING. 

If you find yourself always wanting ‘something sweet’ after dinner or having urges to go out and “let loose”, or just feeling generally ornery or lacking in enjoyment in life, in sex, in work; in everything; my invitation to you (and myself) is to go find something in everyday life that brings you pleasure and do it as much as you can. Try to find as much pleasure as possible in everyday moments. 

Find pleasure in savoring your coffee. Find pleasure in walking your dog. Find pleasure in driving to work. Find pleasure in eating your lunch. Find pleasure in the sun shine. 

Let’s all commit to more pleasure in our daily lives and I bet we’ll see some miraculous changes in our health and the health of the world.