How to be a Grown Ass Woman


One of my friends said to me this week, "I feel like our world is in dire need of more grown ass people."

And it got me thinking... 

I would define a "grown ass person" as follows: 
People who say what they mean. People who take real responsibility for their actions, words and the effects those actions and words have on others. Not from a place is self-defacement or berating themselves for screwing up if they do, but from a genuine desire to grow and develop and expand themselves. 

Like a real grown up. 

I'm a firm believer in treating people as if they are mature, grown-ups who, when given the correct information, can weigh the pros and cons of any certain situation, and make their own educated decisions. 

I always choose mutual respect as my default baseline interaction with anyone I come in contact with. If someone shows me that they don't reciprocate this mutual respect I can always adjust my behavior accordingly, but, for me, it always seems to work out better to give people the 'adult benefit of the doubt.'

I barely ever have experiences with bad or rude customer service. 

It's rare for me to have someone road-rage at me. 

I sign up pretty much every potential coaching client I get on a phone call with that I would like to work with.

And my track record for friendly and lovely conversations with strangers is pretty much 100%. 

I would say most the people I encounter in my life, are decent, grown-ups. 

The expectations we go into an interaction with another person with determine a huge portion of what we get in return. If we expect people to be stupid, difficult, and mean, they will most likely be that. If we expect people to hate us and treat us like shit, they probably will. 

But... the same goes for the opposite. 
If we’re honest, real and vulnerable, people will most likely be honest, real and vulnerable with us.
If we respect people and their ability to make your own choices, they will do the same for us.
If I pay my bills right away, it’s more likely my clients will pay their invoices right away.

There is a certain reciprocity that happens in every element of interaction with another person; en energetic exchange that people read off you and mirror back to you.

I think sometimes we associate being an “adult” with chronological age like somehow we just become an adult as a result of an accumulation of years. But to really “grow up” we have to fully participate in the process of learning, dealing with consequences of our actions, learning about ourselves, deciding what we value and how we want to show up, and then actually acting on those values.

I want to live in a world where the people around me act like grown ass humans, who know who they are and what they want, and make trade-offs for upholding those values. And as I let this belief and expectation be seen, I will get more of exactly that.

I am not blind. I know there is a lot of childish rhetoric going around in the media, news, and the general conversation, but I truly believe that we have to start expecting more of people. We have fallen into the expectation that people will be polarizing, combative, and unreasonable. But the truth is, we have great abilities, in ourselves, to change this, and seeing and treating other people like grown-ups is a big part of making this shift to a more reasonable world.

So let’s all treat each other with love and like the autonomous, sovereign beings, we are. Let's expect people to handle themselves gracefully and fairly, and see what happens.

Clara Wisner

Clara Wisner is a Certified Nutrition Therapy Practitioner. She attended school at the Nutrition Therapy Institute in Denver, CO from 2012 to 2015. Clara Wisner is also a Certified Primal Expert and a Certified Sugar Detox Coach. She has a BS in Resource Conservation and Economics from the University of Montana. She is a world traveler and is working on cookbook tentatively called Paleo Around the World: A modern Take on Traditional Recipes. Clara organizes the Paleo Pop Events in Denver, helping to create a healthier, stronger, more connected community. She currently lives in Denver, CO with her husband and the paleo puggle, Ooli. In her free time she crossfits, cooks, writes poetry, walks dogs (other peoples’ and her own), listens to A LOT of podcasts, reads fantasy novels and also loves to read about biology, neurology, and marketing.