Nothing is Personal

Nothing is personal. 

This concept has come up a few times with clients and in my own personal development work this week.

What happens when you hear it?

Does your mind say: "That's not true! What about that time that guy shattered my heart?"

Maybe you think about all the times you've experienced things that seemed so personal they cut you to the core. "It was painful!" your mind says. "I felt rejected, fearful, afraid, violated, awful...."...ect. 

But the truth, in the absolute reality; nothing is personal. 

When we blame others or situations for how we are feeling, acting or where we are in this particular moment or phase of life.. we are allowing ourselves to be victimized.

We are saying, "I don't have control because of ___________."

That's a victim mindset and that takes away our power.

When we take things personally, we are assuming that we know all the ins and outs of what's going in a certain situation (we could never know).

We are assuming that the situation/person we are blaming has had the same background and experience as us in life (this could never be the case). 

That guy that broke your heart. I'm sure he had a completely different experience around the whole situation than you did. He may have felt scared of commitment, or unworthy of love, or just simply wasn't open to love the way you were. This makes for a very different view of the situation, does it not? 

That woman that cut you off in traffic the other day and then flipped you off. Maybe she just got out of a meeting where her boss told her she was getting a pay cut and was late to pick up her kid. We just don't know.

And even if we think we know all there is to know, 100% of the time, we don't. 

When we play the victim we don't allow the wisdom of the painful experience to be realized. We don't take the opportunity to see how the shit can be turned to fertilizer. 

This doesn't mean you won't get hurt, feel sad, angry, despondent.. but it does mean that we can take responsibility for those feelings and do what we must to heal ourselves without needing someone else or something else to soothe us.

So today I give you this affirmation (it's one I have used for over a year, consistently):

"Nothing I experience is created by anything outside of me."

Now lighten up, lovely, it's not personal...

Clara Wisner

Clara Wisner is a Certified Nutrition Therapy Practitioner. She attended school at the Nutrition Therapy Institute in Denver, CO from 2012 to 2015. Clara Wisner is also a Certified Primal Expert and a Certified Sugar Detox Coach. She has a BS in Resource Conservation and Economics from the University of Montana. She is a world traveler and is working on cookbook tentatively called Paleo Around the World: A modern Take on Traditional Recipes. Clara organizes the Paleo Pop Events in Denver, helping to create a healthier, stronger, more connected community. She currently lives in Denver, CO with her husband and the paleo puggle, Ooli. In her free time she crossfits, cooks, writes poetry, walks dogs (other peoples and her own), listens to A LOT of podcasts, reads fantasy novels and also loves to read about biology, neurology, and marketing.