I got a message from a tribe member of mine recently talking about how she was just so tired of hating her body, of that feeling of guilt every time she ate. She was so tired of constantly thinking she should be working out more, or less, or differently. She was tired of not feeling comfortable in her own skin. In it, she said how she knew, deep down, that she shouldn't feel this way, that there had to be a better way, but it seemed just out of reach. It came up over and over again just how exhausted she was with it all. How incredibly draining it all is. The constant worrying. The constant needing to be different. The constant anxiety around who she is.
Women who are struggling with this exact issue are who I am talking to every time I write a post for social media. They are who I am thinking of every time I write a blog post. The constant aching that results from worrying so fucking much about what other people think about us is what I hope my words can be a soothing balm for.
So… in the interest of extending hope, I thought I’d write a letter to anyone who feels this way. To anyone is feeling beyond exhausted by the incessant pull to be different than they are, the never-ending compulsion to do more, know more, be more: this letter is for you.
I hope it lets you breathe a little bit deeper.
I hope it reignites something that has been buried in the embers of your soul.
I hope it brings you comfort.
I hope it acts as a tonic for the part of you that’s been sick.
Dear powerful, amazing, incredible woman,
I know you’re more than tired.
I know you’re hurting.
I know it seems like this grind of needing more things, smaller or more muscular thighs, a more toned stomach or arms, a straighter nose, bigger lips, more “will power”, and on and on, will never end.
I have been there.
I know exactly what that feels like.
My bones are still vibrating with the reverberations of that frequency of compulsiveness.
My eyes recognize your struggle.
My ears hear to your pain.
My heart hurts with yours.
I’ve also seen the Light.
I’ve seen the Truth.
And the Truth is that you are worthy beyond your WILDEST DREAMS.
The Truth is that you are Pure Love.
The Truth is that this form, this body you so intensely think makes you unworthy is simply and beautifully the thought of Love in form.
It’s the content of these heartbreakingly lovely forms (our bodies) that matter.
This body, this form, that brings us so much strife, is an incredible and incomprehensibly intelligent communication device.
I have been in the depths of perceived unworthiness
I have been in the space that feels like the self-loathing could never turn into self-love
And I am grateful for it
Because finally, it broke me open
I finally cracked and when I did, the pathway to the Light was opened.
You won’t always look at your body and think, “You are so fucking sexy!”
That’s not the point.
But, you can get to a place where you look at your body and feel nothing but awe and gratitude.
The self-negating Voice in your head won’t totally disappear or be replaced by only nice words.
That’s also not the point.
But, you can get to a place where that voice has no power.
As one of my clients said, “The Voice is like a drunk bum on the street, yelling obscenities at you. You would never take what he says seriously. You know he’s mentally ill and belligerently drunk.”
In other words, you can get to place where Love is what dwells in authority in your life, not Fear.
You can get to a place where you have such a solid base of self-respect and self-compassion that nothing could ever topple you.
Nothing could ever take away your own authority, your sovereignty, your self-respect.
Not mean comments.
Not exercise or lack of exercise.
Not online comments.
Not even a whole society that’s revolved around making you think you need to be smaller or need more or different things to be loved.
When you re-member the love that lives inside of you, you are uncrushable, unshakable, unbreakable.
The not-so-secret-secret is that this power to return to Love is already inside of you.
You only have to re-member it.
Don't ever forget that I am right there with you.
If this resonates with you and you are ready to re-member that Love inside of you, come join me in a journey back to yourself, a journey back home: an awakening of Love's authority. Revolutionize Your Life: twenty-one weeks to Self Love, is an online course I have birthed after taking the lessons learned from my deeply personal journey of healing and recreating and systematizing that process for hundreds of one on one clients. This online program is literally a twenty-one week journey back to yourself, to awaken that inner self-respect that is unshakeable.