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I Don't Play That Game

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This week I’ve had a lot of self doubt appear.

If you’re an entrepreneur you probably know this feeling well. That little voice that says, “what if you’re crazy?” “what if you don’t have what it takes to do what you’re doing?” “You’re not as good as everyone else,” and on and on. 

If you’re not an entrepreneur I’m willing to bet a million bucks you’ve experienced self-doubt in some other form. Self-doubt always rears it’s ugly head when we’re trying to change something or do something out of the ordinary. Maybe you’ve questioned whether or not you’re ever going to find a partner after a breakup or the 100th bad date. “You’re going to end up alone.” Maybe you’ve heard the voice when you wanted to reach a certain health or lifestyle goal. “You’re not thin and bendy enough to do yoga!” 

I think you get the point. It’s ain’t pretty. 

So.. that’s what’s been happening to me this week and I want to share a new practice that has helped me to disengage from the self doubt, make myself feel better, and move forward.

This practice is very simple. Here it is, when you hear that voice of self-doubt, state to yourself, “No, I don’t play that game.” 

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When the voice says, “Your thighs are so big you’re never going to be taken seriously as a health and wellness coach.” You say right back, “No, I don’t play that game.” I don’t play the game where the way my body looks gets to make me feel bad or unworthy of what I want. I play the game where my body is precious, sacred, and beautiful, and also where I am SO much more than my body.

When the voice says, “You’re crazy to think that you could make $12,000 a month passively. Maybe some people can do it, but YOU never could.” I say right back, “I don’t play that game.” I play the game where the world is abundant, amazing, and earning a beautiful living is possible, easy, and simple.

When the voice says, “This is too hard. You better quit.” You say, “Nope. I don’t play that game.” I play the game that allows what is to be the way it is. I don’t resist any experience that is placed in front of me because I know life is always happening for me, not to me. I always can find a thought that feels good. I’m always preparing myself to be ready for the best possible thing to happen to me.

I play the games that I want to play. Not the ones that society sometimes seems to have forced upon me. 

When we disengage from the “game”, we simply refuse to engage with the thought patterns that hold us back from whatever we want to do; and we’ll see we never had to play those games in the first place. 

This doesn’t mean that the voice or the fears completely go away forever. It just means they become background noise instead of the main chorus. And with practice you’ll be able to unhook from ‘the games’ faster and with more ease.

Freedom is yours. It’s a choice in each moment. Don’t forget that. Using this mantra allows us to remember we can choose to disengage and get on with our awesomeness. 

 

 

Your Purpose is Not to Be Tiny or Pretty

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Something came up for me during a conversation with a client that I wanted to riff on because I think it's something we all need to hear sometimes. 

"No matter what the point of life may be, I think we should all agree it isn't to be the most beautiful or tiny." @thefuckitdiet

Sometimes we get so lost in the insanity (yes, it is insanity) of:

  • losing that last 10lbs
  • feeling or looking leaner
  • sticking religiously to a certain food plan or diet
  • wishing our lips were fuller 
  • wishing or noses were smaller
  • wishing our cheekbones were higher
  • wishing our thighs were smaller 
  • wishing our skin was clearer
  • wishing we looked or were younger 

you get the point.... I could go on and on.. 

But when we're in our heads wishing, hoping, obsessing over these things we not only take up space that could be used for useful things, we forget that we are multi-dimensional beings of stardust that are here to fulfill amazing purposes and do rad things, like...

make babies, love each other, travel the world, hold doors open for people, hold each other, pet dogs, love cats, take care of our aging parents, teach teenagers how to be good people, cook dinner for our families, and literally so much more. 

Ladies! Let's wake up!  

  • The size of your belly doesn’t matter. 
  • The fact that your thighs rub together when you walk doesn't matter. 
  • The symmetry of your face doesn't matter. 
  • These are all just surface level stuff. 
  • Facades. 

YOU matter. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, our bodies want to be wholly healthy too, but when our preoccupation with these precious physical forms overrides our ability to be who we are, right now, in the moment and takes away our inner knowing that we are freaking, amazing, wondrous beings whose every breath and heartbeat is a mystery we lose the magic of everyday life. And, therefore, stop feeling the wonder of everyday life. 

You are magic. You are enough. 

Your purpose is not to be beautiful or tiny or lean or have perfect feet (or perfect anything for that matter) your job is to be you and love you. 

I love you. You're incredible. 

Body Love Realization

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All the rules are off. 

No more required kale. 

No more required vitamins. 

No more guilt because I didn’t exercise. 

No more obsessive thoughts about ‘needing’ yoga each day. 

No more lists in my phone about my new commitments (that only make me feel bad the next day when I fail to follow through)

No more rules about the way my body should fit into denim, spandex, and cloth

No more worrying about the fact that my skin isn’t flawlessly smooth

No more hiding my tears when they start to flow in public (or in private)

No more shame around the size of my arms 

No more looking at my face and wishing it was more symmetrical 

No more looking at my lips and wishing they were more full

No more not wearing bright colored yoga pants because my cellulite might show  

No more denying who I am right now

I am finally ready to give into the pull 

To get lost in the depths of my soul 

How can I go deeper? 

My heart has been whispering me secrets for so long,

leading me along so lovingly; so gently. 

How could I have not heard? 

How could I have not listened? 

Us humans are funny beings 

Heads down.

Obsessively involved in the upkeep of our own suffering

But the voice telling us to look up is there; always 

Softly reminding us with the joy bubbling up inside, if we would only pay attention NOW

Where is joy trying to bubble up? 

It calls our attention, humbly, with flowers blooming, with sun shining, with grasses waving, with arms outreaching, with rain falling, with dogs wagging their tails at us, with laughter 

The under current of magic and mystery that pervades every moment. Every thing. 

This voice lets me know that there has been no mistake. 

There is nothing to be done, to be accomplished, to be gotten 

There is nothing I need to do to be more me. 

I am me. 

What a blessing. 

Why I Want to Be Bigger

I want to be bigger... 

Wait... is that OK to say? 

Women don't generally want to be bigger, do they? 

I have clients almost daily talk about how they wish they were smaller. They don't always say those words exactly, but that's what they mean. They say things like, "I just wish I weighed a little less," or "I just don't feel comfortable when my thighs rub together," or even, "If I could just get back the size I was a year ago, I would be happy." 

When speaking with a client the other day I asked her what she thought of when she heard the word bigger. She immediately answered that it elicits images of fat rolls, jiggling thighs, and flabby bellies. She said it makes her think of feeling oversized in a small airplane seat and the tightness of a pair jeans around her waist. That's all without a qualifier. Just the simple word "bigger." 

There's something wrong with this... 

Having the idea that our current manifested form must be smaller than it is now, is just flat out a waste of time. Your ability to exist, your right to exist, is not affected by the size of your body. You deserve to be here now. You deserve to take up the space you take up, and it this space most definitely doesn't determine your worth. 

Today, I am here to point out how good the word big can be. To me, it's in the ranks of expanding, broadening, accepting, allowing, and even, perfection. 

What if bigger meant we want to love in a bigger way? What if it meant we want to take the bigger stance? What if it meant we want to expand our minds and broaden our hearts? 

I want to live a life that's big.

My life won't shrink in the face of adversity. It will expand around it and enclose it in bigness and in wholeness. 

I want my ears and eyes to open bigger.

I don't want to only see the size of a person or shallowly admire the ripple of their muscles or comment only on the symmetry of their face. I want to hear their warm, soothing laugh and see their sharp mind. 

I want to see the bigger picture.

If I remember to see from this higher place maybe I will see that I'm not so different from them and they're not so different from me. We all have the same spark of life. The same thing keeps all our hearts beating and our lungs breathing. That's the bigger way of looking at it. 

I want my mind to be pushed to its limits; expanded. I want it to get bigger every day.

I want to fill it up to the brim with experiences, lessons, knowledge, and different philosophies. 

I want to have more connection, a tie to a bigger purpose.

I want to express this purpose boldly, fiercely and in a big way. I don't want to feel small, insignificant, trapped and uninspired. 

I want to feel more. I want to usher in the big emotions with grace and dignity.

I am human after all, a manifested, seemingly separate being that chose to come to this time and place on Earth to experience separation, in order to transform. So bring on the longings, the sadnesses, the anger. They are just proof that there is something to be missed beyond the scope of my current, small understanding. 

Next time you say you want to be smaller or imply as much, think about what you're really saying. Think about how the attitude of wanting to shrink actually effects all other areas of your life.

When you are constantly desiring to be smaller, there is a possibility that this feeling is spilling over into other aspects of our lives, and ultimately holding you back from the expansive bigness you are here to experience. 

So what do you think? Do you want to be bigger too?