revolutionary poetry

What Do Instead Of Making a New Year's Resolution

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During this time of year there is a big emphasis on setting goals and “bettering” ourselves. Sayings like “new year, new you” are everywhere. People are setting aggressive money saving, weight loss, dietary, or workout goals. I’ve seen a lot of people on social media saying thing to the gist of.. “2018 was a terrible a year, but here I come 2019. I’m going to turn it all around.” 

hmmm…

As much as I love goals and focusing on how to bring more intentional design to our lives, new years resolutions aren’t the way we successfully shift our lives.

Here are some harrowing statistics.. 

These aren’t hopeful …

So instead of engaging in something we know doesn’t work for most people, what can you do to actually make 2019 one of the best of your life?

Most of us have broken promises to ourselves much more than we have kept promises to ourselves. What would happen if you had a friend who said they would meet you for coffee at specific date and time and kept either no-showing to the date or making up last minute excuses? You probably wouldn’t trust them. Same goes with ourselves.

When we tell ourselves we’re going to loose weight or save money or change our diet or do more exciting things and we just continue to do the same things we’ve always done, we start to break trust with ourselves. We stop trusting ourselves. 


Then when we set big goals that involve intensive changes to the status quo it’s only a few days or at most a few weeks before we break our promise and go back to our old ways. 

Think about it this way..you’re not going to go on a week long trip to Mexico with your friend who keeps no-showing on you for coffee and you’re not going to trust yourself to eat “clean” and work out every day when you’re not even able to wake up an hour earlier each morning.

So what we need to do is build trust with ourselves in small ways. We need to go for the low hanging fruit. We need to make small changes that are relatively easy and build up from there. The daily habits. This isn’t a sexy proposition, as most people want to make big sweeping changes and see big sweeping results.. but big sweeping results are built from small, steady, consistent daily habits. 


I don’t want to completely disregard goal setting, so I do strongly encourage you to set S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals for one, three and five years in the future. These an adjust and change as our lives and desires do, but we should always have a plan for where we’re headed if we want to live an intentional, consciously created life. 

However, the most important thing to do during this time of year when we’ve got all the fresh, new year energy is to choose five daily habits you know would make you feel better right now, in this moment.

We don’t want to focus on what we want to change as that is heavy and brings into focus how far we’ve got to go. Not a very motivating thought. But we do want to think about what could we do right now that would make us feel better, right now. That feels doable and empowering. Then make those actions daily habits by committing each one for 30 days before adding the new one.

Here are some examples of daily habits I’ve used this method with. 

  • Drink half your body weight in ounces (eg if you weight 200 pounds you would drink 100 ounces of water) in filtered water each day. 

  • Consistently take my supplements.

  • Add green veggies to every meal

  • Meditate for 20 minutes each morning (this could be 5 minutes if you’re new to mindfulness).

  • Sweat each day

  • Spend one hour undistracted with your partner or kids in the evening

  • Stop work at 6pm 

These daily habits are what is going to build a foundation upon which you trust yourself and keep your own promises to yourself.

So what are is the first daily habit you’re going to adopt this new year? 

 

5 Ways to Love Yourself

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I believe that self-love is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Like in the world. Like always and forever.

Ok, strong statements, I know, but hear me out… 

Out of every single person in the world, I am the only one who knows what it feels like to be me.  I am the only person who hears how I hear, who sees how I see, who loves the way I love, who experiences sadness in my way, who understands joy the way I’m meant to. I am, was and will be, with myself. It’s the one thing I can guarantee. If I don’t love me, I’m in a very difficult situation. And all this goes for you. 

When we put our happiness, worthiness, valuation in someone or something else, we are saying something else matters more than our own sovereignty. When we say to ourselves consciously or unconsciously, “For me to be happy, I need him to love me,” or “I’ll really be myself when I lose these last 10 pounds,” we are literally saying someone or something else has control over how much we are worth, how much we deserve, and how much we have. 

It doesn’t matter how much love you get from other people. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like or how many pretty, awesome, expensive things you have. If you don’t love yourself, it’s all just a guise, a false front. The core of happiness isn’t there. 

I have the incredible privilege to talk about, practice, and explore self-love every day. It is my soul obsession. It’s my purpose. Not because I think I am doing the world a service (although, I certainly hope I am!) but because it’s what I want to do, and I love and trust myself fully so I follow the urge. Simple as that. 

I’m currently traveling around the world, exploring self-love practices and spiritual theories and slowly compiling it all into a book about self-love. I work with clients all over the world as a self-love guide, walking beside women, whispering to their hearts as I can, so that they can wake up to their own inner well-spring of love. 

Here’s the Truth that I know: If we don’t need external validation, we’re much more inclined to follow our hearts. And if we all followed that precious, holy space called our heart more often we would be kinder, more loving, and less afraid. 

Here are 5 ways to love yourself, today, right now, this week, whenever you’re ready to start. These are by no means the only ways. You get to decide the ways that work for you because you are a powerful and sovereign being with all the answers inside of you, but in case you need some help, a little information, may these 5 points be a guide. 

  1. Spend time with yourself, honestly, without distractions. This isn’t “treat yo’self” stuff like pedicures and massages (although those are definitely good forms of self-care and can be part of self-love). This could be meditation. This could just be sitting on your couch facing bravely whatever comes up when it’s quiet and you’re alone, and actually feeling it. You can’t fall in love with someone if you don’t spend time alone with them. Spend time alone with yourself. 
  2. Get really clear on what you want. Down to every last detail. You are worthy of whatever your heart desires. Spend the time to figure out what that is. You can do this as a grand whole, or you can do this for each little situation. What do you want when it comes to your love life? What do you want for dinner tonight? Get clear on all of it. You can’t get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going, the more details, the better. 
  3. Stay in your body. Embodiment is powerful. Our bodies are precious, sacred, and holy. For us to be present we must be able to stand powerfully and confidently in our own bodies. I have so much more to say about this (it’s an entire section in my book, maybe more), but this is the basis: stay in your body. Feel it. Be it. Revere it for the awesome treasure it is. 
  4. Use your voice. This can mean different things for different people. It could be singing or chanting. It could be standing up for yourself in a situation where you’ve been walked all over or disregarded. It could be giving someone a compliment or telling them you love them. Use your voice. It’s powerful and needed.
  5. Trust your instincts. Stop second guessing yourself. Don’t ask why you want what you want. You can trust yourself. It’s OK if you mess up. It’s OK if you don’t get it right. You’ll still have you. At some point, you have to take the leap of faith and Trust that heart of yours. Break up with the guy. Quit the job. Go travel to that place. Take the course. Share your heart. Change up your diet. Stop talking to that lady who always makes you feel inadequate. Give in to the pull. Let things fall away. Start small if you need to, but practice makes perfect and to practice trusting your True self, you’ve got to start. 

I’ve created an online program, revolutionize your life: 21-weeks to self-love, that was birthed out of this beautiful obsession with self-love, my personal journey, and my walking alongside clients. This program puts all of this experience with self-love into a comprehensive and intentional process that allows you to enter the sanctuary of your own heart. A place you have within you, always. A place that never judges, never punishes, and is never not there. 

If you are feeling the resonance with this self-love activation and you know that you want to start making self-love a priority, I invite you to check out the program information and see where it takes you. 

I’m offering the readers of the piece a special code: SAVE500, which will save you $500 when entered in the coupon code space during the check out process (valid for one week).  

Only Love, 

Clara 

What to Do When You Feel Out of Control

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I’ve been having one of those weeks where I’m feeling a little lost, a little out of control. I've been traveling for so long and now that I've finally got a significant amount of time in one place everything feels like it's going slow motion. Personally, there's been a slowing down. A refocusing. It's the feeling of a season change. Turning inward. It's melancholy, in a comforting way. 

In the greater world, there are so many things happening right now that feel out of control too. The flooding in Texas and the path of hurricane Irma. The earthquake centered in Mexico, of which the aftershocks woke me up in my bed in Guatemala last night (the date I’m writing this is 9/8/2017, just in case you're reading this later). The last two weeks I was visiting family in Montana and the wild fires left my clothes and hair smelling like a campfire for days. The smoke burning my lungs and darkening the sky.

To say all this in a way that lacks description but also encompasses the entirety I'm feeling is: It's a lot. A very easy time to fall into fear and depression. And when we feel like this, lost, overwhelmed and hopeless it can be really easy and comfortable to fall into the known mindsets of worry, scarcity, distrust, and lack. 

But, I made a decision a long time ago that I wanted to live a life from the other side of those constricting thought patterns.

I live a life that leaves room for the melancholy, hopelessness, and sadness but isn’t defined by them. I made a decision to be a person who Trusts. Even when it feels like I’m floating off into space without any anchor, I Trust that it’s what I need. To feel alone. To feel sad. All feelings are gifts, little guides, brining me home. 

Even when I feel like I’m spinning out of control, I am committed to releasing my grip even further, because who says spinning is bad anyway? Self-love is allowing the feelings, no judgment because we respect ourselves enough to know have feelings for a reason, to guide us towards what we need.  

I want to live in a world where qualities like trust, acceptance, joy, space, allowance, are the default. Where challenges are seen as learning experiences that sharpen our minds, strengthen our characters, and stretch our hearts. Where we see difficult emotions as a sign that we need to do the difficult work of slowing down, turning inward, and giving ourselves space. And how to do we make changes in the world? We “be the change we would like to see,” as Ghandi says.  

So in the midst of a challenge of feeling out of control, let’s not harden our shells, or tighten our grip, but let the change come. Let’s focus on what we CAN do, not what feels impossible. Let’s focus on what is being washed away and let go. Let’s realize that for all new seeds to germinate and bloom there must a period of sowing. 

So let the change come. 

Let the falling away happen. 

Hold the change that's happening like a delicate flower in the palm of your hand, with tenderness, with respect, with love, until it's ready to be released. 

You are always more than enough. I believe you. You can let whatever difficult change is happening to you right now, happen. You can let the world hold you. Soften into it. Blur around the edges. Be swept away. 

As we meet our challenges with love, allowance, and tenderness, we meet ourselves with the same qualities, and self-love changes our lives and we change the world. 

Body Love Realization

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All the rules are off. 

No more required kale. 

No more required vitamins. 

No more guilt because I didn’t exercise. 

No more obsessive thoughts about ‘needing’ yoga each day. 

No more lists in my phone about my new commitments (that only make me feel bad the next day when I fail to follow through)

No more rules about the way my body should fit into denim, spandex, and cloth

No more worrying about the fact that my skin isn’t flawlessly smooth

No more hiding my tears when they start to flow in public (or in private)

No more shame around the size of my arms 

No more looking at my face and wishing it was more symmetrical 

No more looking at my lips and wishing they were more full

No more not wearing bright colored yoga pants because my cellulite might show  

No more denying who I am right now

I am finally ready to give into the pull 

To get lost in the depths of my soul 

How can I go deeper? 

My heart has been whispering me secrets for so long,

leading me along so lovingly; so gently. 

How could I have not heard? 

How could I have not listened? 

Us humans are funny beings 

Heads down.

Obsessively involved in the upkeep of our own suffering

But the voice telling us to look up is there; always 

Softly reminding us with the joy bubbling up inside, if we would only pay attention NOW

Where is joy trying to bubble up? 

It calls our attention, humbly, with flowers blooming, with sun shining, with grasses waving, with arms outreaching, with rain falling, with dogs wagging their tails at us, with laughter 

The under current of magic and mystery that pervades every moment. Every thing. 

This voice lets me know that there has been no mistake. 

There is nothing to be done, to be accomplished, to be gotten 

There is nothing I need to do to be more me. 

I am me. 

What a blessing.