self care

Detoxifying, Self-Loving Foot Bath Practice

footbath.png

This self-care treatment can be anywhere and gives you all the benefits of an epsom salt bath even if you don’t have a bathtub or don’t want to bother with the whole body getting wet.

It’s also a wonderful practice for the changing of the seasons we are in as it will boost your immune system and make you feel super cozy! I try to do epsom salt baths or foot soaks at least three times a week.

The best time to do this is right before bed, but you can do it any time you need a little extra care.

PS - if you own a salon or spa - this would be a beautiful way to honor the health of your clients and their feet will feel so soft and fresh! Plus this foot bath will cost way less than the harmful chemicals your salon might currently be using.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2c plain epsom salts: transdermally delivers sulfur and magnesium (majority of people are deficient) and both of these minerals support your body's detoxification

  • 1/2c baking soda: alkalizes, absorbs heavy metals, exfoliates and soothes skin - creates silky water!

  • 2 drops doTERRA Peppermint (highest in the constituent menthol) for cleansing and boosting circulation

  • 5 drops doTERRA Zendocrine Blend - read how it supports detoxification here.

[click here to purchase your first kit of medicinal grade essential oils]

Directions:

  • Scrape dead skin from heels and dry skin brush bottoms and top of feet.

  • Mix ingredients into large bowl/basin and then add warm/hot water…

  • Soak feet for 20 min while you listen to calming music or a meditation.

  • Dry off of your footsies.

  • Bonus: Apply Correct X to the heels and cuticles (this natural healing ointment is incredible)

  • Finish with doTERRA natural body butter and put in cozy socks - preferably ones that go up to your knees for extra cozy affect.

  • Crawl into bed. You’ll get the best night sleep you have in awhile, I promise.


Revolutionary Lifestyle Podcast | Episode 4

In this episode Clara chats with Angela Glaz about all things Ayurvedic Living (ancient Indian medicine).

Find out more about Angela Glaz insta: @eka_yoga_ayurveda



Self Care: A Definition

selfcare.png

SELF CARE: A DEFINITION.

Self care = sovereignty. Sovereignty is defined as “supreme power or authority” or “a self-governing state”. Self care means you (and only you) are the ruler of your world.

Self care is taking the power back from social media, technology and other peoples’ demands on our time.

Self care is realizing we need to protect our own inner resources.

Self care is not allowing someone else’s ideas about what we need to look like affect our internal measure of worth.

Self care is not responding to messages, emails or texts that demand us to put ourselves on someone else’s timeline; responding all day instead of proactively spending our time intentionally building what we want to build, doing what we want to do.


Self care is making a stand to speak up from a place of love when we’ve been offended, downplayed or made to feel unimportant. Self care is to take up space even if it makes us super uncomfortable and we run the risk of not seeming “nice”.

Self care is respecting our limits + our boundaries, but also knowing that we’ve got to push the edges of our comfort zone if we want to keep life interesting + we want to keep growing.

Self care is allowing the paradox: we must be all-accepting and all-loving of ourselves AND ALSO expect so much more for ourselves.

Self care is my JAM!

If you feel like your self care game is lacking and you’re not sure how to go about rectifying it, book a self love clarify call with me. Book it here: https://form.jotform.co/72645293608867


I’m with you.

Winter Solstice Self Care Ritual

selfcareritual.png

I love thinking of living our lives in congruence with the seasons. Winter is a time for reflection, inward movement, rest and just ‘being.’

However, with the holidays in full swing sometimes this time of year can feel anything but restful.

If you’re searching for something to make you feel cherished and cared for.. give the gift of the following ritual to yourself.

If you want to learn more tips and tricks and hear about how you can join a 30 day cleanse + restore group process I invite you to register for the cleanse +restore 2019 online workshop on January 3rd, 2019 at 1pm MST.

Here’s the steps to your winter solstice self care ritual..

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com.

[and if you need a yoga mat, please choose an eco-friendly one. Here is a sweet guide to help you through the decision.]

Step 2: Dry Skin brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here.

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities.

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find out your dosha here.

For this step I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. Buy your CPTG oils here.

[Here’s a report from a consumer advocate group that found doTERRA’s to be the purest essential oils on the market.]

I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself + telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things.

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful.

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate. I love the Love Rising Podcast and the insight timer app.

When you’re ready to rise self care rituals like this show the universe you are ready to start to honor your body + your needs.

Take a picture of some part of this process and post instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. We’re all in this together!




You Are the Master of Your Mind

Untitled design (2).png
“The mind was made to bless.” - A Course in Miracles.



I got a message from an audience member of mine talking about her struggle with disordered eating.

She asked me why her mind was so irrational. Why when she knew she should stop restricting, she just couldn’t get the self-negating thoughts about her looks & how much/what she was eating, to go away.

She asked, "How come my mind is so irrational? When will these thoughts stop?"

The not so sexy answer is.. the thoughts won’t stop, but you are SO much more than your thoughts. And as you put your thoughts/feelings back in their place (in the backseat, not the driver’s seat)...they start to matter less & less.

The goal can never be to get the thoughts to go away or stop, the goal always have to be disengaging from the thoughts & identifying with the part of you that is soo much more. That space in your heart that is full of mystery & expansion & knowing.

Your mind/thoughts/feelings can be your servants. Not your master. Identifying with & remembering the master in you is the work.. as you do that the thoughts relax & go where they should, toward blessing the world around you.

Our minds were not made to be constantly coming up with the worst case scenario. But unfortunately most of us have put them in charge of our lives & that is WAY out of our mind’s job description, so that’s how it copes.

The worry & the fear. The mental anguish. The irrational thoughts. Guard constantly up. Always looking for the next blow.

Let it go. 
Let the part of you that knows come forward & lead. Those pesky little thoughts will go from your worst enemy to your best friend when released from their unwarranted responsibility of keeping you safe.

As we decide to stop identifying with our mind/thoughts/feelings we discover the master quietly waiting in the background, in the stillness of our own hearts.

Let go.
Get quiet.
Spend time with yourself.
I’m with you.

Do You Celebrate Yourself?

Untitled design (1).png

This past week I reached a personal business goal of mine that I have been putting a lot energy & intention towards for a very long time.

A lot of working on weekends, taking trips away from my family, not taking part in social events, later work nights, longer days, sacrificing the pleasure of now for the pleasure of the long term.. all culminating this month.

There is something so incredibly satisfying about setting a goal and accomplishing it.

The intention is set. The decision is made. The challenge is accepted. The work begins. Energy is channeled toward the desired outcome.

Sometimes a goal comes more easily than we expected. 

Most the time we take a few wrong turns on the way. We might go backwards for a bit. We might lose track of the end goal in the details of getting there. A lot of times we are required to readjust the goal in one way or another. Change our expectations. Make exceptions. 

But if we continue to keep moving forward and train our mind to latch on to only love, we will always, eventually, make it to where we are supposed to, in perfect time.

After we reach the goal, we feel accomplished, maybe even overjoyed.

It’s in that space that I am now.

In the past I would (and I think a lot of people tend to do this as well) immediately move on to the next “bigger” and “better” goal. Or find the reasons why the goal I reached wasn’t really such an accomplishment, and play it down. I would rain on my own parade by immediately demanding more from myself. Comparing myself to others who had reached more “impressive” goals; downplaying all the joy.

But now, I choose to stop in the midst of this celebration of myself.

I choose to really revel in the fulfillment.

I choose to congratulate and love on the people who ran with me and made it possible (I would never pretend that I reach my goals on my own). 

I choose to see myself and my people; victorious.

To be still and create space around the feeling of jubilant satisfaction of truly creating something meaningful, and get really, really familiar with this feeling. Because I plan on having a lot more of it.

Part of the reason people can get so downtrodden, ambivalent, and lukewarm when it comes to the goals they set for themselves is that they have never actually let themselves FEEL how good it feels to create. They don't celebrate themselves.

That is one of the MOST motivating feelings ever.

Brene Brown says that joy is the most vulnerable of emotions. And it IS! If you really let yourself be truly joyful, the threat of you getting blindsided is greater. The part of ourselves that is protecting us from judgement, pain, and disconnection might feel that joy is actually something that needs to be tempered.

So we end up hedging our joy with an edge of down play. We temper our sunny celebration with a hint of grey skepticism. It makes a weird kind of sense. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So, today I choose to really & deeply experience this win of mine.

I choose to celebrate.

I choose to remember what it feels like to feel really, really satisfied.

Are you with me?

 

 

A Self Care Ritual

selfcareritual.png

While I’m on my period I always find I need to take a little extra time for myself.

Our periods are such an amazing time to slow down, turn inward, and really harness our feminine power. In this day and age I think a lot women despise their periods. We get cramps, we’re moody and sensitive, and everything just seems harder. When I was on the pill I would purposefully skip my periods because they seemed like such a bother.

But now, I’ve realized how incredibly sacred cycling is. I’ve started to embrace this time of the month as the perfect time for reflection and deep self love. During our periods are when we are most spiritually astute and in tune. It’s when “the veil” between worlds is thinnest, so to speak. That’s why we get sensitive. We get “moody”, which is really just patronizing speak for being able to pick up on a lot of complex emotions and feelings. When we are in this ultra connected state we have to ‘do’ less and ‘be’ more.

Cramping, nausea, heat regulation issues, and the other physical symptoms of our periods, when extreme, can be a sign of hormonal imbalances as well as disconnection from our feminine side. In a way it’s “She” calling out for us to listen to Her.

A lot of hormonal imbalance comes from our bodies having a hard time detoxifying and processing synthetic hormones from birth control, artificial fragrances, and chemicals in our food that act similar to hormones. So if you have extremely painful cramping or other extreme symptoms, there are a lot of very successful natural ways to balance hormones. Reach out to me and we can get you set up on a natural path to healing. 

Even with well-balanced hormones and a good practice of listening to ourselves and self care, we can still get some light cramping, fatigue, headaches, etc. Our bodies are doing A LOT internally doing that time, so we need to give them a break. 

For me, the second day of my period always seems to be the day where my body really calls for some tenderness. So I’ve developed a self care ritual that makes me felt cared for, marks this special time of the month, and creates a sense of trust between myself and my body. It also supports detoxification of hormones and soothes any symptoms I might be having. 

 

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com. Make sure this something gentle. During our periods exercising should be smooth, flowing, and gentle. No hardcore workouts please.  

Step 2: Dry brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities. 

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find your dosha here.

For this step, I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself and telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things. 

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful. 

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate.

Do this and you’ll feel like a totally new person. I promise. 

**If you’d like to get some CPTG essential oils at 25% off their retail price, please contact me at clara@revolutionarylifestyle.com 

 

 

 

 

Shame is Not a Motivational Speaker

blog.png

t’s kinda crazy how we think using shame is going to motivate us into “staying in line.”

When you want someone else to do something for you.. do you “shame” them?

I hope not. When I’m asking a favor of someone or I want to motivate someone to do something I generally find something to compliment about them (authentically of course) or assure them how powerful/strong/smart/resilient they are.

It works so much better to treat people with kindness. 

So.. if we want ourselves to make a change, why don’t we “butter” ourselves up a bit?

Why don’t we assure ourselves how loved, loving and lovable we are?

Shame makes us shrink. It makes us scared, fearful, and downtrodden.

Love makes us blossom & expand.

When we speak #onlylove to ourselves we start to see the incredible amount of potential we have to create the changes we want to see in our lives and the world.

Shame is not a motivational speaker and you can never get more love through fear, threats, or misery.

Only Love creates more love.

So give up self-shaming right here and right now. I'm with you. 

Are you ready for a new way to deal with compulsive unhealthy eating? Check out the free training going on right now to discover my 3 step process for stopping unhealthy eating patterns through self-love, not self-shame. --> https://livetrainingnow.com/clara-wisner/free-training

The Myth of "Doing It All"

superwoman.png

Sometimes we feel like we should be able to do it all.

We have this sense that “everyone else” is doing more than we are;. That we’ll somehow “fall behind” if we don’t go a thousand miles a minute.

Better “keep up”!

We have this idea that we should be able to eat “clean” all the time, workout (hard) every day, take care of our families, be chronically sleep deprived and still function well, be successful, make lots of money, have lots of things, have awesome relationships with our parents & have close knit circle of friends... the list goes on.

No wonder we all feel so f*cking tired.

Of course we can’t do all that.

News flash! We can have EVERYTHING our hearts desire, but we’ve better take care of ourselves during the process of getting it, or else what’s the point?

The world needs the best version of you, you can be. The world needs your rested, cared for, & FULL self.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s one of the best things you can do for other people. Letting yourself rest, have downtime, and eat as much as you want, is a gift to yourself and the people around you most. 

When we don't allow yourself to dream, value your inner guidance system, pay attention to what your body is calling for, our relationships suffer. There is no doubt. Our relationships thrive when we are thriving. 

I’m so over women feeling like they have to wear all the hats. Feeling like their dreams require them to sacrifice. Feeling that they need to do all the things and look good doing it.

We don’t.

There will always be phases of intensity when we talk about building dreams, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to let yourself ENJOY every moment of it.

So go ahead.
Give into the pleasure of the moment.
Relish an extra hour in bed; I promise the world won’t collapse and you won’t get fired.
Eat another piece of pizza.

One thing I just did: mark a day off on your calendar as “a personal day” and do absolutely nothing else but recuperate & lounge.

What are you going to do to take care of yourself today?

What to do with Worry

worry.png

I heard a quote from Abraham Hicks the other day: “Worry is just putting yourself in the future without the resources you have right now.” 

As the ever-loving Universe would have it we’re always being offered lessons. The exact right information comes at the exact right moment when we’re ready to receive it. Hearing this statement was one of those synchronistic moments for me.  

I am a very anxious person by nature. My brain is on hyper alert all the time. I’m the type of person that wants to solve everything and everything done right now. Someone doesn’t text me back immediately? They’re probably dead. You don’t answer the phone? You’re dead in my mind. My husband leaves the house in a car. He’s probably going to die. 

I know how ridiculous this sounds (although I’m willing to bet a lot more people than you would think can relate to these thoughts pretty well). Luckily, with my spiritual practice and the effort I’ve put into the development of my higher self, these anxious, crazy thoughts don’t really get a hold on me at all anymore. I can watch them and let them go. 

But my anxiety does create more struggle in my life sometimes. I get very anxious about returning emails. I get anxious about not “taking advantage” of my time. I get anxious about if I’m being productive enough. I get anxious about planning things and making sure plans are carried out.The list goes on. So when I heard this quote about worrying being putting yourself in the future where you don’t have the resources you have right now it clicked. 

When we worry or get anxious about things that might or might not happen we aren’t giving ourselves any good options. We’re literally putting ourselves out in total pure potential land (the future) with no grounding presence of now. We don’t have our breath. We don’t have our feet on the ground. We don’t have our five senses. We don’t know what we’ll feel like, or how much sleep we might have get. 

So what do we do with worry? What do we do when our powerful little monkey minds just spin out on some awful scenario or tangent? 

We come back to now. We take a deep breath. We feel our feet on the ground. We engage our senses. 

We ask ourselves, “Is there something I can do about this situation right now?” 

Now, if you were worrying about whether or not you left the coffee maker on, you could technically do something about that. You could go back home and check the coffee maker. You could text your partner at home and ask them to check it. So if there does happen to be something you can do about worry subject. Go ahead and DO IT. 

However, if there is nothing you can do about the situation you are worrying about right now, then this is when you can start to engage presence and take your power back. You shift your focus. Focus on your sternum, or your heart, or somewhere in your physical body. Close your eyes and breathe into that place. Notice how the air feels on your skin. Taste. Smell. Be present. 

And just like that we’ve let go of worry and reclaimed our power, right now, in the present where we belong. 

This may seem very simple, and it is. But that doesn’t mean it should be discounted. The answer is more often than not..simple. It does take practice and discipline to focus our minds, so although this can work really well in the moment, it’s also something that can be more effective if you calm and focus your mind on a regular basis through a meditation or mindfulness practice of some sort. 

Peace be with you, my friends. 

Non-Toxic Living

sparklingwaterblog.png

If you saw my recent posts on social media you know I’ve deemed the month of May “non-toxic living” month. On instagram (@revolutionarylifestyle) and in my free facebook group (Self Love Community) I’ve been posting daily videos on how to detox your life and why you’d want to. All these tips are real life, practical things that I actually do. I’m also doing a pretty kick ass giveaway (free stuff!). Get all the details and follow along via facebook or instagram

 

Today on the blog I want to talk about non-toxic living and self love. We tend to separate the physical from the mental/emotional and separate the mental/emotional from the spiritual, but if you read my stuff, you know it’s kind of my thing to address all four of these aspects at the same time. I truly believe we can’t really talk about physical health without addressing mental and emotional health, and we can’t talk about mental and emotional health without talking about spiritual health. 

So what would using non toxic cleaning products have to do with our spiritual health, you wonder? 

Well… everything. 

 

We are incredibly intricate and unfathomably complicated beings. The way our cells function is affected by the vibrational environment our bodies are currently in. As I wrote about last week, we are not victims of our energetic environment, but we can take responsibility for giving our cells the easiest time of it. We also must understand that we are inextricably linked to the Earth and when we hurt or endanger the Earth we also hurt and endanger ourselves. 

When we shift into the paradigm of self-love we start to care deeply about what we put inside our bodies, what we put on the outside of our bodies, what we surround ourselves with, and the health of our precious Earth. The difference between selfishness and self-love is vast, and one of the most notable differences, is the fact that self-love has no limits and expands to include the entire Earth, whereas selfishness and materialism is limited and tends to hurt the Earth.  And this is how living a non toxic lifestyle, taking our own health into our hands, respecting the Earth, and self-love all tie together. 

 

There are variations when it comes to toxicity, as with all things. For example, red dye #40 is a known carcinogen and petroleum based substance, but 15 million pounds of it are used each year in our food. This is something we know for sure we should all be avoiding. But then there are things like artificial flavorings that can be perfectly harmless or toxic depending on what they are made from. Europe has banned 1,300 cosmetic chemicals and the US has banned 11. So there’s all sorts of opinions. There are variations in toxicity and we all have the responsibility to take on this process of learning about toxins and decide what we, at our particular phase of life and capacity, can prioritize. Choose your battles wisely. 

 

But.. a quote that I come back to again and again is, “How we do one thing is how we do all things.” 

I know that this quote can sound unfair, or unrealistic, but it can also be a relieving and simplifying idea to build your life around. 

When I allow my food to be toxic, my thoughts will become toxic, my emotions and my spiritual connection will be blocked. So why don’t I choose to leave out toxicity and focus on natural, whole, from the Earth, for the Earth, food (aka organic). Why don’t I decide to not support companies that make toxic cosmetic products and harm my mother Earth and create my own facial oils from certified pure therapeutic grade oils or buy products from companies that have similar values as me? Why don’t I buy the biodegradable, fragrance-free laundry and dishwashing soap so that there isn’t a disconnect between the way I treat my body and the way I treat the Earth? 

These are really small, little shifts, and in the grand scheme of things they may not make all that much of a difference when we talk about global impact. But how you do one thing is how you do all things, and when you treat your body well, you start to see your mental capacity for goodness expand. When your mental capacity for goodness expands, your emotions lighten up, and your purpose becomes more and more clear. 

So let’s all get on board with this non-toxic living month and start to detoxify our bodies, our minds, our feelings, and our spiritual connection. 

If you’re with me, comment below, join the facebook group, or follow along on instagram. Can’t wait to hear from you. 

Surrender and Ease: the Key to True Success

surrenderblog.png

Success and fulfillment are different, but they both require surrender. 

When we think of success we normally think of material things; a nice car, a big house, money, vacations, etc. But, when we think about fulfillment we normally think of something deeper. A job well done. A purpose met. A connection. Fulfillment is spiritual, where as success is more material. 

When we talk about either success or fulfillment we tend to refer to our profession or career. A career can definitely create success, but it also can bring a lot of fulfillment or un-fulfillment.

A lot of times when we talk about the success of our business ventures or careers, our health and wellness, or the fulfillment of our life's purpose we talk about all the “hard work” involved; all the struggle and pain we've had to endure or the time we had to “put in” to be where we are now. 

But right here; right now, I’m going to totally and completely disagree with this notion of necessary struggle; because in my life; I’ve always had the biggest breakthroughs, the most success and fulfillment when I let go; when I surrender. When I let things align. When I stop “trying” so damn hard all the time.

On some level we all tend to believe we don’t deserve good things to happen to us; that we need to or should be required to work super hard for all we desire.

But the truth is; the moment we focus on aligning with what feels good and let the rest go; is when true fulfillment happens.

THAT is when life gets good. 

You are good enough to have all you want.

You are deserving of all your desires.

You have permission to want what you want.

But don’t let the fact that you might not have it all right now make you play the victim.

The truth is you already have it all anyway. The truth is your true success and all the fulfillment you're looking for is already in your own heart. You've just got to re-member it. 

So I’m going to go totally against the grain and say that you will find true success and fulfillment when you let things be EASY.

When you find pleasure and joy in the work; not by banging your head against a wall and hustling until you squeeze the life out of your adrenals.

Life is meant to be fun, wild, and enjoyable.

Your work is your purpose; and that comes easily.

Stop the resistance. Make the choice. Stretch your heart open to fit whatever is happening inside of it.

Your only job is to breathe into whatever is happening right now; and appreciate it.

I’m with you.

3 Ways to Use Spring Energy to Your Advantage

Untitled design (3).png

Hey Lovely... 

Have you been feeling that ripe and fertile spring energy rushing around yet? 

I am such a huge fan of embracing our cyclical nature. The idea that there is a time to rest and a time to go; a time to be and a time to do, serves me very well to remind myself that all things happen in perfect time. 

A very tangible way we all experience cycles is through the seasons. Winter is a time for inward reflection; for hibernation and being more still. Fall is a time for shedding layers; slowing down. Summer is a great time for travel, for going out and doing. Spring is that sweet and precious time of year when we typically feel ourselves ripening. We feel the potential to burst forth. The proverbial little buds of our blossoms of summer are starting to form. It's an innocent time of year, and, personally I just love it. 

I love to take the energy that each season brings and use it to my advantage. Here's three ways we can use this fresh and ripe energy of spring to bring us more joy, connection, and peace to our lives. 

1. Spring Cleaning 

This isn't very original, I know. But there's a very energetic reason that this is a traditional thing to do in the spring time. Spring is a time of that "out with the old, in with the new" energy. It's a great time to purge old clothes, stuff, and re-organize your house, room, drawers, desk, whatever. 

My invitation for you on this tip is to set aside one full day to do a "spring cleaning" sometime in April. You could do a deep clean of your house apartment or you could focus on going through your closet or drawers and making some trips to goodwill. 

You'll feel lighter and ready to take on whatever comes your way. 

2. Set One New Health & Wellness Goal 

January 1st the typical time that people set new health and wellness goals, but I've always though March or April would be a much better time because of this fresh burst of energy most of us get. I love the idea of harnessing this energy and putting it into a positive place that builds momentum. 

My invitation for you is to set one simple, straightforward goal that contributes to you feeling like you're doing something nice for yourself this spring. This could be anything from committing to drink half your body weight in ounces of pure, filtered water each day to making sleep more of a priority. 

Here are few ideas of goals to set: 

  • read that self help book you've had sitting on your bed stand for months 
  • wake up 10 min earlier and spend 10 minutes contemplative silence or meditation (download my free guided self-love meditation
  • drink half your body weight in ounces of pure, filtered water
  • commit to having tea with a friend once a week 
  • take one Sunday a month completely off screens 
  • Try a new type of exercise class 

Bonus tip: One thing that always gets me extra excited about new goals is to buy something fun that goes along with it. If I'm going to try out a new type of exercise class maybe I'll buy a new workout outfit so I'm excited about going. If you're going to drink more water, buy yourself a fancy new hydroflask and some doTERRA wild orange essential oil (see the giveaway below to win some!) so you can have lovely flavored water with you at all time. 

3. Change Up Your Normal Routine 

This one can look a lot of different ways. The energy of spring is all about freshness and our daily routines can get a little stale through the end of winter. We can get kind of stuck in a rut. To use the energy of spring to our advantage we can use this new found rush of energy to do something a little different. 

Changing your normal routine could be as drastic as scheduling a long weekend vacation to some totally foreign place or as simple as taking a different way home from work. Just do something different. Personally, I love to take a quick weekend trip with my husband somewhere close, but different. Get a hotel in the next town over. Give yourself a gift of something adventurous like a hot air balloon ride or sky diving. Do something out of ordinary. 

Sending you lots of light and love and fresh energy on this spring! 


Spring Giveaway Time! 

wildorange.png

To honor the energy of spring I will be giving away 5 bottles of doTERRA Wild Orange essential oil. 

Can you feel the freshness?

Some of the perks of using wild orange essential oil are as follows: 

  • Use in an all-purpose spray to cleanse and purify surfaces.
  • Add a drop to your water every day for a burst of flavor and to promote overall health.*
  • Diffuse to uplift mood and energy levels and to freshen the air.
  • For an energizing boost, dispense one to two drops in the palm of your hand along with equal parts Peppermint and Frankincense. Rub palms together and inhale deeply from palms, then rub on the back of neck

Enter to win by filling out the form below... 

 
Name *
Name
Phone *
Phone
 

 

 

 

Letting Go of the Past and the Future to Enjoy the Present

Presence.png

"Start anew, again & again. Every moment of our lives we can start anew." - Pema

You don’t have to believe the story of yesterday.

The stories of our past have a certain momentum that can be challenging to bring to a halt. 

But... 

All it takes is awareness. 

A simple momentary choice to see right now differently. 

To know that every moment is chance to start again. 

Let’s choose a new story, one that we’re excited about & in love with, right now in the present moment. 

My work this week (or let’s be honest; the work of my life) has been in the vein of learning how to not know where the path leads exactly, but walk down it anyway. And to not make assumptions about that path because of past experiences. 

To not be super consumed in the place I’m going before I get there. Or the place I was just standing.

To stay open along the way and keep moving forward. 

To meet the people and experiences that cross my path with love and curiosity; not view them as obstacles in the way of where I’m going or plaster them with expectations. 

The way I’ve learned to ‘be’ in the world is to be kind of like a bulldozer. 

I see where I’m going and I just charge ahead. 

Single minded. 

I won't say it hasn't worked for me in some respects.  

I bless the lessons, gifts, and massive amount of drive it has given me. 

But I’m ready for a softer existence. 

I’m craving more flow. 

A way of being that is more like a river. 

No hurry. 

No rush. 

No urgency. 

Swift in parts. 

Slow and heavy in others. 

I always know where I’m going. 

I’ll get there as sure as the river leads to the ocean. 

Releasing control and trusting the process so that I can enjoy what happens along the way. 

Sometimes we need more drive. 

Sometimes we need more flow. 

Sometimes we need to remember that we are here to enjoy life. To thank the every day, ordinary moments. 

Right now I’m choosing the beauty of letting go, and allowing each moment to start afresh. 

What about you?

5 Self-Care Practices That Are Working For Me Right Now

blog5things.png

I've been feeling pretty dang good, so good that I thought I would share my nonnegotiable self-care practices that are working for me right now, because I feel like I'm on to something... ; ) 


1. Drinking warm lemon water with a pinch of sea salt right when I wake up


This is an oldie, but a goodie.

It is my go-to advice. If you're a client of mine, I know you've heard this. If you're a friend of mine, I know you've heard this. If you're anyone that has ever stood near me, you've probably hear this... 

Here's why... 
There are four pillars of physical health in my mind: 

  1. Hydration 
  2. Sleep 
  3. nutritious food 
  4. Stress management 

We live in the real world though and it’s not very likely that you’re going to be able to do all of these perfectly all of them time. 

But when we have these four pillars in mind we can make sure we focus on what we can, when one isn't doable. 

This means, that when I know I’m going to be extra stressed or not going to be able to get as much sleep as I know would be best for me, I’ll up the hydration and I’ll up the nutritious food. Or when I’m traveling and I know I won’t be able to eat as well as normal, I’ll make sure I’m doing my stress management and drinking lots of water. 


Starting your day off with a large glass of water is one way to make sure you’re always getting a head start on the hydration. If you do the added lemon (I do the juice from half a lemon) then it helps with detox as well as kick starts your digestion. If you do the warm water, it just makes it a little easier for your body to absorb. Drink the water before coffee and you’re golden. 


2. Writing down 3 things I’m grateful for every day


Gratitude is literally the antidote to almost everything. 

If we can bring ourselves back to gratitude for what we have, we keep our vibe high and our minds focused on all the good things in our lives. If you read my stuff, you know that I’m all for accepting and loving those “negative” emotions, but dwelling on the bad in your life never made anyone feel good. 

Gratitude sets you free. 

Makes you feel good. 

Even in the most trying situations. 


I have a special little notebook I carry around with me and every morning I start my day by writing down 3 things I’m grateful for. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as, “I am grateful for my pillow,” and other days it’s bigger, “I’m grateful for my purpose.” 

The other awesome side effect of actually writing them down and making a habit of writing them down, is that throughout your day you’re looking for things to be grateful for and this keeps your thoughts and mind expecting the best. 
You’re asking yourself throughout the day, “What can I be grateful for today?”

Magic. 



3. Dancing every evening. (hey! Dancing DEFINITELY counts as self-care) 


This is something that is relatively new and seems kind of comical to actually have on my “to do” list. But here’s why I made it a nonnegotiable. 

First off, we all need more fun and play in our lives and dancing is freaking fun for me. It ALWAYS cheers me up. 

The second reason for my new dancing obsession is that I found I was getting really stuck in my head all day. All our professional work these days is very mental, cerebral, and that can make us disregard our bodies which leads to feelings of distraction, spacey-ness, feelings of disconnection and a decrease in our ability to be aroused and have sexual desire.


Dancing gives me that playful feeling and allows me to connect back into my body, allowing me to be more sexual, sensual and experience more pleasure. All good things! 



4. Check-Ins on the New Moon and on the Full Moon


I love the idea of cycles. 

We are cyclical beings. Especially as women. 

We need to remember that there is a time for planning; a time for resting and recuperating; and a time for doing.

 Our society tends to be very productivity and “doing” oriented and it’s not serving us well. People are stressed out, experiencing high levels of depression and anxiety, dis-ease. 

Connecting into our cyclical nature allows us to connect back in to nature, cycles, and gives us permission and regular intervals to reevaluate and take inventory and tap into what we need. 

The new moon ritual or check in is based around planting new seeds and intentions for the moon cycle to come. It’s a time for setting goals, getting clear about what I want, and how I am going to get it. 

The full moon ritual or check in is based around evaluation and shedding what doesn’t serve. It’s a time to be honest with ourselves about what is and isn’t working and create the space to allow what is not working to fall away and make space for something new. 

These new moon and full moon “rituals” typically are just an hour or so in the evening of the day of new moon and the day of the full moon.

It goes like this: My husband and I gather, put on some nice relaxing music, light a candle and a bundle of sage, and go through our check-in worksheets (linked below). 

We simply discuss and share what we wrote. Nothing more than that. 

This has also had a great unexpected side effect of providing time for my husband and I to connect on the state of our relationship and communicate on deeper levels than we’re normally prompted to do in every day life.

Life can get so “go, go, go” that a month can easily go by without us checking in with our families and our loved ones. These rituals have allowed us to carve out that time to check in with ourselves and each other. Priceless. 

Download my New Moon and Full Moon Ritual worksheets here


5. Using Essential Oils throughout the day


So essential oils are becoming a deep, deep love of mine, and you'll definitely be hearing a lot more about them. 

They have the ability to change your mood in an instant. They have the ability to change the entire feel of a room. 


I’ve started using them throughout my day in so many ways and they’ve literally changed so much about how I experience frustration, exhaustion, food cravings, mediation, sickness.. the list goes on. 

To keep it as brief as possible, here’s my typical daily essential oils routine: 

  • wake up, put water in the diffuser with wild orange and peppermint (hello bright shiny morning vibes!) 
  • during my morning meditation practice I’ll use rose, jasmine, or frankincense to ground me and clear my chakras. 
  • Apply the hormone balancing Clary Calm blend to my lower abdomen to keep hormones balanced and healthy throughout stressful days. 
  • Use passion blend throughout the workday when I’m feeling uninspired or sluggish. 
  • Diffuse balance, serenity, citrus bliss, elevation blend (all sorts! I can’t really say exactly what I use) throughout the day in my office to keep me feeling like I’m in a spa… ; ) 
  • Use on guard when I’m sick, imortelle on my face for anti-aging benefits, rosemary in my shampoo, deep blue with sore muscles, breathe when I do yoga.. Ok this is just crazy, but you get the point. It’s ALL THE TIME.
  • 30 min before bed I always start the bedroom diffuser with something relaxing like lavender and cedar wood or roman chamomile. 


**Interested in getting some medicinal grade essential oils? I am an essential oils educator and wellness advocate with doTERRA essential oils and would love to chat with you about how to use oils to address areas of your life where you need some self-care. Email me at revolutionaryhelpdesk@gmail.com to schedule a phone call. 

Ok, so those are 5 self-care practices that are working for me right now...

Now let me know, what's working for you? 

2018 Blessing & Year End Inventory Worksheet

NewYear2018Blog.png

New Year 2018 Blessing

I hope you allow yourself to change your mind 

    as many times as you need to

I hope you go forth and do before you are completely ready

    because nothing ever happens as you think it should

I hope you feel the magic in your bones

    and use it with whimsy 

I hope you listen to the secrets your blood whispers to you

   and learn to trust your gut 

I hope you laugh too loud 

   because the world needs more unexpected laughter

I hope you dance 

   because your body needs more freedom 

I hope you know that you are supported always 

   even when (and especially when) you feel all alone

I hope you keep going into your heart because

   There is nothing that is not heaven when the knots around your heart loosen 

(wanna print this blessing for your fridge? Get printable version here

 

If you're wondering how to make the most of the new year without doing the dreaded "New Years Resolution" I'm giving you the process I personally go through instead in the form of a worksheet. This worksheet is a series of 6 questions that will guide you through taking an inventory of the past year and reflecting on what has worked and what hasn't worked so that you can move into 2018 in an intentional and care-full way. 

By going through these simple 6 questions you'll end up with ONE WORD that will encompass the feelings you would like to cultivate in 2018. You can come back to this word throughout 2018 and use it to come back to your center, your desired feelings, and your intention. 

Only Love, 

 

Clara 

The Difference Between Selfishness & Self-Love

selflovevsselfishness.png

This week I had an email exchange with a client of mine that I worked with back in the “old days” when I was just offering nutrition advice and food-as-medicine coaching. She had reached out to send me a little Christmas update on her health and life, but also to see how my travels were going. 

(I LOVE my clients, they are seriously the best). 

In this email she wrote, “How is the theme for your book starting to take shape? I hope that it has something to do with foods, cultures, and/or longevity of life in certain environments.  I would be disappointed in a self-love book though since I have to say that I try to keep myself focused on doing for others. Getting all wrapped up in myself is never good for me.“ 

I’m not sure everyone knows this, but my book is absolutely about self-love practice. I did for awhile think I was going to write a type of cookbook, but as my own healing and thoughts progressed I shifted my perspective. I have consistently experienced that healing isn’t as much about food as it is about our attitude toward life. Having a heavy dose of self-respect and compassion as an aspect of that attitude is the MOST important part of True Healing. 

That being said, I think there is an idea (although I believe this idea is dying out) that self-love and selfishness are the same thing. There could be nothing further from the truth. Through this email exchange, however, I’ve realized I need to address the difference between these two concepts clearly and concisely if I’m going to continue to proselytize Self-Love. 

So here are the definitions of “selfishness” and “Self-Love”, as defined by google. 

Selfishness: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

Self-Love: regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

Ok, those give us some idea of the difference, but let me tease them out a bit. 

My belief, is that true Self-Love is a form of Universal Love. It’s tapping into that Love that is bigger and broader than anything we can imagine and allowing ourselves to be a conduit for that Love. I believe that we can never truly serve others unless we live from a place of an overflowing heart. We will never be in a state of overflow if our focus is outwards all the time. All outward energy and no inward energy makes us tends towards people-pleasing, indulging, lack of boundaries, and general disharmony within ourselves. 

Self-Love isn't getting wrapped up in ourselves, our “problems” or our egoic achievements, this is what I would call “selfishness.” Developing Self-Love means developing an unconditional love for ourselves so that we see, each moment, that we are a divine and holy channel for a Bigger Love. 

If we live our lives thinking that we don’t deserve our own Love, we are denying that we are Divine Love and we restrict our ability to channel it. By looking only outward for opportunities to “serve” and denying our opportunity to serve our Highest Self, we constrict the channel within us that brings Divine Love to the world through us

When we run ourselves ragged, and live from a place of lack and overwhelm, we will never be able to feel completely WHOLE and HOLY. I’ve seen it over and over again with my clients and very dramatically in myself, that when we focus on loving ourselves unconditionally, we heal ourselves AND the others around us, without effort. I'm being healed by offering these perspectives into the world, and in this way, my Self-Love, is feeding Bigger Love. 

 

How to be a Grown Ass Woman

growup.png

One of my friends said to me this week, "I feel like our world is in dire need of more grown ass people."

And it got me thinking... 

I would define a "grown ass person" as follows: 
People who say what they mean. People who take real responsibility for their actions, words and the effects those actions and words have on others. Not from a place is self-defacement or berating themselves for screwing up if they do, but from a genuine desire to grow and develop and expand themselves. 

Like a real grown up. 

I'm a firm believer in treating people as if they are mature, grown-ups who, when given the correct information, can weigh the pros and cons of any certain situation, and make their own educated decisions. 

I always choose mutual respect as my default baseline interaction with anyone I come in contact with. If someone shows me that they don't reciprocate this mutual respect I can always adjust my behavior accordingly, but, for me, it always seems to work out better to give people the 'adult benefit of the doubt.'

I barely ever have experiences with bad or rude customer service. 

It's rare for me to have someone road-rage at me. 

I sign up pretty much every potential coaching client I get on a phone call with that I would like to work with.

And my track record for friendly and lovely conversations with strangers is pretty much 100%. 

I would say most the people I encounter in my life, are decent, grown-ups. 


The expectations we go into an interaction with another person with determine a huge portion of what we get in return. If we expect people to be stupid, difficult, and mean, they will most likely be that. If we expect people to hate us and treat us like shit, they probably will. 

But... the same goes for the opposite. 
If we’re honest, real and vulnerable, people will most likely be honest, real and vulnerable with us.
If we respect people and their ability to make your own choices, they will do the same for us.
If I pay my bills right away, it’s more likely my clients will pay their invoices right away.

There is a certain reciprocity that happens in every element of interaction with another person; en energetic exchange that people read off you and mirror back to you.

I think sometimes we associate being an “adult” with chronological age like somehow we just become an adult as a result of an accumulation of years. But to really “grow up” we have to fully participate in the process of learning, dealing with consequences of our actions, learning about ourselves, deciding what we value and how we want to show up, and then actually acting on those values.


I want to live in a world where the people around me act like grown ass humans, who know who they are and what they want, and make trade-offs for upholding those values. And as I let this belief and expectation be seen, I will get more of exactly that.

I am not blind. I know there is a lot of childish rhetoric going around in the media, news, and the general conversation, but I truly believe that we have to start expecting more of people. We have fallen into the expectation that people will be polarizing, combative, and unreasonable. But the truth is, we have great abilities, in ourselves, to change this, and seeing and treating other people like grown-ups is a big part of making this shift to a more reasonable world.


So let’s all treat each other with love and like the autonomous, sovereign beings, we are. Let's expect people to handle themselves gracefully and fairly, and see what happens.

What I Know for Sure

Iknowforsure.png

1. I am Supported

I know that we live in a benevolent universe. I know that every single thing that happens to you, to me, to everyone is part of something that is supporting us through a journey of learning to love more deeply, more comprehensively, and more totally. 

I know shitty things happen. I know painful things happen. I know experiences and people can be unfair, overwhelming, and seemingly hopeless. But I also know that when we feel the burn of hurt, it’s the exact opportunity to give in, to crack open, to say, “I don’t know the answers,” and let ourselves be guided by this Universal support. It’s simple, but not always easy. 

2. Self-Love is the Always the Answer

Out of every single person in the world, I am the only one who knows what it feels like to be me.  I am the only person who hears how I hear, who sees how I see, who loves the way I love, who experiences sadness in my way, who understands joy the way I’m meant to. I am, was and will be, with myself. It’s the one thing I can always guarantee. If I don’t love me, I’m in a very difficult situation. 

When we put our happiness, worthiness, or valuation in someone or something else, we are saying something else matters more than our own sovereignty. When we say to ourselves consciously or unconsciously, “For me to be happy, I need him to love me,” or “I’ll really be myself when I lose these last 10 pounds,” we are literally saying someone or something else has control over how much we are worth, how much we deserve, and how much we have. 

It doesn’t matter how much love you get from other people. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like or how many pretty, awesome, expensive things you have. If you don’t love yourself, it’s all just a guise, a false front. Self-love, loving ourselves honestly and fully, is the key to having a fulfilling life. It’s the key to everything I care about and want to care about. 

3. I am Responsible for EVERYTHING that Happens to Me

(See last week’s blog post about the differences between responsibility, fault, and blame for more clarification.)

This is the most empowering statement I can think of. Living in this space is the space where miracles happen. It is where we take control of our lives, our fates, and our happiness. 

People always rally against this idea though.They want to say, “but what about when my husband cheated on me?” or “what about when my dad died in a car wreck?” Yes, these awful things happen, and they hurt and they are not your fault. But you do get to decide what you do with it. You do get to decide how you react. You do get to decide how you see what’s left after the bomb drops. 

4. Where There is Fear There is Power (or Real Vulnerability Makes Us Invulnerable)

This will be it’s own blog post someday I’m sure. But I know that true power lies in being exactly who you are. Being exactly who you are means no hiding, no pretending, and no covering up. The paradox is that only when we become completely vulnerable, do we become invulnerable because there is nothing else to figure out. Every place we feel fear it’s because there is a part of ourselves we haven’t totally integrated. As we become a fully integrated, self-realized human being, we realize we held the power all along. 

 

We are bigger, braver and kinder than we could ever imagine. Remember that. 

 

Only Love, 

 

Clara 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blame, Fault & Responsibility

blogpost.png

This past week I listened to Mark Manson's book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck," and this book is GOOOOOODDDD. Read it. Listen to it. You won't be sorry, especially if you're struggling with something that you're not quite sure how to move through. 

One of the concepts that created an "aha moment" for me was the distinction he made between Blame, Responsibility, and Fault. I've known for a long time that taking responsibility for our lives and our experiences is THE cornerstone of personal development. It's the lesson we have to learn over and over again. But it always feels a little insensitive to tell someone who has just had something incredibly traumatic happen to them or has a big painful mess in their life their dealing with that they need to "take responsibility". It just always seems a little asshole-y, and I don't want to be an asshole. 

I'm almost always for 'telling it like it is' with compassion. I'm not afraid to make people uncomfortable by starting confrontational conversations that need to be had. I will never enable a friend's or client's old patterns with my words. However, telling someone who's dog just died that they need to take responsibility, just doesn't seem cool or feel good. 

I'm dealing with something personally where I am in a lot of pain because of the actions of another person. (sorry to be vague, I just don't feel quite healed enough to share the details) For all intents and purposes, this action that hurt me was taken by someone else and totally blindsided me. I think any interaction where two parties are involved, there is always the "it takes two to tango" aspect, but I can honestly say that I feel pretty innocent. 

So... taking responsibility for the hurt, pain, anger, sadness, disappointment, etc has been really difficult for me, because I feel like the victim. On a few levels, I am the victim, but I also know a victim-mentality never helped anyone. So this distinction between blame, fault, and responsibility really helped me work through that victim mentality and come to a more productive and healing outcome. 

So here's the distinctions: 

Blame

In a situation where someone or multiple someones is/are hurt, who is to blame is a valid question. It is totally fair to blame someone/something other than yourself if you've been hurt. The example I'll use is your boyfriend cheating on you. If your boyfriend cheats on you, the pain you feel from that breach of trust is very real and would not have been there had your boyfriend not cheated on you. This pain can absolutely be blamed on him. Ok, before you feel justified in your blaming and naming, read on. 


Fault

The main thing we need to understand is that fault is not always linked to responsibility. In our society, we tend to think fault equals responsibility, and sometimes it absolutely does. If you hit someone with your car, it's probably your fault. However, if we stay with this example of the cheating boyfriend, it is not your fault your boyfriend cheated on you. You could have been having arguments, you could not have gotten along with his friends, whatever, none of that makes it your fault. He took the action and cheated. That could never be your fault. Again, keep reading though...  



Responsibility

This is something you always, always have. There are no other options. We are the only ones that live in our bodies and are the only ones living our lives, so we always have responsibility for the way we react no matter who is at fault or who is to blame. Again with the cheating example, your boyfriend can be blamed for your pain, it is his fault that your relationship is blown up, however, it is still your responsibility to decide what to do with all this. You could see it as an impetus for change in your relationship, maybe it's a gift letting you know he is an asshole before you married him, or maybe it's an opportunity to look at yourself and how you act in your relationships. 

Taking responsibility for EVERYTHING is the only option for an empowered life, but that most certainly doesn't mean you have to take on blame or fault yourself. 

Want help getting clear on how to take responsibility for your life without feeling guilty or ashamed? 

I have 10 slots open for my 30min $20 Introductory Self-Love Sessions this week and next week. Request yours by filling out this form (first come, first serve).

The Healing Power of Anger

healingpowerofanger.png

As a lot of women and men out there this week I’m sure, I’ve been thinking a lot about the #metoo phenomenon. The sheer amount of social media posts from friends, family members, online influencers, etc who have posted this message of solidarity against the objectification of women, doesn’t exactly surprise me but it has definitely required me to sit with some unpleasant emotions of sadness, outrage, hopelessness and anger. 

When our world is swept up into a movement like this there are always so many voices, wise and unwise, true and untrue, so many subtleties that go unaddressed or are spoken about to the point nonsense. I would never want to assume I understand or know more than I do about the uniqueness of every woman’s deeply personal experience of degradation or injustice. 

But, there are some things I do know for sure: I know that I have personally, on many levels, been harassed, exploited, and used by men. I know that I feel and carry with me the unspeakable wounds inflicted on my precious body and my sisters’ bodies and minds every day consciously and unconsciously. I know that when we humans hurt each other we are not just hurting the other person, we are hurting ourselves. We cannot give without receiving, and we cannot hurt without being hurt. I know that women have been raped, abused and mistreated for lifetimes and that this weighs on each and every one of our souls. 

I also know that to truly heal we must brave the sea of despair. We must look at the Truth of the abuse square in the face, and step into the darkness beyond it. That is why, I know for sure that outrage is part of the healing process. I know that for us to truly heal, as a society and as individuals, we must allow the cleansing power of our anger to wash over us, and give us the inner light to navigate the unknown territory of forgiveness. 

Anger reminds us of the Truth of our worth. To recover from being violated, personally and collectively, we must use the alchemical fire of anger to transform the hurt and pain into power. We use anger to realize and take action towards reclaiming our power, without apology. It gives us the power to sail on that sea of hopeless and trust that there is another shore, a better shore. If you feel sad, shocked, abused, mistreated, properly channeled outrage is the power that moves you through. 

As Bethany Webster said so perfectly: “Do what so few dare to do: Give your anger a safe, empathic space to be fully, completely felt.  Harness it, listen to it. Anger has so many gifts. Not indiscriminate, projected anger, but the energy of outrage, felt and placed where it truly belongs. Collective female outrage is a nectar that this world needs.” 

So be brave. Feel the anger. This is what healing feels like.