self love blog

Be The Change

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Ghandi said, “Be the change you would like to see in the world.”

These words can almost be cliche now, but let’s really think about the deep, deep wisdom they hold.


I am feeling more and more convicted as I watch and observe the world around me that I MUST, with my actions, demonstrate what I would most like to see.


So many others have said it in different ways…

Glennon Doyle Melton said: "It doesn't matter what you say you think, it matters what we do.”


Don't know who said: "Practice what you preach." "Lead by example" "When we heal ourselves we heal the world." “Empowered people, empower people.” and on and on.
Just because it's been said before doesn't mean it shouldn't be said again.

There is something in me pushing up old stories, old patterns, old bullshit for me and I need the reminder to move inward.


The reminder to be honest with myself. And make sure that I am demonstrating what I would most like to see in the world, which is forever: More forgiveness. More understanding. More Love. More freedom.


It starts with me.

It starts with us: The gentle. The forgiving. The humble. The ones who know the darkness in the world is only a reflection of the darkness we harbor toward ourselves. When I can't forgive someone it's because I am not forgiving a part of myself. When there is judgement, there is contraction and love cannot flow unimpeded.

And love is the only thing that heals.


Real change comes when we give up the game of right and wrong. When we lay down our need to be validated and fall into each other's arms and know we are the same.


Come home all my parts. All my broken and haggard.

Come scream and cry and rage TOGETHER. Let us realize we are the fire of transformation.

Come re-member the love that flows through us. Come re-member who we are.

Come be forgiven.

Come have a seat at my table.

Come help me build a world where the collective pain is not fought against (no more separation) but accepted and only then, transcended.


Allow yourself to be still today and ask yourself what you really want to see in this world and go out and demonstrate just that.

If you feel the call to be guided in a mindfulness practice I have some you can download in my offerings here: https://www.clarawisner.com/meditations


The Definition of Multi-Passionate

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Do you feel like you need more focus in your life? Like you need to stop being so “all over the place”?

I used to feel something akin to shame when it came to all my interests, all my starts and stops, the way I would be SO into something and then totally loose interest soon afterwards.

I’ve been known to go DEEP into a diet; a philosophy, a spiritual practice; read all the books, research it all, talk about it non stop, get everyone to do it with me; only to move on to the next thing a few weeks later. I used to think there was something wrong with me.

But now.. I LOVE this aspect of myself. I love how I collect knowledge, practices, letters after my name, healing modalities, knowledge on random facts about the human body.. I take exactly what I need and then exactly when I’m ready, move on to what excites me next.

I am maybe one of the fastest processors you’ve ever met. I always to with my gut. And now I totally trust in my “learn as I go” process.

If you’ve been following along; you know that I write, I coach, I mentor, I educate about + sell essential oils with dōTERRA, I’m a podcaster.. and now... a real estate investor.

This actually isn’t totally new; my husband and I have been dabbling in real estate for over 5 years. But we’ve recently completed a big project converting a couple houses in Missoula, MT into Airbnbs and long term rental units.


If I hadn’t let myself be who I am and be interested in growing wealth and expanding influence, or if I was worried that being a “landlord” didn’t fit into my health and wellness profile; I wouldn’t have gotten this amazing opportunity to use my creativity to build out these beautiful spaces.


When you play to your strengths, believe in your innate natural talents, and trust the pull of your heart; you’ll go far.

Be more like you, everyday, no matter if it makes sense or not; it’s the right direction.


This is my story; of always choosing to let myself dream big and create what my soul desires. Check out the instagram account @sanctuarymt to follow along with this new(ish) venture of my husband and I, and to even book your stay...

CHECK OUT THE LISTINGS

MISSOULA, MT:

Maida Vale - Upper | https://abnb.me/utDVsV9zTX
Maida Vale - Lower | https://abnb.me/ag6OERnEsX

Orange Street Apartments- Upper | https://abnb.me/Cus64IYDsX

Orange Street Apartments - Lower | https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/36813130


WHITEHALL, MT

The Guest Space | https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/32287797

The Loft Apartment | https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/32290703

Ambition is Boring

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Here’s a mindset shift for you: Ambition is boring.

I’ll elaborate, of course.


Ambition is this idea that if we know what we want, how to get it ...if we just put our minds to it.. we can “make” it happen, no matter what it costs us.

That’s a boring; nose-to-grind-stone; patriarchal; old, story.

I’m done with the ego-driven; “hustle” and “productivity equals worth” paradigm. This idea that our success in life has ANYTHING to do with the quality of person we are.

You are worthy, no matter what type of car you drive or position at work you hold or how lazy or hard-working you are.

The seed of truth in this old paradigm is that you must DECIDE to let yourself want to what you want. Free will means you get to choose where you place your focus. But, what I’ve found, is that being super attached to a situation having a specific outcome leaves no room for things like wonder; delight; magic. Plus, it can create a whole lot of suffering when things don’t go as planned [they never do].

Life is a conversation.

it’s a give-take between you and the wonderful world. You’ll NEVER know what the *best* outcome could be. And by thinking you do; you shut down all creativity and openness. You forget to enjoy what is going on RIGHT NOW.

A true life’s work shouldn’t be driven by the sterilized, unforgiving drive of ambition. That’s a recipe for burnout and a life void of flow.

A true life’s work should morph and shift and be non linear.. but something you show up for each day with an intention to stay open to the highest good and the highest possibility.

So go out there and do what you love and stay open to it happening in a way that’s better than you could have ever imagined.

I’m with you.

What to do with Worry

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Are you a worrier? 

Do you find yourself posing hypothetical situations of doom and gloom in your head all day long? 

Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you find yourself thinking about the future in a way that takes away from your present tense experience and brings down your overall “vibe” more often than you’d like?

I teach classes about health and wellness all over the world and the most common thing people tell me they suffer from is…. anxiety, which is really just another name for worry. 


Sometimes we feel like worrying is a necessary part of life. If we didn’t worry, how would we prepare ourselves for all the possible terrible outcomes of any given situation? 

If we didn’t worry, we might get caught “off guard”.. which would be the worst, right?

I’ll let you in on a little secret, worrying steals our joy. In fact, I am going to argue that worry is actually a form of self harm.

We worry when something good is happening. We worry when something bad is happening. We worry when nothing is happening. We take on other people’s worry. And without intentionally choosing to focus on what is going well, over and over again, we are literally putting ourselves in a position where we could spend our lives not enjoying anything to its fullest, which would be a complete and utter shame. 

Research has found we tend to think “good” things happening to us will make us happier than they actually do and that “bad” things happening to us will make us sadder than they actually do. This is to say; it truly is all about our perspective and how we see the world. Not about what actually happens to us.


Ok, so are you ready to intentionally choose a new perspective the next time you worry or experience anxiety? 

Are you willing to make your feelings of worry or anxiety be the alert in your own mind that it is time to choose a new thought? 

Here’s a practice that I find very useful when I’m dealing with worry or anxiety: 

  • Notice yourself worrying about something. 

  • Let go of the worry-thoughts, shifting your focus away from them

  • Wonder: What positive new thing is trying to come into being? 

  • Notice a body feeling (not a thought or an idea) of where that positive new thing is trying to come through. 

  • Open your focus to feel that body feeling deeply.

  • Let yourself feel it deeply for as long as you possibly can

  • Later, you will get an actual idea of how this new positive thing is trying to come through.

How this works in practice: 

  • I’m walking down the street on a Saturday afternoon. I pass a clothing store where I have bought some fabulous pieces of clothing over the years. About fifteen seconds later I notice some worrying thoughts about money. Specifically, the worry-thoughts are about whether we have enough money to do all the marketing for business I’m planning on doing. 

  • I notice the worry-thoughts and let them go, just dropping them mid-thought without pursuing them. (Meditation helps with this aspect, as it trains you to see your thoughts but not following them.)

  • I wonder what positive thought is trying to come through. 

  • I feel a pleasant sensation in my throat. 

  • As I walk along, I let myself feel it thoroughly, savoring the pleasant sensation. 

  • A few minutes later, getting into my car, the insight occurs to me that seeing the clothes in the window triggered a wave of guilt about the level of abundance my husband and I enjoy, compared with other members of our family. Seeing the clothing also sparked a feeling of how much I love and appreciate my husband, and how much he doesn’t balk or give me criticism for my love of beautiful material things. I sit in my car for a few moments before turning on the engine, letting myself enjoy the feelings of how much I love and appreciate my husband, and how much I enjoy the prosperity we’ve created in our lives. I realize there is not physical object that could express those feelings. They exist in the nonmaterial world, in the feeling of flowing connection between us. 

  • I pick up my phone and call Sean. He’s out doing errands too, and it turns out he’s two blocks away from where I’m sitting in the car. I tell him the sequence I just experienced from the glance in the window to the worry-thoughts to the delicious moment of letting myself feel the overflow of love and appreciation for him. I say, “Let’s make sure we take more time to celebrate what we have.” 

  • He agrees and I head home.

  • I create more good feelings, feelings of overflow, abundance, and gratitude, RIGHT NOW, and not only that, I created these feelings because of the worry-thoughts. Because they were the perfect impetus to remind myself how much I have. I used the worry-thoughts as a jumping off point.

Self Care: A Definition

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SELF CARE: A DEFINITION.

Self care = sovereignty. Sovereignty is defined as “supreme power or authority” or “a self-governing state”. Self care means you (and only you) are the ruler of your world.

Self care is taking the power back from social media, technology and other peoples’ demands on our time.

Self care is realizing we need to protect our own inner resources.

Self care is not allowing someone else’s ideas about what we need to look like affect our internal measure of worth.

Self care is not responding to messages, emails or texts that demand us to put ourselves on someone else’s timeline; responding all day instead of proactively spending our time intentionally building what we want to build, doing what we want to do.


Self care is making a stand to speak up from a place of love when we’ve been offended, downplayed or made to feel unimportant. Self care is to take up space even if it makes us super uncomfortable and we run the risk of not seeming “nice”.

Self care is respecting our limits + our boundaries, but also knowing that we’ve got to push the edges of our comfort zone if we want to keep life interesting + we want to keep growing.

Self care is allowing the paradox: we must be all-accepting and all-loving of ourselves AND ALSO expect so much more for ourselves.

Self care is my JAM!

If you feel like your self care game is lacking and you’re not sure how to go about rectifying it, book a self love clarify call with me. Book it here: https://form.jotform.co/72645293608867


I’m with you.

What Surrender Actually Looks Like...

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THE REAL MEANING OF SURRENDER
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Have you ever felt like you wanted to “give up”?
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Have you ever had a goal? A goal that you really, really, really wanted but the time was closing in + it looked like you wouldn’t reach that goal?
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Have you ever felt like you failed?
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I have. I have “failed” so many times, I could never go through them all in this little Instagram caption.
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I have failed in ways that would make you put your hand to your heart + cock your head + say “awwwww.. 😭😭.” I have failed in ways that would make your heart ache.
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But this is where surrender comes in.
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When we have an idea about what you really, really want + we think we understand how to get there + then it becomes apparent that the way we thought we would get there will not work; we can call that failure.
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Or.
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We can surrender.
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Surrender to the bigger plan.
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Surrender to the guidance being offered to us every moment.
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Surrender the attachment to “our way”.. + trust that there is another more beautiful way, if only we let go.
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“Letting go” + “surrendering” doesn’t mean to “give up”, in fact, I’ve done some of my hardest, most difficult work only after I’ve surrendered my ideas about the way things “SHOULD LOOK” or “SHOULD BE.”
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When you truly surrender your path + your single perception of the what you think would be the greatest outcome then you O P E N yourself up to MORE possibilities. The things you could do in the moment expand. You are giving yourself more options.
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Surrendering doesn’t mean stopping + doing nothing + acquiescing to what’s happening.. it means asking “I believe in miracles.. so if there was ONE MORE THING I could do.. what would that be?”
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And then letting go of the idea that you know the best way.
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Surrender today, my loves, AND keep going for what you want.
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I’m with you. 💗




You are Gold, Baby. Solid Gold.

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Myth: I am not good enough.

Magic: I am a magnificent being in the process of becoming more magnificent.

This empowering truth runs through all the world’s great traditions. If you study what the founders + mystics of those traditions taught, you will find that they highlight our innate worth rather than reinforce our weakness. They celebrate our inner fire rather than focus on the threat of hell fire.

The truth is, at your core, you are GOLD. Anything you’ve done, failed at, built stories around is the MUD.

And just like mud covering up solid gold, the stories don’t change the value of the gold. It might make it hard to see at times. It might get confusing + messy + deep.. but the gold at your core doesn’t change.

Your mistakes are not who you are.

Your story is not who you are.

Remember you are gold baby, solid gold.

I’m with you.


Act Like It

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This is a message to all women out there acting like you are anything less than a spark of the Divine.

This is a message for anyone who feels like they “can’t” do it.

This is a note to any woman out there equating her worth to her waistline or her thigh circumference.

This is a note to you.

To remind of who you are.

You are POWERFUL.

Act like it.

You are CAPABLE.

Act like it.

You have a heart that can transform deep pain and emotional devastation into MORE love.

Act like it.

You have a mind that knows the answer to any question in your heart.

Act like it.

You have a body that is alive; heart beating, lungs breathing, and the complicated systems beyond what we’ve even figured out, are more or less working.

Act like it.

You have a spirit is that is magnificent and came to this earth for a purpose. To learn and to love and know what it’s like to be human.

Act like it.

Remember, that you have a responsibility to treat your precious body well. Feed it healthy, wholesome food. Move it and feel it’s delight. Drink good quality water. Talk nicely to it. It’s made of stardust after all.

Remember, your heart beat is your home. No one else’s. Partners are lovely and comforting, but you’ve got all you need right in the center of your chest.

Remember that your mind is a tool to be used for the good of all, not to spin out on all the disadvantages and excuses and failures of your life.

Remember that your spirit, that unexplained phenomenon that you don’t have to “understand” but that you “know”, is a part of something bigger than you could ever imagine. Be with yourself.

This is your message today to Act like the divine being you are.

I’m with you.




The Myth Of Doing It All

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The other day I was reading an email from a person in our tribe and they said "I just don't understand how those "super women" do it all!" 

I know in this shiny, social media soaked culture we can feel overwhelmingly behind all the time. The comparison game is ON HIGH with most of us. 

And I get it.. it can feel like we're always a few steps behind everyone else.. but let this email be your reminder.. every woman is a super woman and “doing it all” is a myth.

Sometimes we feel like we should be able to do it all.


We have this sense that “everyone else” is doing more than we are; and that we’ll somehow “fall behind” if we don’t keep going a thousand miles a minute.

Better “keep up”!

We have this idea that we should be able to eat “clean” all the time, workout (hard) every day, take care of our families, be chronically sleep deprived & still function well, be successful, make lots of money, have lots of things, have awesome relationships with our parents & have close knit circle of friends... the list goes on.

No wonder we all feel soooo tired.

Of course we can’t do all that.

News flash! No one does.

We can have EVERYTHING our hearts desire, but we’ve better take care of ourselves during the process of getting it, or else what’s the point?

The world needs the best version of you, you can be. The world needs your rested, cared for, and FULL self.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s one of the best things you can do for other people. Letting yourself rest and have downtime is a gift to yourself and others. When you give to yourself, others benefit.

I’m so over women feeling like they have to wear all the hats. Feeling like their dreams require them to sacrifice. Feeling that they need to do all the things and look good doing it.

We don’t.

There will always be phases of intensity when we talk about building dreams, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to let yourself ENJOY every moment of it.

So go ahead.
Give into the pleasure of the moment.
Relish an extra hour in bed; I promise the world won’t collapse and you won’t get fired.
Go to that workout class even though you’ve got a to-do list a mile long.

One thing I just did: mark a day off on your calendar as “a personal day” and do whatever you want. 

Discipline Is Slowing Down

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What if I told you that to be disciplined you’ve got to slow down?

We all think we need more discipline, but what we really think when we think discipline is "willpower." 

We think if only we had more willpower we would love ourselves more. We would stop eating sugar. We would go to the gym everyday. We would do more exciting things and have more exciting lives.

This is a lie.

You don’t need more willpower. You need more discipline.

Discipline requires you to decide what your values are and act on those values even when in the short term it isn’t exactly fun. Discipline comes after you’ve experienced the downfall of lack of discipline. Discipline requires wisdom and long term thinking.

Willpower is the idea that we can ‘will’ ourselves to do something. We can’t.

One the most important things I’ve ever heard is devotion and love will always outlive drive and motivation. And devotion requires the wisdom and repetition of discipline.

So how do we grow discipline?

One might argue that we grow discipline with willpower.

But I don’t see it that way at all. The idea that we have to “fight” ourselves in anyway to get what we want is just falling back into the old paradigm of “life is hard” and that we have to “work more” and “sacrifice” to “build something for ourselves.” The paradigm that the world is a difficult place to be. This is an old and tired way of thinking. It’s boring and it’s ran its course. 

How we really build discipline is by committing to slowing down and asking ourselves meaningful questions.

To grow discipline we engage in mindfulness when we eat, when we talk, when we listen, when we live

It’s simple. Just slow down. Watch what you’re actually doing. Let eating food be enough, don’t work while eating. Let walking to your car or to the next store be enough and don’t check your phone for the 100th time that day. Think about what you’re saying before you say it. Really listen to people when they talk.

We build discipline by slowing down and listening to what the soft animal of our body actual wants and doing that. It’s as simple as stopping the autopilot of life.

It’s so surface-level-attractive to speed up in life. To distract, escape, and avoid. But to live a life of intention and soul-led-purpose we’ve gotta slow down.

Slowing down doesn’t mean that you can’t get anything done. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you’ll probably get more done. But you will “lean” out your to do list. Activities that seemed like life or death may get dropped. You may find yourself engaging with different people or groups or even switching careers.

But don’t be afraid to slow down badly at first. Just give it a try. Notice how many times a day you check your phone just to fill space. Notice that you feel frantic most of the time. Notice that you literally don’t stop or take a deep breath all day.

Awareness starts to decondition. And it is the key to a mindful life. So start there. See what happens.

How are you building discipline this week by slowing down?

What Do Instead Of Making a New Year's Resolution

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During this time of year there is a big emphasis on setting goals and “bettering” ourselves. Sayings like “new year, new you” are everywhere. People are setting aggressive money saving, weight loss, dietary, or workout goals. I’ve seen a lot of people on social media saying thing to the gist of.. “2018 was a terrible a year, but here I come 2019. I’m going to turn it all around.” 

hmmm…

As much as I love goals and focusing on how to bring more intentional design to our lives, new years resolutions aren’t the way we successfully shift our lives.

Here are some harrowing statistics.. 

These aren’t hopeful …

So instead of engaging in something we know doesn’t work for most people, what can you do to actually make 2019 one of the best of your life?

Most of us have broken promises to ourselves much more than we have kept promises to ourselves. What would happen if you had a friend who said they would meet you for coffee at specific date and time and kept either no-showing to the date or making up last minute excuses? You probably wouldn’t trust them. Same goes with ourselves.

When we tell ourselves we’re going to loose weight or save money or change our diet or do more exciting things and we just continue to do the same things we’ve always done, we start to break trust with ourselves. We stop trusting ourselves. 


Then when we set big goals that involve intensive changes to the status quo it’s only a few days or at most a few weeks before we break our promise and go back to our old ways. 

Think about it this way..you’re not going to go on a week long trip to Mexico with your friend who keeps no-showing on you for coffee and you’re not going to trust yourself to eat “clean” and work out every day when you’re not even able to wake up an hour earlier each morning.

So what we need to do is build trust with ourselves in small ways. We need to go for the low hanging fruit. We need to make small changes that are relatively easy and build up from there. The daily habits. This isn’t a sexy proposition, as most people want to make big sweeping changes and see big sweeping results.. but big sweeping results are built from small, steady, consistent daily habits. 


I don’t want to completely disregard goal setting, so I do strongly encourage you to set S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals for one, three and five years in the future. These an adjust and change as our lives and desires do, but we should always have a plan for where we’re headed if we want to live an intentional, consciously created life. 

However, the most important thing to do during this time of year when we’ve got all the fresh, new year energy is to choose five daily habits you know would make you feel better right now, in this moment.

We don’t want to focus on what we want to change as that is heavy and brings into focus how far we’ve got to go. Not a very motivating thought. But we do want to think about what could we do right now that would make us feel better, right now. That feels doable and empowering. Then make those actions daily habits by committing each one for 30 days before adding the new one.

Here are some examples of daily habits I’ve used this method with. 

  • Drink half your body weight in ounces (eg if you weight 200 pounds you would drink 100 ounces of water) in filtered water each day. 

  • Consistently take my supplements.

  • Add green veggies to every meal

  • Meditate for 20 minutes each morning (this could be 5 minutes if you’re new to mindfulness).

  • Sweat each day

  • Spend one hour undistracted with your partner or kids in the evening

  • Stop work at 6pm 

These daily habits are what is going to build a foundation upon which you trust yourself and keep your own promises to yourself.

So what are is the first daily habit you’re going to adopt this new year? 

 

4 Things I Learned From Doing "Nothing"

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From Christmas eve until January 3rd, I did absolutely nothing. 

Well, that’s not totally true..I did nothing for anyone else. I only did exactly what I wanted to do; moment by moment. I gave myself all the freedom. On the night of December 23rd, I put my phone in airplane mode and didn’t turn it back off until the morning of the 3rd.

No texts.

No emails.

No social media.

No messages.

No way for anyone to get a hold of me. 


So what did I actually do? I traveled to Sedona, Arizona and… 

  • I went to a 75 minute hot yoga class every morning.

  • I hiked around 40 miles over the course of 9 days.

  • I went to a new years eve 3 hour chanting and meditation session with a bunch of strangers that all turned into good friends.

  • I got a 90-min facial, a 90-min massage and my nails done. All in the same day. 

  • I met up with an old friend.

  • I watched a movie called “Call me by Your Name”.. it was really good, highly recommend it.

  • I slept in late.

  • I journaled and wrote about my dreams and aspirations. 

  • I honed those dreamy, free-writings into accomplishable 1 year, 3 year and 5 year goals. 

  • I broke the one year goals down into quarterly, monthly, weekly tasks, and even daily tasks.

  • I ate a lot of delicious food and chocolate and organic green juice.

  • I took about 5 long, hot baths

  • I went to a sound bath. 

  • I went to an ecstatic dance class.

  • I mapped out my travel for 2019.

  • I saw and explored the grand canyon.

  • I hung out in an airport watching silly holiday movies.

  • I read two books. 

  • I meditated for at least 40 minutes each day. 


I gave myself the gift of doing exactly what I wanted. So here’s 4 truths I’ve learned from giving myself what I most needed and wanted.

  1. Sometimes the best thing we can do for those around us is to give something to ourselves. Sacrifice can stunt those we think we’re helping. When we are true to ourselves, we help others be true to themselves.

  2. Even if we run our own business and have no employees or support, or have a super demanding job, we can totally disconnect without the world falling apart if we decide it’s what we need. We are responsible for how our lives unfold. The choice for what happens next in our lives is always our own. 

  3. People will always take whatever you give, and be happy with it. So it’s more up to you to decide how much you want to give (see number 1) and know that it will always be just the right amount. It’s up to you to temper your own giving.

  4. Our own self-care and self-honoring sets an example to anyone we come into contact with. Our own steadiness is our greatest gift to the ones around us. What we give and how we give can change the world—and we are always giving and teaching by our example. -or- How we live is our greatest gift to the world.

Sending you tidings of joy, love, and the deep knowledge that you are worthy of what you most want to give and receive in this world. The power is in your hands.









Winter Solstice Self Care Ritual

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I love thinking of living our lives in congruence with the seasons. Winter is a time for reflection, inward movement, rest and just ‘being.’

However, with the holidays in full swing sometimes this time of year can feel anything but restful.

If you’re searching for something to make you feel cherished and cared for.. give the gift of the following ritual to yourself.

If you want to learn more tips and tricks and hear about how you can join a 30 day cleanse + restore group process I invite you to register for the cleanse +restore 2019 online workshop on January 3rd, 2019 at 1pm MST.

Here’s the steps to your winter solstice self care ritual..

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com.

[and if you need a yoga mat, please choose an eco-friendly one. Here is a sweet guide to help you through the decision.]

Step 2: Dry Skin brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here.

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities.

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find out your dosha here.

For this step I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. Buy your CPTG oils here.

[Here’s a report from a consumer advocate group that found doTERRA’s to be the purest essential oils on the market.]

I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself + telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things.

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful.

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate. I love the Love Rising Podcast and the insight timer app.

When you’re ready to rise self care rituals like this show the universe you are ready to start to honor your body + your needs.

Take a picture of some part of this process and post instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. We’re all in this together!




A New Concept of Sweetness

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I love fall.

I love the changing of the seasons.

The feeling of fall is this delightfully cozy energy of turning inward.

It’s the warm sweaters, cups of tea or golden milk and early nights.

The time of year when I always feel the once-I-get home-I’m-not-leaving-again vibes.

Even if you’re not in the wintery north like me, I’m willing to bet you’re feeling the shift of energy.

The other day I was getting super close to this “fall” energy, basking in it, you could say. Just allowing myself to relish the secure feeling and the crisp air.

How sweet it is to curl up under a blanket and read.

How sweet it is to get into bed earlier.

The sound of wood crackling on the fire is one of the sweetest sounds.

There is a reason we call our loved ones “sweetie” and “honey”.. it’s because sweetness and this feeling of coming home are linked in some way. The flavor of sweetness is synonymous to that of safety.

In our primal brains if we have something sweet to eat we know we’re nourished.

One of the reasons I believe people crave sweets so prolifically these days is that our lives are lacking this calm and intimate sweetness of life. So we try to fill the void with physical, flavors of sweetness.

Our lack of emotional and life sweetness translates to a craving for the flavor of sweetness.

So in this perfect of time year, let’s bring ourselves and our loved ones a little more life-sweetness.

Some ideas include:

  • Sleeping in a little longer and going to bed a little earlier.

  • Curling up on the couch with a blanket to watch an old favorite movie.

  • Bundle up and go on a walk to enjoy all the changing leaves colors.

  • Make yourself some golden milk.

  • Go buy at least 5 different teas you’re excited about trying and have a tea party.

  • Taking a nap in the middle of the day.

  • Buy yourself a new cozy sweater. I have been LOVING this one.

  • Draw yourself a bath with epsom salts and add medicinal grade essential oils like ylang ylang and cedar wood.

  • Create a night time ritual.

What does being sweet to yourself look like?

How can you capitalize on this beautiful inward shift of energy to give yourself a little more sweetness in your life?

Comment below and let’s bring on the sweetness!

Follow the Urge

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As I’m writing this I am sitting by a stream in a camping area about an hour from my rural Montana home. No phone service. No internet. No sounds but the wind through the trees, a few birds chatting back and forth, and the stream rushing by.

I have come to crave this solitude; this feeling of nowhere to be and nothing to do. This feeling of total detachment from the buzz and hmmm of the electric world. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a “go-getter.” I’m ambitious and direct. I know what I want. Clarity has never been something I struggled to find. I’m a black and white thinker. I know what’s right and wrong. Most of my adult life so far as revolved around traveling the world or working to travel or working while traveling. 

Yet.. all of the sudden I feel the need to STOP. Be still. Just be. To be completely honest, it’s foreign. Sure, I love meditation. I truly believe that if all people took more time to contemplate and watch our thoughts, the world would be a much happier and healthier place. 

But this desire for stillness, is more than just a routine morning quiet time. It’s like a part of me that was always there, but in the shadows has come out into the light and is all the sudden driving and all the other parts of me are getting motion sickness. The constant movement to stillness. The raw ambition to the relative apathy. The pure clarity to the grey area. This new driving force of stillness is making me feel like I don’t quite know myself.

None of this is bad. It’s a form of growth. I can tell, a deeper awakening to myself and my power is imminent. My body and higher self are calling on me to SLOW DOWN. 

Listen. 

Take rest. 

“You’ll need your energy for what’s to come.”

A time of potential building and ripening. 

So all this is to say.. if you feel the urge to slow down too, follow it. If you feel a little “stuck” “lost” or “uninspired”, there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s part of our cyclical nature. We will always come back to the action. We will always come back to the desire to do. We contract and we expand. We have periods in our lives (sometimes very long periods) of creation and manifesting and periods of recuperating and stillness. 

We all live and we all die. 

The circle or the wave of life.

The struggle against this inevitable waning of life is what makes this aspect of life miserable.

When you go into a period of stillness, and instead of letting it offer you its insight, you fight and rally against it, you deny it and try to keep pushing, is when you elongate that period or make it more painful than it has to be. 

When you build the story of “failure” or “lazy” around a simple need for stillness, you rob yourself of the lessons it’s trying to teach you and elongate the whole process. 

 

If I have learned anything from my relatively short, but very full life it’s that the more we’re able to listen to our internal urges, those little nagging feelings, the “pings” of intuition, the more we’re following the path of least resistance. The path that will easily and fully lead us to where we need to go, what we need to learn, and who we need to be.

Sometimes those nagging feelings aren’t easy to follow. I can tell you firsthand, that my ego DOES NOT WANT to slow down. It wants to go. It wants to accomplish. It wants to MAKE IT HAPPEN. It wants to check the things off the list. It wants to get recognition and praise. So for me to follow this urge to come out to this place in nature with all distractions and connections severed, took a lot of higher-self-worth and trust. It’s a muscle you build over time and with practice. 

You start listening to the little nudges first. You take a different road on your drive home from work because you get the urge. You call that friend that keeps popping into your mind. You sit at the base of the tree in the park because it keeps grabbing your attention.

Then the smaller things turn into bigger things. You get the clear urge to go to Italy, so you plan a trip there. You get the clear urge to talk to your partner about that thing you’ve been hiding from him or her.

This is the way to start to tap into this path of living our lives in the path of the least resistance.  A flip to following “my will” to “the higher will.” The greater good. The higher purpose. Getting our directions from the thing that makes our hearts beat and tells the flowers when to open. The great mystery. 

Mystery doesn’t give you a play by play. A step by step process. It gives you an urge. It gives you a ping. It gives you a nagging feeling.

Go ahead, play the mystery game.

I’m with you. 

 

 

 

You Are the Master of Your Mind

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“The mind was made to bless.” - A Course in Miracles.



I got a message from an audience member of mine talking about her struggle with disordered eating.

She asked me why her mind was so irrational. Why when she knew she should stop restricting, she just couldn’t get the self-negating thoughts about her looks & how much/what she was eating, to go away.

She asked, "How come my mind is so irrational? When will these thoughts stop?"

The not so sexy answer is.. the thoughts won’t stop, but you are SO much more than your thoughts. And as you put your thoughts/feelings back in their place (in the backseat, not the driver’s seat)...they start to matter less & less.

The goal can never be to get the thoughts to go away or stop, the goal always have to be disengaging from the thoughts & identifying with the part of you that is soo much more. That space in your heart that is full of mystery & expansion & knowing.

Your mind/thoughts/feelings can be your servants. Not your master. Identifying with & remembering the master in you is the work.. as you do that the thoughts relax & go where they should, toward blessing the world around you.

Our minds were not made to be constantly coming up with the worst case scenario. But unfortunately most of us have put them in charge of our lives & that is WAY out of our mind’s job description, so that’s how it copes.

The worry & the fear. The mental anguish. The irrational thoughts. Guard constantly up. Always looking for the next blow.

Let it go. 
Let the part of you that knows come forward & lead. Those pesky little thoughts will go from your worst enemy to your best friend when released from their unwarranted responsibility of keeping you safe.

As we decide to stop identifying with our mind/thoughts/feelings we discover the master quietly waiting in the background, in the stillness of our own hearts.

Let go.
Get quiet.
Spend time with yourself.
I’m with you.

What to do with Worry

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I heard a quote from Abraham Hicks the other day: “Worry is just putting yourself in the future without the resources you have right now.” 

As the ever-loving Universe would have it we’re always being offered lessons. The exact right information comes at the exact right moment when we’re ready to receive it. Hearing this statement was one of those synchronistic moments for me.  

I am a very anxious person by nature. My brain is on hyper alert all the time. I’m the type of person that wants to solve everything and everything done right now. Someone doesn’t text me back immediately? They’re probably dead. You don’t answer the phone? You’re dead in my mind. My husband leaves the house in a car. He’s probably going to die. 

I know how ridiculous this sounds (although I’m willing to bet a lot more people than you would think can relate to these thoughts pretty well). Luckily, with my spiritual practice and the effort I’ve put into the development of my higher self, these anxious, crazy thoughts don’t really get a hold on me at all anymore. I can watch them and let them go. 

But my anxiety does create more struggle in my life sometimes. I get very anxious about returning emails. I get anxious about not “taking advantage” of my time. I get anxious about if I’m being productive enough. I get anxious about planning things and making sure plans are carried out.The list goes on. So when I heard this quote about worrying being putting yourself in the future where you don’t have the resources you have right now it clicked. 

When we worry or get anxious about things that might or might not happen we aren’t giving ourselves any good options. We’re literally putting ourselves out in total pure potential land (the future) with no grounding presence of now. We don’t have our breath. We don’t have our feet on the ground. We don’t have our five senses. We don’t know what we’ll feel like, or how much sleep we might have get. 

So what do we do with worry? What do we do when our powerful little monkey minds just spin out on some awful scenario or tangent? 

We come back to now. We take a deep breath. We feel our feet on the ground. We engage our senses. 

We ask ourselves, “Is there something I can do about this situation right now?” 

Now, if you were worrying about whether or not you left the coffee maker on, you could technically do something about that. You could go back home and check the coffee maker. You could text your partner at home and ask them to check it. So if there does happen to be something you can do about worry subject. Go ahead and DO IT. 

However, if there is nothing you can do about the situation you are worrying about right now, then this is when you can start to engage presence and take your power back. You shift your focus. Focus on your sternum, or your heart, or somewhere in your physical body. Close your eyes and breathe into that place. Notice how the air feels on your skin. Taste. Smell. Be present. 

And just like that we’ve let go of worry and reclaimed our power, right now, in the present where we belong. 

This may seem very simple, and it is. But that doesn’t mean it should be discounted. The answer is more often than not..simple. It does take practice and discipline to focus our minds, so although this can work really well in the moment, it’s also something that can be more effective if you calm and focus your mind on a regular basis through a meditation or mindfulness practice of some sort. 

Peace be with you, my friends. 

I Don't Play That Game

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This week I’ve had a lot of self doubt appear.

If you’re an entrepreneur you probably know this feeling well. That little voice that says, “what if you’re crazy?” “what if you don’t have what it takes to do what you’re doing?” “You’re not as good as everyone else,” and on and on. 

If you’re not an entrepreneur I’m willing to bet a million bucks you’ve experienced self-doubt in some other form. Self-doubt always rears it’s ugly head when we’re trying to change something or do something out of the ordinary. Maybe you’ve questioned whether or not you’re ever going to find a partner after a breakup or the 100th bad date. “You’re going to end up alone.” Maybe you’ve heard the voice when you wanted to reach a certain health or lifestyle goal. “You’re not thin and bendy enough to do yoga!” 

I think you get the point. It’s ain’t pretty. 

So.. that’s what’s been happening to me this week and I want to share a new practice that has helped me to disengage from the self doubt, make myself feel better, and move forward.

This practice is very simple. Here it is, when you hear that voice of self-doubt, state to yourself, “No, I don’t play that game.” 

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When the voice says, “Your thighs are so big you’re never going to be taken seriously as a health and wellness coach.” You say right back, “No, I don’t play that game.” I don’t play the game where the way my body looks gets to make me feel bad or unworthy of what I want. I play the game where my body is precious, sacred, and beautiful, and also where I am SO much more than my body.

When the voice says, “You’re crazy to think that you could make $12,000 a month passively. Maybe some people can do it, but YOU never could.” I say right back, “I don’t play that game.” I play the game where the world is abundant, amazing, and earning a beautiful living is possible, easy, and simple.

When the voice says, “This is too hard. You better quit.” You say, “Nope. I don’t play that game.” I play the game that allows what is to be the way it is. I don’t resist any experience that is placed in front of me because I know life is always happening for me, not to me. I always can find a thought that feels good. I’m always preparing myself to be ready for the best possible thing to happen to me.

I play the games that I want to play. Not the ones that society sometimes seems to have forced upon me. 

When we disengage from the “game”, we simply refuse to engage with the thought patterns that hold us back from whatever we want to do; and we’ll see we never had to play those games in the first place. 

This doesn’t mean that the voice or the fears completely go away forever. It just means they become background noise instead of the main chorus. And with practice you’ll be able to unhook from ‘the games’ faster and with more ease.

Freedom is yours. It’s a choice in each moment. Don’t forget that. Using this mantra allows us to remember we can choose to disengage and get on with our awesomeness. 

 

 

Letting Go of the Past and the Future to Enjoy the Present

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"Start anew, again & again. Every moment of our lives we can start anew." - Pema

You don’t have to believe the story of yesterday.

The stories of our past have a certain momentum that can be challenging to bring to a halt. 

But... 

All it takes is awareness. 

A simple momentary choice to see right now differently. 

To know that every moment is chance to start again. 

Let’s choose a new story, one that we’re excited about & in love with, right now in the present moment. 

My work this week (or let’s be honest; the work of my life) has been in the vein of learning how to not know where the path leads exactly, but walk down it anyway. And to not make assumptions about that path because of past experiences. 

To not be super consumed in the place I’m going before I get there. Or the place I was just standing.

To stay open along the way and keep moving forward. 

To meet the people and experiences that cross my path with love and curiosity; not view them as obstacles in the way of where I’m going or plaster them with expectations. 

The way I’ve learned to ‘be’ in the world is to be kind of like a bulldozer. 

I see where I’m going and I just charge ahead. 

Single minded. 

I won't say it hasn't worked for me in some respects.  

I bless the lessons, gifts, and massive amount of drive it has given me. 

But I’m ready for a softer existence. 

I’m craving more flow. 

A way of being that is more like a river. 

No hurry. 

No rush. 

No urgency. 

Swift in parts. 

Slow and heavy in others. 

I always know where I’m going. 

I’ll get there as sure as the river leads to the ocean. 

Releasing control and trusting the process so that I can enjoy what happens along the way. 

Sometimes we need more drive. 

Sometimes we need more flow. 

Sometimes we need to remember that we are here to enjoy life. To thank the every day, ordinary moments. 

Right now I’m choosing the beauty of letting go, and allowing each moment to start afresh. 

What about you?

5 Self-Care Practices That Are Working For Me Right Now

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I've been feeling pretty dang good, so good that I thought I would share my nonnegotiable self-care practices that are working for me right now, because I feel like I'm on to something... ; ) 


1. Drinking warm lemon water with a pinch of sea salt right when I wake up


This is an oldie, but a goodie.

It is my go-to advice. If you're a client of mine, I know you've heard this. If you're a friend of mine, I know you've heard this. If you're anyone that has ever stood near me, you've probably hear this... 

Here's why... 
There are four pillars of physical health in my mind: 

  1. Hydration 
  2. Sleep 
  3. nutritious food 
  4. Stress management 

We live in the real world though and it’s not very likely that you’re going to be able to do all of these perfectly all of them time. 

But when we have these four pillars in mind we can make sure we focus on what we can, when one isn't doable. 

This means, that when I know I’m going to be extra stressed or not going to be able to get as much sleep as I know would be best for me, I’ll up the hydration and I’ll up the nutritious food. Or when I’m traveling and I know I won’t be able to eat as well as normal, I’ll make sure I’m doing my stress management and drinking lots of water. 


Starting your day off with a large glass of water is one way to make sure you’re always getting a head start on the hydration. If you do the added lemon (I do the juice from half a lemon) then it helps with detox as well as kick starts your digestion. If you do the warm water, it just makes it a little easier for your body to absorb. Drink the water before coffee and you’re golden. 


2. Writing down 3 things I’m grateful for every day


Gratitude is literally the antidote to almost everything. 

If we can bring ourselves back to gratitude for what we have, we keep our vibe high and our minds focused on all the good things in our lives. If you read my stuff, you know that I’m all for accepting and loving those “negative” emotions, but dwelling on the bad in your life never made anyone feel good. 

Gratitude sets you free. 

Makes you feel good. 

Even in the most trying situations. 


I have a special little notebook I carry around with me and every morning I start my day by writing down 3 things I’m grateful for. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as, “I am grateful for my pillow,” and other days it’s bigger, “I’m grateful for my purpose.” 

The other awesome side effect of actually writing them down and making a habit of writing them down, is that throughout your day you’re looking for things to be grateful for and this keeps your thoughts and mind expecting the best. 
You’re asking yourself throughout the day, “What can I be grateful for today?”

Magic. 



3. Dancing every evening. (hey! Dancing DEFINITELY counts as self-care) 


This is something that is relatively new and seems kind of comical to actually have on my “to do” list. But here’s why I made it a nonnegotiable. 

First off, we all need more fun and play in our lives and dancing is freaking fun for me. It ALWAYS cheers me up. 

The second reason for my new dancing obsession is that I found I was getting really stuck in my head all day. All our professional work these days is very mental, cerebral, and that can make us disregard our bodies which leads to feelings of distraction, spacey-ness, feelings of disconnection and a decrease in our ability to be aroused and have sexual desire.


Dancing gives me that playful feeling and allows me to connect back into my body, allowing me to be more sexual, sensual and experience more pleasure. All good things! 



4. Check-Ins on the New Moon and on the Full Moon


I love the idea of cycles. 

We are cyclical beings. Especially as women. 

We need to remember that there is a time for planning; a time for resting and recuperating; and a time for doing.

 Our society tends to be very productivity and “doing” oriented and it’s not serving us well. People are stressed out, experiencing high levels of depression and anxiety, dis-ease. 

Connecting into our cyclical nature allows us to connect back in to nature, cycles, and gives us permission and regular intervals to reevaluate and take inventory and tap into what we need. 

The new moon ritual or check in is based around planting new seeds and intentions for the moon cycle to come. It’s a time for setting goals, getting clear about what I want, and how I am going to get it. 

The full moon ritual or check in is based around evaluation and shedding what doesn’t serve. It’s a time to be honest with ourselves about what is and isn’t working and create the space to allow what is not working to fall away and make space for something new. 

These new moon and full moon “rituals” typically are just an hour or so in the evening of the day of new moon and the day of the full moon.

It goes like this: My husband and I gather, put on some nice relaxing music, light a candle and a bundle of sage, and go through our check-in worksheets (linked below). 

We simply discuss and share what we wrote. Nothing more than that. 

This has also had a great unexpected side effect of providing time for my husband and I to connect on the state of our relationship and communicate on deeper levels than we’re normally prompted to do in every day life.

Life can get so “go, go, go” that a month can easily go by without us checking in with our families and our loved ones. These rituals have allowed us to carve out that time to check in with ourselves and each other. Priceless. 

Download my New Moon and Full Moon Ritual worksheets here


5. Using Essential Oils throughout the day


So essential oils are becoming a deep, deep love of mine, and you'll definitely be hearing a lot more about them. 

They have the ability to change your mood in an instant. They have the ability to change the entire feel of a room. 


I’ve started using them throughout my day in so many ways and they’ve literally changed so much about how I experience frustration, exhaustion, food cravings, mediation, sickness.. the list goes on. 

To keep it as brief as possible, here’s my typical daily essential oils routine: 

  • wake up, put water in the diffuser with wild orange and peppermint (hello bright shiny morning vibes!) 
  • during my morning meditation practice I’ll use rose, jasmine, or frankincense to ground me and clear my chakras. 
  • Apply the hormone balancing Clary Calm blend to my lower abdomen to keep hormones balanced and healthy throughout stressful days. 
  • Use passion blend throughout the workday when I’m feeling uninspired or sluggish. 
  • Diffuse balance, serenity, citrus bliss, elevation blend (all sorts! I can’t really say exactly what I use) throughout the day in my office to keep me feeling like I’m in a spa… ; ) 
  • Use on guard when I’m sick, imortelle on my face for anti-aging benefits, rosemary in my shampoo, deep blue with sore muscles, breathe when I do yoga.. Ok this is just crazy, but you get the point. It’s ALL THE TIME.
  • 30 min before bed I always start the bedroom diffuser with something relaxing like lavender and cedar wood or roman chamomile. 


**Interested in getting some medicinal grade essential oils? I am an essential oils educator and wellness advocate with doTERRA essential oils and would love to chat with you about how to use oils to address areas of your life where you need some self-care. Email me at revolutionaryhelpdesk@gmail.com to schedule a phone call. 

Ok, so those are 5 self-care practices that are working for me right now...

Now let me know, what's working for you?