self love mastery

The 6 Steps to Healing (Steps 4-6)

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This week, I am continuing on the theme of natural, self-led healing from last week's letter about how we all need a little proof that the natural route works sometimes.

Last week I wrote about steps 1 through 3 of the 6 steps of healing from Susun Weed's Wise Woman Tradition.

This week I am writing about steps 4 through 6.

The concept is one of going to back to the basics of healing. What is healing? What does it truly mean? And how do we initiate it? How do we feel less lost and less powerless in the face of challenge, be it a physical challenge or an emotional challenge (are they really that different after all?).

The 6 steps of healing can be used to heal any issue, emotional, physical, spiritual or mental.

We can bring any issue we are struggling to resolve through these 6 steps and get clear guidance and direction for how to move forward.

These 6 steps of healing are an incredible potent tool for anyone and everyone to take their power back and tap into their own wisdom and self-healing abilities. Going through these 6 steps in sequential order will also ensure that you don't jump to conclusions and use more invasive tools than you may need.

Here they are:

Step 4: Stimulate or Sedate. Hot or cold water, many herbal tinctures, acupuncture.

For every stimulation/sedation, there is an opposite sedation/stimulation, sooner or later. Addiction is possible if this step is overused.

Physical Healing Example: After nourishing yourself and using gentle methods, you realize you may need a little more power behind a healing plan. They you may use an herbal tincture or go get acupuncture for hormonal balance.

Emotional Healing Example: Maybe you are trying to relax around work so your relationship with your partner isn't so strained, but you decide you also need to take a hot bath each night or three times a week.


Step 5a: Use Supplements. Synthesized or concentrated vitamins, minerals, and food substances such as nutritional yeast, blue-green algae, bran.

These substances may do as much harm as good. You can see that this is step a lot of people jump to immediately, but in these 6 steps of healing you may find that steps 0-3 give you what you need and that would be much less invasive.

Physical Healing Example: Using supplements to support your healing from endometriosis.

Emotional Healing Example: Using supplements to change your mood or manage your stress.

Step 5b: Use Drugs. Chemotherapy, tamoxifen, hormones, high dilution homeopathics, and potentially toxic herbs.

These substances may do as much harm as good. You can see that this is step a lot of people jump to immediately, but in these 6 steps of healing you may find that steps 0-3 give you what you need and that would be much less invasive. This step is where most conventional health care providers will start.

Physical Healing Example: Using synthetic birth control to manipulate endometriosis systems.

Emotional Healing Example: You start using hormonal replacement therapy to help you mood.

Step 6: Break and Enter. Threatening language, surgery, colonics, radiation therapies, psychoactive drugs, invasive diagnostic tests such as mammograms and C-T scans

Side effects, sometimes including death, are inevitable.

Physical Healing Example: You get surgery to remove your ovaries as a solution for endometriosis pain.

Emotional Healing Example: You use antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs.

I invite you to pinpoint a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual issue you are currently dealing with on some level and take that issue through these first steps.... and see what unfolds!

If you'd like to share with me, please do! I would love to hear.


Five 5-minute Self Care Practices

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Self care is all the rage and for good reason.


We are craving more time spend in “being” mode and less time spent “doing.”


Things like burnout (which is now an official condition), adrenal fatigue, nervous breakdown, anxiety, depression, and more stress related issues, have been on the dramatic increase for years now. We know that stress contributes to pretty much EVERY SINGLE chronic issue out there. I don’t think there is any real argument for the idea that our the health of our physical body is not connected to our mental and emotional health.


We all know it’s true.


But what can you do? Our lives are busy, demanding and seem to go going so fast it can feel like “if only I could just catch up, then I could focus on managing my stress better.”


Listen! this is the truth. There is ALWAYS the same amount of time. It’s not something you will EVER have more of. You will always have the same amount of hours in the day, and what you decide is important and deserves the precious minutes or hours of your days is what you spend those minutes doing.


So if you feel overly stressed, busy and swamped, take a look at where you’re spending your time because that is what you value.


Are you ready to make a change? Here are five 5 minute self care practices to take the power back today.


  1. Walk out the door, step outside and take 5 deep breaths.

  2. Apply 2 drops Breathe essential oil to your chest, rub your palms together and cup around your nose and mouth and inhale deeply and close your eyes.

  3. Find a 5 minute mediation on insight timer that you like. Listen to it anytime you need 5 minutes of self care.

  4. Go to the bathroom and wash your face. (I LOVE this luxurious, non toxic and affordable face wash).

  5. Get on all fours and do cat cow pose and pigeon pose (2 minutes doing cat-cow pose and 1 minute on each side in pigeon pose).


That’s it. You’re on your way to reclaiming your power and taking better care of yourself.


Ambition is Boring

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Here’s a mindset shift for you: Ambition is boring.

I’ll elaborate, of course.


Ambition is this idea that if we know what we want, how to get it ...if we just put our minds to it.. we can “make” it happen, no matter what it costs us.

That’s a boring; nose-to-grind-stone; patriarchal; old, story.

I’m done with the ego-driven; “hustle” and “productivity equals worth” paradigm. This idea that our success in life has ANYTHING to do with the quality of person we are.

You are worthy, no matter what type of car you drive or position at work you hold or how lazy or hard-working you are.

The seed of truth in this old paradigm is that you must DECIDE to let yourself want to what you want. Free will means you get to choose where you place your focus. But, what I’ve found, is that being super attached to a situation having a specific outcome leaves no room for things like wonder; delight; magic. Plus, it can create a whole lot of suffering when things don’t go as planned [they never do].

Life is a conversation.

it’s a give-take between you and the wonderful world. You’ll NEVER know what the *best* outcome could be. And by thinking you do; you shut down all creativity and openness. You forget to enjoy what is going on RIGHT NOW.

A true life’s work shouldn’t be driven by the sterilized, unforgiving drive of ambition. That’s a recipe for burnout and a life void of flow.

A true life’s work should morph and shift and be non linear.. but something you show up for each day with an intention to stay open to the highest good and the highest possibility.

So go out there and do what you love and stay open to it happening in a way that’s better than you could have ever imagined.

I’m with you.

How to Build Endurance

Endurance.. normally we think of this as an athletic endeavor.

However, this week on “revolutionary lifestyle TV” I talk about why building emotional, mental and spiritual endurance is one of the most valuable undertakings of our life. So go ahead and give the little 7 min #clarawisdom clip a watch.

 
 

What Surrender Actually Looks Like...

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THE REAL MEANING OF SURRENDER
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Have you ever felt like you wanted to “give up”?
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Have you ever had a goal? A goal that you really, really, really wanted but the time was closing in + it looked like you wouldn’t reach that goal?
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Have you ever felt like you failed?
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I have. I have “failed” so many times, I could never go through them all in this little Instagram caption.
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I have failed in ways that would make you put your hand to your heart + cock your head + say “awwwww.. 😭😭.” I have failed in ways that would make your heart ache.
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But this is where surrender comes in.
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When we have an idea about what you really, really want + we think we understand how to get there + then it becomes apparent that the way we thought we would get there will not work; we can call that failure.
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Or.
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We can surrender.
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Surrender to the bigger plan.
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Surrender to the guidance being offered to us every moment.
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Surrender the attachment to “our way”.. + trust that there is another more beautiful way, if only we let go.
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“Letting go” + “surrendering” doesn’t mean to “give up”, in fact, I’ve done some of my hardest, most difficult work only after I’ve surrendered my ideas about the way things “SHOULD LOOK” or “SHOULD BE.”
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When you truly surrender your path + your single perception of the what you think would be the greatest outcome then you O P E N yourself up to MORE possibilities. The things you could do in the moment expand. You are giving yourself more options.
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Surrendering doesn’t mean stopping + doing nothing + acquiescing to what’s happening.. it means asking “I believe in miracles.. so if there was ONE MORE THING I could do.. what would that be?”
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And then letting go of the idea that you know the best way.
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Surrender today, my loves, AND keep going for what you want.
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I’m with you. 💗




You are Gold, Baby. Solid Gold.

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Myth: I am not good enough.

Magic: I am a magnificent being in the process of becoming more magnificent.

This empowering truth runs through all the world’s great traditions. If you study what the founders + mystics of those traditions taught, you will find that they highlight our innate worth rather than reinforce our weakness. They celebrate our inner fire rather than focus on the threat of hell fire.

The truth is, at your core, you are GOLD. Anything you’ve done, failed at, built stories around is the MUD.

And just like mud covering up solid gold, the stories don’t change the value of the gold. It might make it hard to see at times. It might get confusing + messy + deep.. but the gold at your core doesn’t change.

Your mistakes are not who you are.

Your story is not who you are.

Remember you are gold baby, solid gold.

I’m with you.


Act Like It

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This is a message to all women out there acting like you are anything less than a spark of the Divine.

This is a message for anyone who feels like they “can’t” do it.

This is a note to any woman out there equating her worth to her waistline or her thigh circumference.

This is a note to you.

To remind of who you are.

You are POWERFUL.

Act like it.

You are CAPABLE.

Act like it.

You have a heart that can transform deep pain and emotional devastation into MORE love.

Act like it.

You have a mind that knows the answer to any question in your heart.

Act like it.

You have a body that is alive; heart beating, lungs breathing, and the complicated systems beyond what we’ve even figured out, are more or less working.

Act like it.

You have a spirit is that is magnificent and came to this earth for a purpose. To learn and to love and know what it’s like to be human.

Act like it.

Remember, that you have a responsibility to treat your precious body well. Feed it healthy, wholesome food. Move it and feel it’s delight. Drink good quality water. Talk nicely to it. It’s made of stardust after all.

Remember, your heart beat is your home. No one else’s. Partners are lovely and comforting, but you’ve got all you need right in the center of your chest.

Remember that your mind is a tool to be used for the good of all, not to spin out on all the disadvantages and excuses and failures of your life.

Remember that your spirit, that unexplained phenomenon that you don’t have to “understand” but that you “know”, is a part of something bigger than you could ever imagine. Be with yourself.

This is your message today to Act like the divine being you are.

I’m with you.




The Myth Of Doing It All

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The other day I was reading an email from a person in our tribe and they said "I just don't understand how those "super women" do it all!" 

I know in this shiny, social media soaked culture we can feel overwhelmingly behind all the time. The comparison game is ON HIGH with most of us. 

And I get it.. it can feel like we're always a few steps behind everyone else.. but let this email be your reminder.. every woman is a super woman and “doing it all” is a myth.

Sometimes we feel like we should be able to do it all.


We have this sense that “everyone else” is doing more than we are; and that we’ll somehow “fall behind” if we don’t keep going a thousand miles a minute.

Better “keep up”!

We have this idea that we should be able to eat “clean” all the time, workout (hard) every day, take care of our families, be chronically sleep deprived & still function well, be successful, make lots of money, have lots of things, have awesome relationships with our parents & have close knit circle of friends... the list goes on.

No wonder we all feel soooo tired.

Of course we can’t do all that.

News flash! No one does.

We can have EVERYTHING our hearts desire, but we’ve better take care of ourselves during the process of getting it, or else what’s the point?

The world needs the best version of you, you can be. The world needs your rested, cared for, and FULL self.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s one of the best things you can do for other people. Letting yourself rest and have downtime is a gift to yourself and others. When you give to yourself, others benefit.

I’m so over women feeling like they have to wear all the hats. Feeling like their dreams require them to sacrifice. Feeling that they need to do all the things and look good doing it.

We don’t.

There will always be phases of intensity when we talk about building dreams, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to let yourself ENJOY every moment of it.

So go ahead.
Give into the pleasure of the moment.
Relish an extra hour in bed; I promise the world won’t collapse and you won’t get fired.
Go to that workout class even though you’ve got a to-do list a mile long.

One thing I just did: mark a day off on your calendar as “a personal day” and do whatever you want. 

Discipline Is Slowing Down

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What if I told you that to be disciplined you’ve got to slow down?

We all think we need more discipline, but what we really think when we think discipline is "willpower." 

We think if only we had more willpower we would love ourselves more. We would stop eating sugar. We would go to the gym everyday. We would do more exciting things and have more exciting lives.

This is a lie.

You don’t need more willpower. You need more discipline.

Discipline requires you to decide what your values are and act on those values even when in the short term it isn’t exactly fun. Discipline comes after you’ve experienced the downfall of lack of discipline. Discipline requires wisdom and long term thinking.

Willpower is the idea that we can ‘will’ ourselves to do something. We can’t.

One the most important things I’ve ever heard is devotion and love will always outlive drive and motivation. And devotion requires the wisdom and repetition of discipline.

So how do we grow discipline?

One might argue that we grow discipline with willpower.

But I don’t see it that way at all. The idea that we have to “fight” ourselves in anyway to get what we want is just falling back into the old paradigm of “life is hard” and that we have to “work more” and “sacrifice” to “build something for ourselves.” The paradigm that the world is a difficult place to be. This is an old and tired way of thinking. It’s boring and it’s ran its course. 

How we really build discipline is by committing to slowing down and asking ourselves meaningful questions.

To grow discipline we engage in mindfulness when we eat, when we talk, when we listen, when we live

It’s simple. Just slow down. Watch what you’re actually doing. Let eating food be enough, don’t work while eating. Let walking to your car or to the next store be enough and don’t check your phone for the 100th time that day. Think about what you’re saying before you say it. Really listen to people when they talk.

We build discipline by slowing down and listening to what the soft animal of our body actual wants and doing that. It’s as simple as stopping the autopilot of life.

It’s so surface-level-attractive to speed up in life. To distract, escape, and avoid. But to live a life of intention and soul-led-purpose we’ve gotta slow down.

Slowing down doesn’t mean that you can’t get anything done. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you’ll probably get more done. But you will “lean” out your to do list. Activities that seemed like life or death may get dropped. You may find yourself engaging with different people or groups or even switching careers.

But don’t be afraid to slow down badly at first. Just give it a try. Notice how many times a day you check your phone just to fill space. Notice that you feel frantic most of the time. Notice that you literally don’t stop or take a deep breath all day.

Awareness starts to decondition. And it is the key to a mindful life. So start there. See what happens.

How are you building discipline this week by slowing down?

4 Things I Learned From Doing "Nothing"

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From Christmas eve until January 3rd, I did absolutely nothing. 

Well, that’s not totally true..I did nothing for anyone else. I only did exactly what I wanted to do; moment by moment. I gave myself all the freedom. On the night of December 23rd, I put my phone in airplane mode and didn’t turn it back off until the morning of the 3rd.

No texts.

No emails.

No social media.

No messages.

No way for anyone to get a hold of me. 


So what did I actually do? I traveled to Sedona, Arizona and… 

  • I went to a 75 minute hot yoga class every morning.

  • I hiked around 40 miles over the course of 9 days.

  • I went to a new years eve 3 hour chanting and meditation session with a bunch of strangers that all turned into good friends.

  • I got a 90-min facial, a 90-min massage and my nails done. All in the same day. 

  • I met up with an old friend.

  • I watched a movie called “Call me by Your Name”.. it was really good, highly recommend it.

  • I slept in late.

  • I journaled and wrote about my dreams and aspirations. 

  • I honed those dreamy, free-writings into accomplishable 1 year, 3 year and 5 year goals. 

  • I broke the one year goals down into quarterly, monthly, weekly tasks, and even daily tasks.

  • I ate a lot of delicious food and chocolate and organic green juice.

  • I took about 5 long, hot baths

  • I went to a sound bath. 

  • I went to an ecstatic dance class.

  • I mapped out my travel for 2019.

  • I saw and explored the grand canyon.

  • I hung out in an airport watching silly holiday movies.

  • I read two books. 

  • I meditated for at least 40 minutes each day. 


I gave myself the gift of doing exactly what I wanted. So here’s 4 truths I’ve learned from giving myself what I most needed and wanted.

  1. Sometimes the best thing we can do for those around us is to give something to ourselves. Sacrifice can stunt those we think we’re helping. When we are true to ourselves, we help others be true to themselves.

  2. Even if we run our own business and have no employees or support, or have a super demanding job, we can totally disconnect without the world falling apart if we decide it’s what we need. We are responsible for how our lives unfold. The choice for what happens next in our lives is always our own. 

  3. People will always take whatever you give, and be happy with it. So it’s more up to you to decide how much you want to give (see number 1) and know that it will always be just the right amount. It’s up to you to temper your own giving.

  4. Our own self-care and self-honoring sets an example to anyone we come into contact with. Our own steadiness is our greatest gift to the ones around us. What we give and how we give can change the world—and we are always giving and teaching by our example. -or- How we live is our greatest gift to the world.

Sending you tidings of joy, love, and the deep knowledge that you are worthy of what you most want to give and receive in this world. The power is in your hands.









Winter Solstice Self Care Ritual

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I love thinking of living our lives in congruence with the seasons. Winter is a time for reflection, inward movement, rest and just ‘being.’

However, with the holidays in full swing sometimes this time of year can feel anything but restful.

If you’re searching for something to make you feel cherished and cared for.. give the gift of the following ritual to yourself.

If you want to learn more tips and tricks and hear about how you can join a 30 day cleanse + restore group process I invite you to register for the cleanse +restore 2019 online workshop on January 3rd, 2019 at 1pm MST.

Here’s the steps to your winter solstice self care ritual..

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com.

[and if you need a yoga mat, please choose an eco-friendly one. Here is a sweet guide to help you through the decision.]

Step 2: Dry Skin brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here.

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities.

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find out your dosha here.

For this step I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. Buy your CPTG oils here.

[Here’s a report from a consumer advocate group that found doTERRA’s to be the purest essential oils on the market.]

I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself + telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things.

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful.

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate. I love the Love Rising Podcast and the insight timer app.

When you’re ready to rise self care rituals like this show the universe you are ready to start to honor your body + your needs.

Take a picture of some part of this process and post instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. We’re all in this together!




A New Concept of Sweetness

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I love fall.

I love the changing of the seasons.

The feeling of fall is this delightfully cozy energy of turning inward.

It’s the warm sweaters, cups of tea or golden milk and early nights.

The time of year when I always feel the once-I-get home-I’m-not-leaving-again vibes.

Even if you’re not in the wintery north like me, I’m willing to bet you’re feeling the shift of energy.

The other day I was getting super close to this “fall” energy, basking in it, you could say. Just allowing myself to relish the secure feeling and the crisp air.

How sweet it is to curl up under a blanket and read.

How sweet it is to get into bed earlier.

The sound of wood crackling on the fire is one of the sweetest sounds.

There is a reason we call our loved ones “sweetie” and “honey”.. it’s because sweetness and this feeling of coming home are linked in some way. The flavor of sweetness is synonymous to that of safety.

In our primal brains if we have something sweet to eat we know we’re nourished.

One of the reasons I believe people crave sweets so prolifically these days is that our lives are lacking this calm and intimate sweetness of life. So we try to fill the void with physical, flavors of sweetness.

Our lack of emotional and life sweetness translates to a craving for the flavor of sweetness.

So in this perfect of time year, let’s bring ourselves and our loved ones a little more life-sweetness.

Some ideas include:

  • Sleeping in a little longer and going to bed a little earlier.

  • Curling up on the couch with a blanket to watch an old favorite movie.

  • Bundle up and go on a walk to enjoy all the changing leaves colors.

  • Make yourself some golden milk.

  • Go buy at least 5 different teas you’re excited about trying and have a tea party.

  • Taking a nap in the middle of the day.

  • Buy yourself a new cozy sweater. I have been LOVING this one.

  • Draw yourself a bath with epsom salts and add medicinal grade essential oils like ylang ylang and cedar wood.

  • Create a night time ritual.

What does being sweet to yourself look like?

How can you capitalize on this beautiful inward shift of energy to give yourself a little more sweetness in your life?

Comment below and let’s bring on the sweetness!

Follow the Urge

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As I’m writing this I am sitting by a stream in a camping area about an hour from my rural Montana home. No phone service. No internet. No sounds but the wind through the trees, a few birds chatting back and forth, and the stream rushing by.

I have come to crave this solitude; this feeling of nowhere to be and nothing to do. This feeling of total detachment from the buzz and hmmm of the electric world. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a “go-getter.” I’m ambitious and direct. I know what I want. Clarity has never been something I struggled to find. I’m a black and white thinker. I know what’s right and wrong. Most of my adult life so far as revolved around traveling the world or working to travel or working while traveling. 

Yet.. all of the sudden I feel the need to STOP. Be still. Just be. To be completely honest, it’s foreign. Sure, I love meditation. I truly believe that if all people took more time to contemplate and watch our thoughts, the world would be a much happier and healthier place. 

But this desire for stillness, is more than just a routine morning quiet time. It’s like a part of me that was always there, but in the shadows has come out into the light and is all the sudden driving and all the other parts of me are getting motion sickness. The constant movement to stillness. The raw ambition to the relative apathy. The pure clarity to the grey area. This new driving force of stillness is making me feel like I don’t quite know myself.

None of this is bad. It’s a form of growth. I can tell, a deeper awakening to myself and my power is imminent. My body and higher self are calling on me to SLOW DOWN. 

Listen. 

Take rest. 

“You’ll need your energy for what’s to come.”

A time of potential building and ripening. 

So all this is to say.. if you feel the urge to slow down too, follow it. If you feel a little “stuck” “lost” or “uninspired”, there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s part of our cyclical nature. We will always come back to the action. We will always come back to the desire to do. We contract and we expand. We have periods in our lives (sometimes very long periods) of creation and manifesting and periods of recuperating and stillness. 

We all live and we all die. 

The circle or the wave of life.

The struggle against this inevitable waning of life is what makes this aspect of life miserable.

When you go into a period of stillness, and instead of letting it offer you its insight, you fight and rally against it, you deny it and try to keep pushing, is when you elongate that period or make it more painful than it has to be. 

When you build the story of “failure” or “lazy” around a simple need for stillness, you rob yourself of the lessons it’s trying to teach you and elongate the whole process. 

 

If I have learned anything from my relatively short, but very full life it’s that the more we’re able to listen to our internal urges, those little nagging feelings, the “pings” of intuition, the more we’re following the path of least resistance. The path that will easily and fully lead us to where we need to go, what we need to learn, and who we need to be.

Sometimes those nagging feelings aren’t easy to follow. I can tell you firsthand, that my ego DOES NOT WANT to slow down. It wants to go. It wants to accomplish. It wants to MAKE IT HAPPEN. It wants to check the things off the list. It wants to get recognition and praise. So for me to follow this urge to come out to this place in nature with all distractions and connections severed, took a lot of higher-self-worth and trust. It’s a muscle you build over time and with practice. 

You start listening to the little nudges first. You take a different road on your drive home from work because you get the urge. You call that friend that keeps popping into your mind. You sit at the base of the tree in the park because it keeps grabbing your attention.

Then the smaller things turn into bigger things. You get the clear urge to go to Italy, so you plan a trip there. You get the clear urge to talk to your partner about that thing you’ve been hiding from him or her.

This is the way to start to tap into this path of living our lives in the path of the least resistance.  A flip to following “my will” to “the higher will.” The greater good. The higher purpose. Getting our directions from the thing that makes our hearts beat and tells the flowers when to open. The great mystery. 

Mystery doesn’t give you a play by play. A step by step process. It gives you an urge. It gives you a ping. It gives you a nagging feeling.

Go ahead, play the mystery game.

I’m with you. 

 

 

 

A Note on Worthiness

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We believe that we'll take care of ourselves once we hit that goal.

We believe that we'll feel relaxed around food if only we could get to our "goal weight."

We believe that if we had more money or time we would most certainly get massages and buy that yoga studio membership.

We believe that we would definitely meditate, journal, and breathe deeper if only we had a couple more hours in the day.

But the truth is... these things will never be a priority unless they're a priority NOW. 


And a lot of times the reason we have these "if only this, THEN I would be better.." thoughts is because we believe that somehow we're not worthy of the things we want NOW. 

We believe that if we EARN our right to relax, then we will finally relax.

We believe that if we do something to DESERVE the self care, then we'll take care of ourselves. 

We keep ourselves on the hamster wheel of doing.

Always working towards the next thing. 

Because... what would we be if just.... stopped. 

We would be OURSELVES, just as we are.. and unfortunately, most of us have decided through past experiences and programming that we are not good enough as we are.

Somewhere in the shadowy depths of our psyche there is this voice that says, "You're not worthy or eating in a relaxed way, until you're 20 lbs lighter," 

or

 "You don't deserve to spend money on a massage since you don't make as much money as your husband."

or

"How could I possibly take a day to myself when I am mother of young children that need me!?" 

or

"I can't take time to meditate and connect to myself, then I might actually 'see' what's going on in my mind!"

So the problem is; when we make our self care or worthiness contingent upon other actions or external sources, we will never get THERE. 

That's not the way this way of thinking works.

It's insatiable.

We've gotta get to the root of it all: the perceived unworthiness.

We've gotta believe we are worthy of all we want before we give ourselves all we want.

We've gotta believe we're worthy of a massage, a day of blissful free time to ourselves, or a new sweater, for no reason other than we want it.

We've gotta believe that even if we watch hours of TV we're still worthy of feeling good. 

We've gotta believe that even if we just ate a whole pizza we're worthy of being loved.

We'll never do enough to earn the right to relax. We may try, but we'll just play over and over in our head all the things we should have done or still need to do.

We've gotta just relax when we need it.

We'll never "catch up" up enough to slow down, if we're constantly playing into the story that we're behind. 

We've gotta just stop when we need to.

We'll never make enough money to deserve to spend it freely on ourselves if we believe we aren't worth what we want right now.

We've gotta invest in ourselves and our future and trust ourselves enough to believe we'll make the correct choices.

Because, Worthiness is not given or earned; it is CLAIMED.

If you're ready to address the seed of your perceived unworthiness book a 30 min self love clarity call with me here. 

 

 

Shame is Not a Motivational Speaker

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t’s kinda crazy how we think using shame is going to motivate us into “staying in line.”

When you want someone else to do something for you.. do you “shame” them?

I hope not. When I’m asking a favor of someone or I want to motivate someone to do something I generally find something to compliment about them (authentically of course) or assure them how powerful/strong/smart/resilient they are.

It works so much better to treat people with kindness. 

So.. if we want ourselves to make a change, why don’t we “butter” ourselves up a bit?

Why don’t we assure ourselves how loved, loving and lovable we are?

Shame makes us shrink. It makes us scared, fearful, and downtrodden.

Love makes us blossom & expand.

When we speak #onlylove to ourselves we start to see the incredible amount of potential we have to create the changes we want to see in our lives and the world.

Shame is not a motivational speaker and you can never get more love through fear, threats, or misery.

Only Love creates more love.

So give up self-shaming right here and right now. I'm with you. 

Are you ready for a new way to deal with compulsive unhealthy eating? Check out the free training going on right now to discover my 3 step process for stopping unhealthy eating patterns through self-love, not self-shame. --> https://livetrainingnow.com/clara-wisner/free-training