self love with clara

What to do with Worry

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Are you a worrier? 

Do you find yourself posing hypothetical situations of doom and gloom in your head all day long? 

Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you find yourself thinking about the future in a way that takes away from your present tense experience and brings down your overall “vibe” more often than you’d like?

I teach classes about health and wellness all over the world and the most common thing people tell me they suffer from is…. anxiety, which is really just another name for worry. 


Sometimes we feel like worrying is a necessary part of life. If we didn’t worry, how would we prepare ourselves for all the possible terrible outcomes of any given situation? 

If we didn’t worry, we might get caught “off guard”.. which would be the worst, right?

I’ll let you in on a little secret, worrying steals our joy. In fact, I am going to argue that worry is actually a form of self harm.

We worry when something good is happening. We worry when something bad is happening. We worry when nothing is happening. We take on other people’s worry. And without intentionally choosing to focus on what is going well, over and over again, we are literally putting ourselves in a position where we could spend our lives not enjoying anything to its fullest, which would be a complete and utter shame. 

Research has found we tend to think “good” things happening to us will make us happier than they actually do and that “bad” things happening to us will make us sadder than they actually do. This is to say; it truly is all about our perspective and how we see the world. Not about what actually happens to us.


Ok, so are you ready to intentionally choose a new perspective the next time you worry or experience anxiety? 

Are you willing to make your feelings of worry or anxiety be the alert in your own mind that it is time to choose a new thought? 

Here’s a practice that I find very useful when I’m dealing with worry or anxiety: 

  • Notice yourself worrying about something. 

  • Let go of the worry-thoughts, shifting your focus away from them

  • Wonder: What positive new thing is trying to come into being? 

  • Notice a body feeling (not a thought or an idea) of where that positive new thing is trying to come through. 

  • Open your focus to feel that body feeling deeply.

  • Let yourself feel it deeply for as long as you possibly can

  • Later, you will get an actual idea of how this new positive thing is trying to come through.

How this works in practice: 

  • I’m walking down the street on a Saturday afternoon. I pass a clothing store where I have bought some fabulous pieces of clothing over the years. About fifteen seconds later I notice some worrying thoughts about money. Specifically, the worry-thoughts are about whether we have enough money to do all the marketing for business I’m planning on doing. 

  • I notice the worry-thoughts and let them go, just dropping them mid-thought without pursuing them. (Meditation helps with this aspect, as it trains you to see your thoughts but not following them.)

  • I wonder what positive thought is trying to come through. 

  • I feel a pleasant sensation in my throat. 

  • As I walk along, I let myself feel it thoroughly, savoring the pleasant sensation. 

  • A few minutes later, getting into my car, the insight occurs to me that seeing the clothes in the window triggered a wave of guilt about the level of abundance my husband and I enjoy, compared with other members of our family. Seeing the clothing also sparked a feeling of how much I love and appreciate my husband, and how much he doesn’t balk or give me criticism for my love of beautiful material things. I sit in my car for a few moments before turning on the engine, letting myself enjoy the feelings of how much I love and appreciate my husband, and how much I enjoy the prosperity we’ve created in our lives. I realize there is not physical object that could express those feelings. They exist in the nonmaterial world, in the feeling of flowing connection between us. 

  • I pick up my phone and call Sean. He’s out doing errands too, and it turns out he’s two blocks away from where I’m sitting in the car. I tell him the sequence I just experienced from the glance in the window to the worry-thoughts to the delicious moment of letting myself feel the overflow of love and appreciation for him. I say, “Let’s make sure we take more time to celebrate what we have.” 

  • He agrees and I head home.

  • I create more good feelings, feelings of overflow, abundance, and gratitude, RIGHT NOW, and not only that, I created these feelings because of the worry-thoughts. Because they were the perfect impetus to remind myself how much I have. I used the worry-thoughts as a jumping off point.

You are Gold, Baby. Solid Gold.

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Myth: I am not good enough.

Magic: I am a magnificent being in the process of becoming more magnificent.

This empowering truth runs through all the world’s great traditions. If you study what the founders + mystics of those traditions taught, you will find that they highlight our innate worth rather than reinforce our weakness. They celebrate our inner fire rather than focus on the threat of hell fire.

The truth is, at your core, you are GOLD. Anything you’ve done, failed at, built stories around is the MUD.

And just like mud covering up solid gold, the stories don’t change the value of the gold. It might make it hard to see at times. It might get confusing + messy + deep.. but the gold at your core doesn’t change.

Your mistakes are not who you are.

Your story is not who you are.

Remember you are gold baby, solid gold.

I’m with you.


Winter Solstice Self Care Ritual

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I love thinking of living our lives in congruence with the seasons. Winter is a time for reflection, inward movement, rest and just ‘being.’

However, with the holidays in full swing sometimes this time of year can feel anything but restful.

If you’re searching for something to make you feel cherished and cared for.. give the gift of the following ritual to yourself.

If you want to learn more tips and tricks and hear about how you can join a 30 day cleanse + restore group process I invite you to register for the cleanse +restore 2019 online workshop on January 3rd, 2019 at 1pm MST.

Here’s the steps to your winter solstice self care ritual..

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com.

[and if you need a yoga mat, please choose an eco-friendly one. Here is a sweet guide to help you through the decision.]

Step 2: Dry Skin brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here.

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities.

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find out your dosha here.

For this step I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. Buy your CPTG oils here.

[Here’s a report from a consumer advocate group that found doTERRA’s to be the purest essential oils on the market.]

I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself + telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things.

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful.

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate. I love the Love Rising Podcast and the insight timer app.

When you’re ready to rise self care rituals like this show the universe you are ready to start to honor your body + your needs.

Take a picture of some part of this process and post instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. We’re all in this together!