spiritual healing

It's All Connected

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“It’s all connected. Your gifts, your circumstances, your imperfections, your destiny, your journey. It’s molding you. Embrace it.” 

I read this quote yesterday and it was one of those ah-ha moments. These moments sometimes hit me like a ton of bricks. Like someone’s been trying to explain something to me, and I’m kind of getting it, but then it all falls into place, and I see the tunnel of light leading me out of the darkness. 

You know what I mean? 

This clarity seems likes it’s never more than a split second, a little flash of Truth. Your head coming up for air, and looking around, and realizing that you thought you were drowning but you’ve actually been choosing to swim under water. 

But then, you dunk right back under and start the struggle again. Ah..so is life. The problem is, we’ve got so much momentum built up around our suffering, our struggles, our story, and staying in our heads. This momentum keeps doing things we know don’t work, just because we’ve done them before. Keeps us stuck, in a rut, spinning our wheels with the same beliefs and expectations for ourselves, because it’s “known”. 

However, these flashes of clarity, more and more leave me with a resonance. Even when I’m back under water, drowning in all the to dos, the need to’s, the plans, the expectations, I have this trace of remembrance, like something right on the tip of my tongue. A remembering that life can be sweet, simple, easy, and beautiful. A knowing that all is well and right. 

This quote gave me that flash of “I’ve got it!” 

An, “Oh my god!” moment. All of this struggle, all of this doubt, all of this uncertainty, it’s all part of IT. It’s sharpening my knife of capability. It’s strengthening my resolve. It’s molding me into who I need to be to be the best life-player I can be. 

How cool is that? That I can see all the challenges I’m being presented with in my life as opportunities to hone my skills. And trust that it is all happening FOR me and not TO me. How cool is it that we all get the choice to see our challenges this way, if we choose to. 

Another mantra I’ve been repeating to myself lately is, “My circumstances are not who I am, they are where I am.” Circumstances can change in an instant. The fact that you are 30 years old, living with your parents and jobless, does not make you a worse person than your friend who is the same age and makes six figures has designer furniture and a laberdoodle. 

Our circumstances do not define us. The help us. They lead us towards the lessons we need to learn to be the best possible us we can be. 

I know, I know, this might sound totally cheesy, but I’m writing this as much for myself as all of you. When we look at the hardships in our lives as stepping stones, leading us home, we can come up for air more often. 

We can bask in the luminosity of divine guidance and presence.

We can have trust and faith that we can choose to see this moment as an opportunity to come home. 

To remember our innate worthiness. 

To lighten-up. 

To get out of our head and back into our precious bodies. 

So, for anyone out there struggling to make sense of things, struggling to get out of bed in the morning, or to take care of themselves, remember: 

“It’s all connected. Your gifts, your circumstances, your imperfections, your destiny, your journey. It’s molding you. Embrace it.” 

What I Know for Sure

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1. I am Supported

I know that we live in a benevolent universe. I know that every single thing that happens to you, to me, to everyone is part of something that is supporting us through a journey of learning to love more deeply, more comprehensively, and more totally. 

I know shitty things happen. I know painful things happen. I know experiences and people can be unfair, overwhelming, and seemingly hopeless. But I also know that when we feel the burn of hurt, it’s the exact opportunity to give in, to crack open, to say, “I don’t know the answers,” and let ourselves be guided by this Universal support. It’s simple, but not always easy. 

2. Self-Love is the Always the Answer

Out of every single person in the world, I am the only one who knows what it feels like to be me.  I am the only person who hears how I hear, who sees how I see, who loves the way I love, who experiences sadness in my way, who understands joy the way I’m meant to. I am, was and will be, with myself. It’s the one thing I can always guarantee. If I don’t love me, I’m in a very difficult situation. 

When we put our happiness, worthiness, or valuation in someone or something else, we are saying something else matters more than our own sovereignty. When we say to ourselves consciously or unconsciously, “For me to be happy, I need him to love me,” or “I’ll really be myself when I lose these last 10 pounds,” we are literally saying someone or something else has control over how much we are worth, how much we deserve, and how much we have. 

It doesn’t matter how much love you get from other people. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like or how many pretty, awesome, expensive things you have. If you don’t love yourself, it’s all just a guise, a false front. Self-love, loving ourselves honestly and fully, is the key to having a fulfilling life. It’s the key to everything I care about and want to care about. 

3. I am Responsible for EVERYTHING that Happens to Me

(See last week’s blog post about the differences between responsibility, fault, and blame for more clarification.)

This is the most empowering statement I can think of. Living in this space is the space where miracles happen. It is where we take control of our lives, our fates, and our happiness. 

People always rally against this idea though.They want to say, “but what about when my husband cheated on me?” or “what about when my dad died in a car wreck?” Yes, these awful things happen, and they hurt and they are not your fault. But you do get to decide what you do with it. You do get to decide how you react. You do get to decide how you see what’s left after the bomb drops. 

4. Where There is Fear There is Power (or Real Vulnerability Makes Us Invulnerable)

This will be it’s own blog post someday I’m sure. But I know that true power lies in being exactly who you are. Being exactly who you are means no hiding, no pretending, and no covering up. The paradox is that only when we become completely vulnerable, do we become invulnerable because there is nothing else to figure out. Every place we feel fear it’s because there is a part of ourselves we haven’t totally integrated. As we become a fully integrated, self-realized human being, we realize we held the power all along. 

 

We are bigger, braver and kinder than we could ever imagine. Remember that. 

 

Only Love, 

 

Clara