what i know for sure

What to do with Worry

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I heard a quote from Abraham Hicks the other day: “Worry is just putting yourself in the future without the resources you have right now.” 

As the ever-loving Universe would have it we’re always being offered lessons. The exact right information comes at the exact right moment when we’re ready to receive it. Hearing this statement was one of those synchronistic moments for me.  

I am a very anxious person by nature. My brain is on hyper alert all the time. I’m the type of person that wants to solve everything and everything done right now. Someone doesn’t text me back immediately? They’re probably dead. You don’t answer the phone? You’re dead in my mind. My husband leaves the house in a car. He’s probably going to die. 

I know how ridiculous this sounds (although I’m willing to bet a lot more people than you would think can relate to these thoughts pretty well). Luckily, with my spiritual practice and the effort I’ve put into the development of my higher self, these anxious, crazy thoughts don’t really get a hold on me at all anymore. I can watch them and let them go. 

But my anxiety does create more struggle in my life sometimes. I get very anxious about returning emails. I get anxious about not “taking advantage” of my time. I get anxious about if I’m being productive enough. I get anxious about planning things and making sure plans are carried out.The list goes on. So when I heard this quote about worrying being putting yourself in the future where you don’t have the resources you have right now it clicked. 

When we worry or get anxious about things that might or might not happen we aren’t giving ourselves any good options. We’re literally putting ourselves out in total pure potential land (the future) with no grounding presence of now. We don’t have our breath. We don’t have our feet on the ground. We don’t have our five senses. We don’t know what we’ll feel like, or how much sleep we might have get. 

So what do we do with worry? What do we do when our powerful little monkey minds just spin out on some awful scenario or tangent? 

We come back to now. We take a deep breath. We feel our feet on the ground. We engage our senses. 

We ask ourselves, “Is there something I can do about this situation right now?” 

Now, if you were worrying about whether or not you left the coffee maker on, you could technically do something about that. You could go back home and check the coffee maker. You could text your partner at home and ask them to check it. So if there does happen to be something you can do about worry subject. Go ahead and DO IT. 

However, if there is nothing you can do about the situation you are worrying about right now, then this is when you can start to engage presence and take your power back. You shift your focus. Focus on your sternum, or your heart, or somewhere in your physical body. Close your eyes and breathe into that place. Notice how the air feels on your skin. Taste. Smell. Be present. 

And just like that we’ve let go of worry and reclaimed our power, right now, in the present where we belong. 

This may seem very simple, and it is. But that doesn’t mean it should be discounted. The answer is more often than not..simple. It does take practice and discipline to focus our minds, so although this can work really well in the moment, it’s also something that can be more effective if you calm and focus your mind on a regular basis through a meditation or mindfulness practice of some sort. 

Peace be with you, my friends. 

What I Know for Sure

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1. I am Supported

I know that we live in a benevolent universe. I know that every single thing that happens to you, to me, to everyone is part of something that is supporting us through a journey of learning to love more deeply, more comprehensively, and more totally. 

I know shitty things happen. I know painful things happen. I know experiences and people can be unfair, overwhelming, and seemingly hopeless. But I also know that when we feel the burn of hurt, it’s the exact opportunity to give in, to crack open, to say, “I don’t know the answers,” and let ourselves be guided by this Universal support. It’s simple, but not always easy. 

2. Self-Love is the Always the Answer

Out of every single person in the world, I am the only one who knows what it feels like to be me.  I am the only person who hears how I hear, who sees how I see, who loves the way I love, who experiences sadness in my way, who understands joy the way I’m meant to. I am, was and will be, with myself. It’s the one thing I can always guarantee. If I don’t love me, I’m in a very difficult situation. 

When we put our happiness, worthiness, or valuation in someone or something else, we are saying something else matters more than our own sovereignty. When we say to ourselves consciously or unconsciously, “For me to be happy, I need him to love me,” or “I’ll really be myself when I lose these last 10 pounds,” we are literally saying someone or something else has control over how much we are worth, how much we deserve, and how much we have. 

It doesn’t matter how much love you get from other people. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like or how many pretty, awesome, expensive things you have. If you don’t love yourself, it’s all just a guise, a false front. Self-love, loving ourselves honestly and fully, is the key to having a fulfilling life. It’s the key to everything I care about and want to care about. 

3. I am Responsible for EVERYTHING that Happens to Me

(See last week’s blog post about the differences between responsibility, fault, and blame for more clarification.)

This is the most empowering statement I can think of. Living in this space is the space where miracles happen. It is where we take control of our lives, our fates, and our happiness. 

People always rally against this idea though.They want to say, “but what about when my husband cheated on me?” or “what about when my dad died in a car wreck?” Yes, these awful things happen, and they hurt and they are not your fault. But you do get to decide what you do with it. You do get to decide how you react. You do get to decide how you see what’s left after the bomb drops. 

4. Where There is Fear There is Power (or Real Vulnerability Makes Us Invulnerable)

This will be it’s own blog post someday I’m sure. But I know that true power lies in being exactly who you are. Being exactly who you are means no hiding, no pretending, and no covering up. The paradox is that only when we become completely vulnerable, do we become invulnerable because there is nothing else to figure out. Every place we feel fear it’s because there is a part of ourselves we haven’t totally integrated. As we become a fully integrated, self-realized human being, we realize we held the power all along. 

 

We are bigger, braver and kinder than we could ever imagine. Remember that. 

 

Only Love, 

 

Clara