Discipline Is Slowing Down

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What if I told you that to be disciplined you’ve got to slow down?

We all think we need more discipline, but what we really think when we think discipline is "willpower." 

We think if only we had more willpower we would love ourselves more. We would stop eating sugar. We would go to the gym everyday. We would do more exciting things and have more exciting lives.

This is a lie.

You don’t need more willpower. You need more discipline.

Discipline requires you to decide what your values are and act on those values even when in the short term it isn’t exactly fun. Discipline comes after you’ve experienced the downfall of lack of discipline. Discipline requires wisdom and long term thinking.

Willpower is the idea that we can ‘will’ ourselves to do something. We can’t.

One the most important things I’ve ever heard is devotion and love will always outlive drive and motivation. And devotion requires the wisdom and repetition of discipline.

So how do we grow discipline?

One might argue that we grow discipline with willpower.

But I don’t see it that way at all. The idea that we have to “fight” ourselves in anyway to get what we want is just falling back into the old paradigm of “life is hard” and that we have to “work more” and “sacrifice” to “build something for ourselves.” The paradigm that the world is a difficult place to be. This is an old and tired way of thinking. It’s boring and it’s ran its course. 

How we really build discipline is by committing to slowing down and asking ourselves meaningful questions.

To grow discipline we engage in mindfulness when we eat, when we talk, when we listen, when we live

It’s simple. Just slow down. Watch what you’re actually doing. Let eating food be enough, don’t work while eating. Let walking to your car or to the next store be enough and don’t check your phone for the 100th time that day. Think about what you’re saying before you say it. Really listen to people when they talk.

We build discipline by slowing down and listening to what the soft animal of our body actual wants and doing that. It’s as simple as stopping the autopilot of life.

It’s so surface-level-attractive to speed up in life. To distract, escape, and avoid. But to live a life of intention and soul-led-purpose we’ve gotta slow down.

Slowing down doesn’t mean that you can’t get anything done. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you’ll probably get more done. But you will “lean” out your to do list. Activities that seemed like life or death may get dropped. You may find yourself engaging with different people or groups or even switching careers.

But don’t be afraid to slow down badly at first. Just give it a try. Notice how many times a day you check your phone just to fill space. Notice that you feel frantic most of the time. Notice that you literally don’t stop or take a deep breath all day.

Awareness starts to decondition. And it is the key to a mindful life. So start there. See what happens.

How are you building discipline this week by slowing down?

What Do Instead Of Making a New Year's Resolution

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During this time of year there is a big emphasis on setting goals and “bettering” ourselves. Sayings like “new year, new you” are everywhere. People are setting aggressive money saving, weight loss, dietary, or workout goals. I’ve seen a lot of people on social media saying thing to the gist of.. “2018 was a terrible a year, but here I come 2019. I’m going to turn it all around.” 

hmmm…

As much as I love goals and focusing on how to bring more intentional design to our lives, new years resolutions aren’t the way we successfully shift our lives.

Here are some harrowing statistics.. 

These aren’t hopeful …

So instead of engaging in something we know doesn’t work for most people, what can you do to actually make 2019 one of the best of your life?

Most of us have broken promises to ourselves much more than we have kept promises to ourselves. What would happen if you had a friend who said they would meet you for coffee at specific date and time and kept either no-showing to the date or making up last minute excuses? You probably wouldn’t trust them. Same goes with ourselves.

When we tell ourselves we’re going to loose weight or save money or change our diet or do more exciting things and we just continue to do the same things we’ve always done, we start to break trust with ourselves. We stop trusting ourselves. 


Then when we set big goals that involve intensive changes to the status quo it’s only a few days or at most a few weeks before we break our promise and go back to our old ways. 

Think about it this way..you’re not going to go on a week long trip to Mexico with your friend who keeps no-showing on you for coffee and you’re not going to trust yourself to eat “clean” and work out every day when you’re not even able to wake up an hour earlier each morning.

So what we need to do is build trust with ourselves in small ways. We need to go for the low hanging fruit. We need to make small changes that are relatively easy and build up from there. The daily habits. This isn’t a sexy proposition, as most people want to make big sweeping changes and see big sweeping results.. but big sweeping results are built from small, steady, consistent daily habits. 


I don’t want to completely disregard goal setting, so I do strongly encourage you to set S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals for one, three and five years in the future. These an adjust and change as our lives and desires do, but we should always have a plan for where we’re headed if we want to live an intentional, consciously created life. 

However, the most important thing to do during this time of year when we’ve got all the fresh, new year energy is to choose five daily habits you know would make you feel better right now, in this moment.

We don’t want to focus on what we want to change as that is heavy and brings into focus how far we’ve got to go. Not a very motivating thought. But we do want to think about what could we do right now that would make us feel better, right now. That feels doable and empowering. Then make those actions daily habits by committing each one for 30 days before adding the new one.

Here are some examples of daily habits I’ve used this method with. 

  • Drink half your body weight in ounces (eg if you weight 200 pounds you would drink 100 ounces of water) in filtered water each day. 

  • Consistently take my supplements.

  • Add green veggies to every meal

  • Meditate for 20 minutes each morning (this could be 5 minutes if you’re new to mindfulness).

  • Sweat each day

  • Spend one hour undistracted with your partner or kids in the evening

  • Stop work at 6pm 

These daily habits are what is going to build a foundation upon which you trust yourself and keep your own promises to yourself.

So what are is the first daily habit you’re going to adopt this new year? 

 

4 Things I Learned From Doing "Nothing"

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From Christmas eve until January 3rd, I did absolutely nothing. 

Well, that’s not totally true..I did nothing for anyone else. I only did exactly what I wanted to do; moment by moment. I gave myself all the freedom. On the night of December 23rd, I put my phone in airplane mode and didn’t turn it back off until the morning of the 3rd.

No texts.

No emails.

No social media.

No messages.

No way for anyone to get a hold of me. 


So what did I actually do? I traveled to Sedona, Arizona and… 

  • I went to a 75 minute hot yoga class every morning.

  • I hiked around 40 miles over the course of 9 days.

  • I went to a new years eve 3 hour chanting and meditation session with a bunch of strangers that all turned into good friends.

  • I got a 90-min facial, a 90-min massage and my nails done. All in the same day. 

  • I met up with an old friend.

  • I watched a movie called “Call me by Your Name”.. it was really good, highly recommend it.

  • I slept in late.

  • I journaled and wrote about my dreams and aspirations. 

  • I honed those dreamy, free-writings into accomplishable 1 year, 3 year and 5 year goals. 

  • I broke the one year goals down into quarterly, monthly, weekly tasks, and even daily tasks.

  • I ate a lot of delicious food and chocolate and organic green juice.

  • I took about 5 long, hot baths

  • I went to a sound bath. 

  • I went to an ecstatic dance class.

  • I mapped out my travel for 2019.

  • I saw and explored the grand canyon.

  • I hung out in an airport watching silly holiday movies.

  • I read two books. 

  • I meditated for at least 40 minutes each day. 


I gave myself the gift of doing exactly what I wanted. So here’s 4 truths I’ve learned from giving myself what I most needed and wanted.

  1. Sometimes the best thing we can do for those around us is to give something to ourselves. Sacrifice can stunt those we think we’re helping. When we are true to ourselves, we help others be true to themselves.

  2. Even if we run our own business and have no employees or support, or have a super demanding job, we can totally disconnect without the world falling apart if we decide it’s what we need. We are responsible for how our lives unfold. The choice for what happens next in our lives is always our own. 

  3. People will always take whatever you give, and be happy with it. So it’s more up to you to decide how much you want to give (see number 1) and know that it will always be just the right amount. It’s up to you to temper your own giving.

  4. Our own self-care and self-honoring sets an example to anyone we come into contact with. Our own steadiness is our greatest gift to the ones around us. What we give and how we give can change the world—and we are always giving and teaching by our example. -or- How we live is our greatest gift to the world.

Sending you tidings of joy, love, and the deep knowledge that you are worthy of what you most want to give and receive in this world. The power is in your hands.









Winter Solstice Self Care Ritual

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I love thinking of living our lives in congruence with the seasons. Winter is a time for reflection, inward movement, rest and just ‘being.’

However, with the holidays in full swing sometimes this time of year can feel anything but restful.

If you’re searching for something to make you feel cherished and cared for.. give the gift of the following ritual to yourself.

If you want to learn more tips and tricks and hear about how you can join a 30 day cleanse + restore group process I invite you to register for the cleanse +restore 2019 online workshop on January 3rd, 2019 at 1pm MST.

Here’s the steps to your winter solstice self care ritual..

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com.

[and if you need a yoga mat, please choose an eco-friendly one. Here is a sweet guide to help you through the decision.]

Step 2: Dry Skin brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here.

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities.

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find out your dosha here.

For this step I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. Buy your CPTG oils here.

[Here’s a report from a consumer advocate group that found doTERRA’s to be the purest essential oils on the market.]

I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself + telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things.

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful.

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate. I love the Love Rising Podcast and the insight timer app.

When you’re ready to rise self care rituals like this show the universe you are ready to start to honor your body + your needs.

Take a picture of some part of this process and post instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. We’re all in this together!




Part 3: How I Stay Organized | The Steps to Clearing Space

So over the past few weeks I’ve been writing on the mindset of organization, the tools to stay organized, and this week is about brining it all together for a check list on how to stay organized, focused, and forward moving.

The biggest thing about getting things done, staying organized, and focused is to the way you perceive time.

Do you see time as a precious resource?
Do you see time as something that there is never enough of? 

Or do you tend to feel like you can make time up later? 

Are you a procrastinator or a doer? 

Do you consistently underestimate how long things will take or overestimate them? 

Know thyself, as they say, and it will be much easier to figure out what is at the bottom of your lack of focus or organization or struggle to meet the goals you set for yourself. 

Did you know that if we work 40 hrs/week and sleep 8 hours per night we still have 72 hours/week of time? Seems like a lot right? So what is this obsession with having no time? 

There is always a reason for EVERYTHING we do. Self sabotage? The sabotaging behavior is there for a reason. Instead of rallying against the behavior ask yourself what is that behavior giving you? Do you feel constantly unorganized? This is just resistance and an easy way to distract ourselves from our bigger work. Feeling unfocused or overwhelmed? It’s just a lack of priorities.

So the key to focus, organization and forward movement is always reevaluating, reflecting, and being aware of where your time is going and what stories you are telling yourself around it. So here’s the steps to getting organized you can do right now. **these steps are inspired by Ange Peter’s “Beautiful Life Lab”. 

  1. Write down three “stories” or “beliefs” you hold about time. This could be vague like “there is never enough time,” to specific like, “Having three kids means I have far less time than someone with one kid.” or “I don’t have time to meal plan because my job is super demanding.” or “I am more easily overwhelmed than others” These don’t necessarily have to be untrue, it’s just getting clear on what is going through your head when it comes to time. 

  2. Track your time by the half hour for at least three days. So for each half hour from when you wake up to when you go to sleep, write down what you did. 

  3. After you’ve tracked your time; total the amount of time you spent in these four categories: career, self care, relationships, personal development. You can also denote how much time you spent in the following categories: cleaning, exercise, family, driving, hobbies, sleeping, TV, eating/meal prep, social media, day dreaming. 

  4. When you’ve done this you’ve got a really good idea of where your time is leaking away. So take measures, set intentions to shift that. For example, if you spend way more time than you thought you did watching TV, you could move the TV out of the living room so you don’t have the temptation or set some sort of boundary on what you watch and stick to it. 

Once you’ve taken off your plate the most time-leaky behaviors you’ll be way better set up to create the spaciousness and clarity you need to take aligned action and not be a slave to your time perception stories. 

Good luck, loves! 

For a chance to win an essential oils starter kit, post a picture of you doing your organization steps on instagram and tag me @revolutionarylifestyle. 



Part 2: How I Stay Organized | The Tools

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Last week I wrote about the mindset of staying organized, managing your time, making time for the things you value most, and reaching your goals. This week let’s get into the tools I use for time management, goal setting and staying organized, and next week in the final piece of the series I’ll tie it all together.

Number one tool I use all day e’rrr day is google calendar. If you want to be more organized or are confused or at a loss about how to make more time for yourself and the things you value and you don’t have a calendar system, get one stat. It will create healthy boundaries around your time, plus take a lot of the decision fatigue out of your days, so you save your precious brain power for the important stuff. I love using the digital system because then it can sync with other peoples’ calendars, people can send me invites to meetings or appointments, and I can edit it from any of my devices; so it’s always available. Key here is using it religiously; for everything.

I know this may not be for everyone, but I schedule EVERYTHING. I schedule my morning meditation practice, my workouts, my coffee dates with friends, entering all my expenses into quickbooks, and even date nights with the hubs. It doesn’t sound sexy, but it works, and it’s the only way I manage to be relatively highly productive while also never feeling like I’m “too busy.”

Now, of course sometime life happens and my schedule doesn’t go as planned, but that is the exception; not the rule.

The next tool I use the most is trello. This is a relatively new tool for me (thanks to Cass of the The Wellness Rookie for encouraging me to try it out). I used to use google sheets in a very similar way to trello, but trello is for sure more aesthetically pleasing and fun to use.

Trello works as a project management software. One key to being able to take consistent action on big, hairy projects and goals, is breaking down the big stuff into small daily tasks. If you want to write a book, you gotta write the first paragraph and the the first chapter, so it’s easier for our brains to focus on the small achievable tasks. I like to take my big goals or projects and break them down in to 2 hour tasks.

Trello’s boards, lists, and cards enable you to organize and prioritize your projects in a fun, flexible and rewarding way. Trello also syncs on all your devices so you can also refer back to your projects no matter you are. Again, accessibility is key to actually using it. I also love that no matter when or where inspiration strikes I can always make notes in trello so that when I’m ready to sit down and work I have all my notes and ideas in one place. This is incredibly useful for staying organized, but still tapping into inspiration which isn’t something that comes on demand.

For example, let’s say you’re committed to starting a blog and building an online following. You’ve read that putting out consistent content is a big part of attracting readers and search engine optimization. So you decide that you will spend one hour writing a blog post every Tuesday at 10am. You’ve got all sorts of ideas! But then Tuesday at 10am rolls around your mind is totally blank. Nothing seems exciting to write about. Now, if you had been keeping a list of topics every time inspiration struck you could look over that list and start writing away, Trello is a place to keep all the to-do lists and organize tasks.

We can’t talk about organization and time management without talking about how to arm yourself against the onslaught of distractions that is our daily life. You cannot be focused, responsible with your time, and intentional if you don’t have some sort of policy around email, texting, social media, etc.

The tools I use to make sure I’m not spending lots of time just scrolling or replying to emails are called “screen time” on my phone and “stay focused” on the computer.

Screen time is a feature available on all iPhones. This feature allows you to set time limits for certain applications. So, for example, I set a 30 min time limit for facebook and instagram so once my 30 min is up for the day the app itself is blocked off. Stay focused works the same way for websites on your browser. You can get similar programs for android phones as well.

These are the main “tools” I use for intentional time management and organization.

Next week I’ll be back with Part 3: How I Stay Organized | Life Design.

Part 1: How I Stay Organized | The Mindset

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I’ve been getting asked a lot lately about how I manage my time, stay organized, stay focused, and how I’ve created this lifestyle I have today which is location flexible, financially abundant, and completely by my own design. So I’ve been thinking about how to write this blog post in a way that is practical, helpful and concise, but of course.. I always have to start out with mindset.

Yes, I have a proclivity towards organization. My mind likes flow charts, lists, frameworks, and systems. I LOVE efficiency. I live to create systems that work for me and for others. It really does light me up. So don’t worry.. I’ll be getting into the nitty gritty in parts 2 and 3 over the next two weeks, but to start out I’ve got to lay some groundwork, which may not be as sexy, or as immediately gratifying, but is overwhelmingly important. 

The longer I have my business (revolutionary lifestyle has been in existence now for almost 5 years!), the more confidence and assuredness I have in my value and the more I respect the work I do. The more confident and respectful I am towards myself, the more I can focus and value the effort I put into to projects, clients, partnerships, etc. And this is huge. Having respect for your time, your effort and your value; will get you further than any organizational system ever will. So if you don’t respect your own value, your own time, your own service, start there.

There are so many people who want to change their lives. They want to help people, change the world, have location flexibility, have more time, and donate to all their humanitarian passion projects. That is wonderful. I truly believe everyone in the world can have exactly what they want; if they put their mind to it and take inspired action.

But..the fact of the matter is you will always have to do things you don’t want to do when going for goals that are outside where you currently are. If you want to live a location flexible life and you don’t currently have location flexibility, you are going to have to change some things. If you want to eat intuitively; you’ll have to change they way you eat. This seems obvious, but people miss this fact all the time.

Nothing changes unless you do. 

You absolutely have to put yourself out there if want to change your life significantly or create new habits or build some sort of income stream that you don’t already have. It’s going to be uncomfortable and awkward. You’ll absolutely fail at some things. You will absolutely have to expand what you think is possible. We hear and read these things, but then when we actually experience the growing pains of expansion; we feel like a failure, and quit.


But the difference between people that I see succeed and people I see struggling (and when I have taken on both of those roles myself) is that the people who succeed are completely willing to do the things they don’t want to do right now, to get to the place they want to be later. The people who succeed are actually excited about changing and the work involved. 


Let me say this clearly…this isn’t about sacrifice. I don’t believe we ever have to sacrifice in a conventional sense; we’ve got WAY too much of that going on. No one wants to be a martyr and it ain’t a great way to live. But it does mean looking long and hard at how much we want the things we want and deciding clearly and consciously what we are willing to do to get it. Tradeoff is a better word. Are you willing to trade in some comfort now to be more expanded later?

I am. Hell yes, I am. What is the point of life, if not this? 

My past self (the self that didn’t own a business or have a location flexible lifestyle) didn’t particularly like putting myself out there. She had a huge fear of rejection and was overwhelming skeptical and untrusting as a defense mechanism, to the point of cynicism (not a particularly good quality when you’re trying to build a business out of nothing). However, my current self (who has owned multiple profitable businesses and lives a completely location flexible lifestyle), loves sharing and being vulnerable and honest and sincere, and trusts people and sees that trustworthiness reflected back to me in my daily interactions with people.

So what allowed me to go from that past self to my current self? 

  1. A conscious decision to change the way I see the world, because in the world I was living in back then wasn’t one where twenty-somethings designed their lives.

  2. I started changing what I did with my time. I spent time writing, reading, and learning. I stopped spending time drinking alcohol, complaining about the world, and partying. 

  3. I found people who had lives like the one I wanted and I took their advice, almost blindly. (I DID NOT take the advice of people who did not have lives like I wanted.. important to note.. if your parents aren’t living a life of design, they’re not going to give you good advice on how to create one.) Podcasts, coaches, mentors, I absorbed as much as I could, and I took their advice and acted on it.

This is the mindset of change. This always has to be the first part to being focused, organized, and managing your time well, because without it, you don’t know why you’re focusing, organizing yourself, or managing your time. 

So figure out what the trade offs are and what you’re willing to trade in for the goal you want to achieve or the lifestyle you want. 

Looking forward to continuing this exploration of time management, organization and focus next week with Part 2: How I Stay Organized | The Tools. 

A New Concept of Sweetness

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I love fall.

I love the changing of the seasons.

The feeling of fall is this delightfully cozy energy of turning inward.

It’s the warm sweaters, cups of tea or golden milk and early nights.

The time of year when I always feel the once-I-get home-I’m-not-leaving-again vibes.

Even if you’re not in the wintery north like me, I’m willing to bet you’re feeling the shift of energy.

The other day I was getting super close to this “fall” energy, basking in it, you could say. Just allowing myself to relish the secure feeling and the crisp air.

How sweet it is to curl up under a blanket and read.

How sweet it is to get into bed earlier.

The sound of wood crackling on the fire is one of the sweetest sounds.

There is a reason we call our loved ones “sweetie” and “honey”.. it’s because sweetness and this feeling of coming home are linked in some way. The flavor of sweetness is synonymous to that of safety.

In our primal brains if we have something sweet to eat we know we’re nourished.

One of the reasons I believe people crave sweets so prolifically these days is that our lives are lacking this calm and intimate sweetness of life. So we try to fill the void with physical, flavors of sweetness.

Our lack of emotional and life sweetness translates to a craving for the flavor of sweetness.

So in this perfect of time year, let’s bring ourselves and our loved ones a little more life-sweetness.

Some ideas include:

  • Sleeping in a little longer and going to bed a little earlier.

  • Curling up on the couch with a blanket to watch an old favorite movie.

  • Bundle up and go on a walk to enjoy all the changing leaves colors.

  • Make yourself some golden milk.

  • Go buy at least 5 different teas you’re excited about trying and have a tea party.

  • Taking a nap in the middle of the day.

  • Buy yourself a new cozy sweater. I have been LOVING this one.

  • Draw yourself a bath with epsom salts and add medicinal grade essential oils like ylang ylang and cedar wood.

  • Create a night time ritual.

What does being sweet to yourself look like?

How can you capitalize on this beautiful inward shift of energy to give yourself a little more sweetness in your life?

Comment below and let’s bring on the sweetness!

Golden Milk Recipe

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Ingredients

**(this is to make a few cups of golden milk that you can then store and reheat or serve cold).

  • 2 cans full fat organic coconut milk or unsweetened almond milk

  • 1/4 cup dried organic turmeric powder

  • 1 TBSP ginger powder

  • 3 TBSP local honey

  • 1/4 cup MCT oil

  • 1 tsp fresh ground black pepper

  • 1 drop cardamon doTERRA essential oil

  • 1/4 cup collagen

  • Sprinkle cinnamon on the top when serving

Instructions:

  • Pour coconut milk or almond milk into a sauce pan and turn on medium heat

  • Add honey and MCT oil as it’s heating and whisk to mix together

  • When it comes to a simmer add the spices and collagen.

  • Let it simmer for a few minutes until all is well mixed together.

  • Pour into glass jar and let cool before closing up and storing in the fridge

  • **nice to add a little cardamon or cinnamon essential oils (doTERRA ONLY!) when serving.

  • You can drink it cold or warm or add to coffee in the morning and blend up for a frothy “latte”

You're Not Special

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You are not special.

But you are the ONLY you. 

Stay humble.

But CLAIM your worth, every moment. 

Not taking “no” for an answer.. isn’t the secret to success.

Working hard is necessary, but there are plenty of people who work much harder than you or me and make much, much less money.

How do you explain that? 

If we keep telling the same old tired “secrets to success” stories of how we worked harder than everyone else, we didn’t take “no” for an answer, or we stayed expertly focused, when other people were all over the place.. we’re perpetuating the narrative of “the harder you work; the more you deserve.”

Or “the more rejection you take, the more you deserve praise.”

Or ultimately, what I call the pain equals pleasure principle.

The more shit you take, the more enjoyment you deserve. 

I call major BS.

If this is the way we live… when do we get to ENJOY our lives? 

After we retire and we’ve forgotten how to relax and finally have free time but feel like we have no “purpose”?

After we’ve made millions of dollars and have severe adrenal fatigue, so we feel depressed and exhausted?

What about the people that work hard all their lives and have nothing to show for it? Do they just have to keep working hard forever?

This is not the world I choose to add to or live in.

In my world, ease gets me farther than struggle.

In my world, grace is more effective than mindless hustle.

In my world, wholesome, true enjoyment is always the main goal. 

In my world, enjoying the process is much more important than the destination.

We can do hard things, but not for the end goal.. we do the hard things because that is how we grow and it is what is required of us.

It is subtle and paradoxical because there is absolutely “hard work” involved in changing an entire paradigm and creating a life you love hard things and all… it is a commitment to choosing placing value in a different place. 

It requires discipline, no doubt, to shift your mindset and value your alignment with YOUR OWN truth over what society tells you.

But, our souls want badly to do our “work” and learn the lessons they came here to learn.

But the pain equals pleasure principle we all tend to operate under, doesn’t serve us in this purpose. It makes everything harder and keeps us slaves to our egos. 

Believing that pain equals pleasure, makes us feel that we don’t deserve the goodness and ease of our aligned work.

True humility is the realization that conventionally validated success or any success for that matter has nothing to do with us and us “making” it, but it is the universe doing all things through us.
We are simply an instrument.

This is bad news for the ego; but one of the most liberating and relieving truths for the soul.

You are not not responsible for anything except staying aligned with your own goodness and focusing on brining your soul-given purpose to each small task you are offered.

When you get out of your own way, and give up the idea that you could ever “make” anything happen, and start instead letting the universe create through you; miracles happen.

So stay humble and stop telling yourself you’ve got to work so damn hard.

Every single person on this earth is an instrument of God.

No one person is better than or more deserving of happiness than the other. And the amount you work is definitely not proportionate to how many blessings you get.

We are all equally blessed.

The moment you start to realize you’re not in control here, not only will things get insanely easier, you’ll also have a ton more fun.

So get out of your head and back into your LIFE. 

I’m with you. 

Follow the Urge

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As I’m writing this I am sitting by a stream in a camping area about an hour from my rural Montana home. No phone service. No internet. No sounds but the wind through the trees, a few birds chatting back and forth, and the stream rushing by.

I have come to crave this solitude; this feeling of nowhere to be and nothing to do. This feeling of total detachment from the buzz and hmmm of the electric world. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a “go-getter.” I’m ambitious and direct. I know what I want. Clarity has never been something I struggled to find. I’m a black and white thinker. I know what’s right and wrong. Most of my adult life so far as revolved around traveling the world or working to travel or working while traveling. 

Yet.. all of the sudden I feel the need to STOP. Be still. Just be. To be completely honest, it’s foreign. Sure, I love meditation. I truly believe that if all people took more time to contemplate and watch our thoughts, the world would be a much happier and healthier place. 

But this desire for stillness, is more than just a routine morning quiet time. It’s like a part of me that was always there, but in the shadows has come out into the light and is all the sudden driving and all the other parts of me are getting motion sickness. The constant movement to stillness. The raw ambition to the relative apathy. The pure clarity to the grey area. This new driving force of stillness is making me feel like I don’t quite know myself.

None of this is bad. It’s a form of growth. I can tell, a deeper awakening to myself and my power is imminent. My body and higher self are calling on me to SLOW DOWN. 

Listen. 

Take rest. 

“You’ll need your energy for what’s to come.”

A time of potential building and ripening. 

So all this is to say.. if you feel the urge to slow down too, follow it. If you feel a little “stuck” “lost” or “uninspired”, there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s part of our cyclical nature. We will always come back to the action. We will always come back to the desire to do. We contract and we expand. We have periods in our lives (sometimes very long periods) of creation and manifesting and periods of recuperating and stillness. 

We all live and we all die. 

The circle or the wave of life.

The struggle against this inevitable waning of life is what makes this aspect of life miserable.

When you go into a period of stillness, and instead of letting it offer you its insight, you fight and rally against it, you deny it and try to keep pushing, is when you elongate that period or make it more painful than it has to be. 

When you build the story of “failure” or “lazy” around a simple need for stillness, you rob yourself of the lessons it’s trying to teach you and elongate the whole process. 

 

If I have learned anything from my relatively short, but very full life it’s that the more we’re able to listen to our internal urges, those little nagging feelings, the “pings” of intuition, the more we’re following the path of least resistance. The path that will easily and fully lead us to where we need to go, what we need to learn, and who we need to be.

Sometimes those nagging feelings aren’t easy to follow. I can tell you firsthand, that my ego DOES NOT WANT to slow down. It wants to go. It wants to accomplish. It wants to MAKE IT HAPPEN. It wants to check the things off the list. It wants to get recognition and praise. So for me to follow this urge to come out to this place in nature with all distractions and connections severed, took a lot of higher-self-worth and trust. It’s a muscle you build over time and with practice. 

You start listening to the little nudges first. You take a different road on your drive home from work because you get the urge. You call that friend that keeps popping into your mind. You sit at the base of the tree in the park because it keeps grabbing your attention.

Then the smaller things turn into bigger things. You get the clear urge to go to Italy, so you plan a trip there. You get the clear urge to talk to your partner about that thing you’ve been hiding from him or her.

This is the way to start to tap into this path of living our lives in the path of the least resistance.  A flip to following “my will” to “the higher will.” The greater good. The higher purpose. Getting our directions from the thing that makes our hearts beat and tells the flowers when to open. The great mystery. 

Mystery doesn’t give you a play by play. A step by step process. It gives you an urge. It gives you a ping. It gives you a nagging feeling.

Go ahead, play the mystery game.

I’m with you. 

 

 

 

A Note on Worthiness

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We believe that we'll take care of ourselves once we hit that goal.

We believe that we'll feel relaxed around food if only we could get to our "goal weight."

We believe that if we had more money or time we would most certainly get massages and buy that yoga studio membership.

We believe that we would definitely meditate, journal, and breathe deeper if only we had a couple more hours in the day.

But the truth is... these things will never be a priority unless they're a priority NOW. 


And a lot of times the reason we have these "if only this, THEN I would be better.." thoughts is because we believe that somehow we're not worthy of the things we want NOW. 

We believe that if we EARN our right to relax, then we will finally relax.

We believe that if we do something to DESERVE the self care, then we'll take care of ourselves. 

We keep ourselves on the hamster wheel of doing.

Always working towards the next thing. 

Because... what would we be if just.... stopped. 

We would be OURSELVES, just as we are.. and unfortunately, most of us have decided through past experiences and programming that we are not good enough as we are.

Somewhere in the shadowy depths of our psyche there is this voice that says, "You're not worthy or eating in a relaxed way, until you're 20 lbs lighter," 

or

 "You don't deserve to spend money on a massage since you don't make as much money as your husband."

or

"How could I possibly take a day to myself when I am mother of young children that need me!?" 

or

"I can't take time to meditate and connect to myself, then I might actually 'see' what's going on in my mind!"

So the problem is; when we make our self care or worthiness contingent upon other actions or external sources, we will never get THERE. 

That's not the way this way of thinking works.

It's insatiable.

We've gotta get to the root of it all: the perceived unworthiness.

We've gotta believe we are worthy of all we want before we give ourselves all we want.

We've gotta believe we're worthy of a massage, a day of blissful free time to ourselves, or a new sweater, for no reason other than we want it.

We've gotta believe that even if we watch hours of TV we're still worthy of feeling good. 

We've gotta believe that even if we just ate a whole pizza we're worthy of being loved.

We'll never do enough to earn the right to relax. We may try, but we'll just play over and over in our head all the things we should have done or still need to do.

We've gotta just relax when we need it.

We'll never "catch up" up enough to slow down, if we're constantly playing into the story that we're behind. 

We've gotta just stop when we need to.

We'll never make enough money to deserve to spend it freely on ourselves if we believe we aren't worth what we want right now.

We've gotta invest in ourselves and our future and trust ourselves enough to believe we'll make the correct choices.

Because, Worthiness is not given or earned; it is CLAIMED.

If you're ready to address the seed of your perceived unworthiness book a 30 min self love clarity call with me here. 

 

 

How to Take Care of Your Vagina

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The title of this blog post has me a little nervous of what people will think of me…. just kidding. ; ) 

As women we have, in general, become very disconnected from our vaginas.

In my ever-expanding experience, and consequentially, my world view the physical is ALWAYS, always connected to the emotional, the spiritual and the mental. In a society that tends to restrict acceptable “femininity” to a small and confusing box, it’s no wonder that the physical representation of female power, feminine anatomy, is also experiencing a lot of restriction, shame, pain, and ultimately lack of true care.

My sisters! Our vaginas and womb-spaces are sources of deep, deep power. They are the source of literally all human life! They are the source of our deepest physical pleasure. This is why connecting to and living in tune with our monthly cycles is so healing. 

Our womanly power sources deserve better care, and I ain’t talking about Brazilian bikini waxes or labia reduction surgeries (which, by the way, is the fastest growing type of cosmetic surgery..WTF??). Brazilian waxes and labiaplasty are externally focused on ideas of what is “attractive” or “desirable” and have nothing to do with how we feel about our own bodies; when we’re alone. I’m talking about ancient methods of balancing our hormones, bringing non-judgmental love, attention and focus to this place in our bodies that holds so much intuitive power.

This area of our body is also the home of the root chakra, the energy center that deals with a sense of belonging and safety in the world. When it’s out of balance we can feel anxious, worrisome, unsafe, develop constipation, back pain, or eating disorders. 

To tap into the unbridled feminine power we’ve got to get super comfortable with and take really good care of our vaginas. 

I’ve got a lot to say about this subject, but to ease everyone into this I’ve decided to go over two practices that can help us care for our vagina and womb-space. 

  1. Vagina Steaming

Vaginal (aka yoni, the sanskrit word for vagina) steaming is an ancient practice that has been used for millennia in the eastern world. It is a practice in which a woman allows the warmth of herbal steam to permeate the exterior of her vagina. Respected by healers around the globe, vaginal steaming is an opportunity to reconnect with your body and utilize the wisdom of plant medicine to heal your cycle.

Vaginal steams have been found by women throughout history to:

  • Significantly reduce pain, bloating and exhaustion associated with menstruation.
  • Decrease menstrual flow as well as reduce dark purple or brown blood at the onset or end of menses.
  • Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles.
  • Increase fertility
  • Speed healing and tone the reproductive system after birth.
  • Reduce uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, uterine weakness, uterine prolapse & endometriosis.
  • Assist with the repair of a vaginal tear, episiotomy, or C-section scar.
  • Assist with the healing of hemorrhoids.
  • Relieve chronic vaginal/yeast infections, and works to maintain healthy odor.
  • Ease symptoms of menopause including dryness or pain during intercourse.
  • Detoxify the womb and remove toxins from the body.
  • Release stored emotions and tap into the energy that is our creative potential.

To give yourself a vaginal steam fill a large vase (you want about 2 quarts to 1 gallon of water) with almost boiling water, put about a cup dried balancing herbs (I like these ones but also check out these herbs that are considered good for vaginal steaming).

Place the vase in a clean toilet, remove all pants and underwear (or wear a skirt with no undies) so that you can place your vagina over the steam.

Then wrap your lower half in a blanket and enjoy the steam.

You want to sit for at least 20 minutes, closer to 40 minutes is ideal. Use this time to meditate, listen to music, or journal. Try not to read or get on your phone. Use this time to connect to your womb-space and secrets it has to tell you. 

 

2. Vaginal Egg Wearing 

A vaginal egg, jade egg, yoni egg or love egg – are names for a beautiful semiprecious stone carved into an egg shape and polished to be worn inside the vagina.

Female practice that involves using stone eggs is estimated to be 5000 years old. Eggs carved out of jade were used by empresses and concubines of the royal palace in China to access sexual power, awaken sensuality and maintain amazing health into their old age. For a very long time this secret practice was only available to members of the royal family, and up until recently – to select Taoist practitioners.

Vaginal egg wearing is known to have the following effects..

  • Increase libido and awaken your sensuality.
  • Increase natural lubrication – even after menopause.
  • Can help harmonize hormones.
  • Develop an intimate and loving relationship with your vagina, your entire body, and ultimately yourself.
  • Strengthen and tighten vaginal wall and increase sensitivity during intercourse.
  • Help to have easier orgasms
  • Assist in strengthening uterine muscles to prepare for childbirth and speed up recovery time after birth.
  • Strengthen pelvic floor to cure incontinence and prevent prolapse in the future.
  • Gain Control over the vaginal muscles.
  • Reduced PMS symptoms, menstrual cramps and the duration of the menses.

To learn more about vaginal egg wearing or get your own vaginal egg check out this website

 

What do you think? Are you up for trying this? Send me a line and let me know! 

 

 

You Are the Master of Your Mind

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“The mind was made to bless.” - A Course in Miracles.



I got a message from an audience member of mine talking about her struggle with disordered eating.

She asked me why her mind was so irrational. Why when she knew she should stop restricting, she just couldn’t get the self-negating thoughts about her looks & how much/what she was eating, to go away.

She asked, "How come my mind is so irrational? When will these thoughts stop?"

The not so sexy answer is.. the thoughts won’t stop, but you are SO much more than your thoughts. And as you put your thoughts/feelings back in their place (in the backseat, not the driver’s seat)...they start to matter less & less.

The goal can never be to get the thoughts to go away or stop, the goal always have to be disengaging from the thoughts & identifying with the part of you that is soo much more. That space in your heart that is full of mystery & expansion & knowing.

Your mind/thoughts/feelings can be your servants. Not your master. Identifying with & remembering the master in you is the work.. as you do that the thoughts relax & go where they should, toward blessing the world around you.

Our minds were not made to be constantly coming up with the worst case scenario. But unfortunately most of us have put them in charge of our lives & that is WAY out of our mind’s job description, so that’s how it copes.

The worry & the fear. The mental anguish. The irrational thoughts. Guard constantly up. Always looking for the next blow.

Let it go. 
Let the part of you that knows come forward & lead. Those pesky little thoughts will go from your worst enemy to your best friend when released from their unwarranted responsibility of keeping you safe.

As we decide to stop identifying with our mind/thoughts/feelings we discover the master quietly waiting in the background, in the stillness of our own hearts.

Let go.
Get quiet.
Spend time with yourself.
I’m with you.

9 Steps to Get Yourself Out of a Funk

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Here is an instructional post for you and me about how to pull yourself out of a funk. (this is for me to refer back to as well).

1. Decide to change your state. Notice that you are in a low vibe, frustrated, sad or angry state, then take your power back and decide to move into action to change your state. You can’t get to feeling good by doing more of something that is making you frustrated.

2. Drink at least 20 ounces of warmish water. Add one drop grapefruit essential oil (ONLY with doTERRA essential oils, you CANNOT ingest other oils) to give you that oomph of metabolism boost.

3. Roll some Rose Touch oil under your eyes and over your heart. Add a little peppermint oil behind your ears. BOOM!

4. Draw about 10 circles of cheer blend in the palm of your hand and run it through your hair. Breathe this juice in too - your brain will know what to do.

5. Get outside and get your barefoot on the ground. Find some plants to “talk” with and let them know how glad you are they are there.

6. Call a friend or your mom.

7. Help a friend or acquaintance with something they are feeling stuck in. Or simply do something nice for someone else. It is scientifically proven that helping people makes us feel better.

8. Send a few notes of gratitude to people who you haven’t talked to in awhile. Comment something nice and heartfelt on a friend’s post on social media.

9. Journal about what you are most excited about doing in the next couple months. Use some grapefruit + rosemary oil in the diffuser to help with a loving transition. Journal prompt: How can what I’m struggling with be made easy? What are some creative ways I can get what I need to get done in a way that is fun and feels good.

These 9 steps are guaranteed to get you in a better mood in no time.💪🏼



Wanna get on the dōTERRA oils train to get out of your funky mindset & be more productive?

Learn more: https://www.clarawisner.com/essentialoils/
Get Oils: https://www.clarawisner.com/purchase-doterra
Join my team: https://www.clarawisner.com/join-team-revolutionary-lifesty…

 
 

Do You Celebrate Yourself?

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This past week I reached a personal business goal of mine that I have been putting a lot energy & intention towards for a very long time.

A lot of working on weekends, taking trips away from my family, not taking part in social events, later work nights, longer days, sacrificing the pleasure of now for the pleasure of the long term.. all culminating this month.

There is something so incredibly satisfying about setting a goal and accomplishing it.

The intention is set. The decision is made. The challenge is accepted. The work begins. Energy is channeled toward the desired outcome.

Sometimes a goal comes more easily than we expected. 

Most the time we take a few wrong turns on the way. We might go backwards for a bit. We might lose track of the end goal in the details of getting there. A lot of times we are required to readjust the goal in one way or another. Change our expectations. Make exceptions. 

But if we continue to keep moving forward and train our mind to latch on to only love, we will always, eventually, make it to where we are supposed to, in perfect time.

After we reach the goal, we feel accomplished, maybe even overjoyed.

It’s in that space that I am now.

In the past I would (and I think a lot of people tend to do this as well) immediately move on to the next “bigger” and “better” goal. Or find the reasons why the goal I reached wasn’t really such an accomplishment, and play it down. I would rain on my own parade by immediately demanding more from myself. Comparing myself to others who had reached more “impressive” goals; downplaying all the joy.

But now, I choose to stop in the midst of this celebration of myself.

I choose to really revel in the fulfillment.

I choose to congratulate and love on the people who ran with me and made it possible (I would never pretend that I reach my goals on my own). 

I choose to see myself and my people; victorious.

To be still and create space around the feeling of jubilant satisfaction of truly creating something meaningful, and get really, really familiar with this feeling. Because I plan on having a lot more of it.

Part of the reason people can get so downtrodden, ambivalent, and lukewarm when it comes to the goals they set for themselves is that they have never actually let themselves FEEL how good it feels to create. They don't celebrate themselves.

That is one of the MOST motivating feelings ever.

Brene Brown says that joy is the most vulnerable of emotions. And it IS! If you really let yourself be truly joyful, the threat of you getting blindsided is greater. The part of ourselves that is protecting us from judgement, pain, and disconnection might feel that joy is actually something that needs to be tempered.

So we end up hedging our joy with an edge of down play. We temper our sunny celebration with a hint of grey skepticism. It makes a weird kind of sense. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So, today I choose to really & deeply experience this win of mine.

I choose to celebrate.

I choose to remember what it feels like to feel really, really satisfied.

Are you with me?

 

 

Can You Be Trusted with More?

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We talk a lot about what we wish we had. We tend to talk a lot about how “nice” it must be to have more money, a new car, a dream home, hired help, fancy vacations, great relationships and friends, and on and on. We tend to talk a lot with people and in our own heads about how things would be different if we just had a partner, or more money, or a different body. 

We don’t, however, spend a lot of time considering if we could actually handle what we say we wish we had.

Can you be trusted with more money, deeper relationships, more influence or power, a more fancy job, a nicer/bigger house, more happiness?

What if you were given everything you say you want tomorrow.. without going through the process of creating it.. would you keep it for very long?

There is a much quoted fact about lottery winners...in most cases in a few short years the winners end up in the exact same financial situation they were in before they won lottery.

Every time we “level up” in life, it comes with a whole new host of challenges, requirements, and responsibilities. Can you handle those? 


The truth is: you can have whatever you want. You have the means to decide to go after pretty much any goal you can think up. This world has so many opportunities for you..it’s figuratively dripping with them. You’re not any different or less capable than Beyonce or Bill Gates. They’re human too. They have just the same amount of hours in the day that you or I do.


The problem is it’s really easy to think about what we want and feel like a victim because we don’t have it and focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have. It’s the norm. It’s the everyday vibe permeating most of our society. It’s really easy to say, “I wish I was a millionaire with the happy marriage and rocking health.” But it’s a lot harder to actually do the things that would lead to having those things. So we just decide it’s not for us, and keep pining over someone else’s life. 



So my message to you today is this: next time you find yourself wishing you had something else, ask yourself, “Could I be trusted with it?” There is no secret sauce, no different kind of person. We’re all just people. Some people have just decided to focus on what they do have control over and slowly, over time using those things to leverage themselves into whole different realities. 


If you want deeper, more fulfilling relationships, are you committed to staying open and vulnerable, even when it’s super uncomfortable? Are you committed to being honest, but kind with the people around you so that you feel fully understood, but also respect your partner’s or friend’s or family’s feelings? Are you wiling to take time away from what you want to do, to spend time doing what other people want to do. Are you willing to be available to your partner or friend or family member? Having deep, full and mature relationships requires that we become more deep and mature ourselves and that typically requires discomfort, doing things our ego would rather not do, and showing up over and over again.


If you want to be healthier are you able to decide to go to bed at a reasonable hour, skip social engagements, and make more time for yourself? Are you committed to speaking love to yourself and giving yourself compassion when you fall into old habits (news flash: self-berating doesn’t work!)? Are you willing to take advice from others who have done what you want to do as far as health? Are you willing to change your lifestyle? To be healthy and vibrant we need to have a lifestyle that supports vibrancy.


If you want more money, are you willing to gain financial literacy, make sound investments, and actually look at your bank accounts, credit cards, and loans? Are you willing to take risks financially and invest in your future? An issue I see with most people when it comes to money making is that they are too scared to put in the initial financial risk to get the return. Money wants to be in flow, it doesn’t want to stagnate or pool. To make a lot of money, you’re going to have to take substantial risks and get WAY more comfortable and literate in finances. 

There is never any “destination” in life. There will ALWAYS be challenges and hardships and growth required, no matter what you have. That’s the beautiful nature of being a human. As you gain more of the things you want, you will be required to change and shift. 

So the question isn’t whether or not you’re “lucky” enough to have the things you want. It’s "Are you actually willing to make those changes and shifts that would make the kind of life you say you want possible?"

It’s actually COMPLETELY OK if you are not willing. Maybe there is something you’ve been saying you wanted forever and you realize that you’re actually not willing to do what it might take to get it. 

That’s good. Now you know. You can take that space in your brain back and fill it with something you are willing and excited about doing.

Deciding we are willing or deciding we are unwilling to do things both give us power. Knowing where we stand gives us the solid base for jumping off and changing our life. Maybe for years you’ve been wrestling with the idea that you should work out every day to be healthy. But when you really sit down and examine it, you realize, you actually aren’t willing to do that. You’ve got too many other things going on. You do realize that you are willing to workout three times a week, however, or just on the weekends. This is SO much more productive mental health-wise and physical health-wise to know that’s what you’re willing to do. Then you do it and you save yourself all the grief of worrying about not working out every day. 


We get to decide what we’re willing to do and what we’re not. It’s not about getting all the things, it’s about remembering we get the choice to decide what we’re willing or unwilling to do. And move on from there. 

I’m with you. 

You Need A Stay-Cation

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Who here feels like they need a vacation? 

We are a seriously crazy society of go go go. 

The amount of stress we are under on a normal every day basis is something our biology has never seen before. Even if you don’t believe you have a particularly stressful job or don’t feel particularly overwhelmed there are a lot of stressors we are subjected to on a regular basis.h

Blue light from screens has been shown to be very stressful on our nervous systems. Activating them and not allowing our hormonal system to calm down at night. Making it hard to sleep and really get into a rest and relaxation state, in which our bodies does so much repairing and recuperating.

Toxic chemicals from cleaners, cars, make-up, shampoo, lotion, etc are constantly being added to our blood stream. Loud noises like airplanes, cars, ambulances, music has been shown to put our nervous systems on high alert. This creates difficulties producing sex hormones and getting into the rest and digest nervous system state. Driving in traffic. Driving at all. High intensity exercise and lots of sitting, a combination that can be very shocking to the body. Hyper connectivity and always being “plugged in” via the internet.  Alcohol. Fast food. Lack of gentle, consistent movement to move our fluids and lymph throughout the body. The pressure to look good, have lots of energy, get shit done, crush it.. that never seems to subside. All these inputs in our society are definitely adding to our almost subconscious stress levels. 

I could go on and on. But the point is that we are under extreme amounts of stress, some perceived, but a lot unperceived. Our human bodies, which have shallow adaptations to survive in this situation, but have not deeply evolved to be able to thrive in it, are struggling. The amount of “adrenal fatigue” or more accurately called ‘HPA axis dysregulation’ is alarming. Not to mention hormone imbalances, sleeping issues, depression, anxiety, and much more.

Most of us think that everyone but us is somehow making this situation of a high stress environment work for them, but the truth is.. most people actually are not living lives of full vitality. Most adults in the US are in adrenal fatigue at some level. It is rare to find an adult in the US that doesn't have an addiction to their smartphones, social media, and news. Most adults in the US are definitely struggling with the status quo of high stress and have issues relaxing and disconnecting.

A vacation would be great. A real, true getaway. Going to some far off beach somewhere with zero internet or phone access and totally and completely unplug. But..the truth is, most of us couldn’t afford it, or we couldn't get the time off work, or if we didn’t stay at least two weeks we wouldn’t actually be able to relax. We’d be thinking about work and all that would need to get done once we got back. Or we have the kids and it’s not a real hands-off vacation but a mess of dolphin swimming, packed recreation excursions all topped off with heavy drinking and gambling at night. You definitely don't feel rested and relaxed after a "vacation" like that. 

We also need to disconnect from our day to day busy lives more often than once or twice a year. Relaxation is actually a practice, so we need to do it consistently or we forget how to do it. We NEED time away and unplugged if we have any hope of living a life that is fulfilled, vital, and intentional. We need to reconnect on a regular basis to ourselves and really relax and unhook. 

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That’s why I’m committed to taking a stay-cation at least once per month. The perks of a stay-cation are: 

  • cheaper
  • less travel time
  • less planning 
  • get to know your own backyard a little better 
  • a lot more I’m probably not thinking of right now.. 

My simple parameters for a stay-cation are:

  • Spend at least 2 days and one night somewhere no farther than 50 miles from home. You can also just stay home.
  • Turn your phone on airplane mode
  • Turn your wireless router off or don’t bring your computer or do not connect it to the internet. 
  • Make plans that are all revolved around being present with the people you are with. Or do it alone and don’t talk to anyone. 
  • Do something that loves on your body (hot yoga, restorative yoga, massage, whatever!) 
  • Any other parameters you want to set for yourself. 

This last weekend Sean (the hubs) and I stayed at The Sacajawea Hotel. “The Sac” as it’s known in these parts is in Three Forks, Montana, which is one of the most significant points on the Lewis and Clark Trail. Three Forks is the the headwaters of the Missouri River. And in Three Forks, Montana, Sacajawea was reunited with her brother and brokered safe passage for the explorers. The Sacajawea Hotel was constructed in 1910. 

Pretty cool, right? 

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It was the perfect blend of ease and luxury as it’s just 20 miles from our house, but feels like a whole different world. If you’re in the area (or going to be in the area) I highly recommend looking into staying at “The Sac.” 

That being said, a stay-cation doesn't have to be super swanky. It can be super basic. It can mean putting your phone on airplane mode, turn your wifi router off, and just reading for the weekend; totally disconnected. 

No matter where you're at, you've got the means to disconnect and I guarantee you'll be so happy you did. 

Read This & Feel Better Immediately

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What will you do with your one & only most wild & precious life?

We can get so bogged down in the details.

We can get so focused on what we don’t have & what we aren’t doing & what we can’t seem to make happen.

But this, right here, right now, is YOUR life & I bet if you look around you can find a lot of stuff you do have, things you are doing, & what you are making happen.

A simple shift of perspective from constricted to expansive.

Closed to open.

Small to big.

That’s all it takes.

A deep breath in.
A long, happy sigh out.

Come back to you.

Come back to the Truth.
You are good.


You are precious.


All moments have led you up to this one, to experiencing exactly what you are experiencing.


No one else has ever gotten to be right where you are, right now. And that is the most valuable fact.

There you are.

I’m with you.

A Self Care Ritual

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While I’m on my period I always find I need to take a little extra time for myself.

Our periods are such an amazing time to slow down, turn inward, and really harness our feminine power. In this day and age I think a lot women despise their periods. We get cramps, we’re moody and sensitive, and everything just seems harder. When I was on the pill I would purposefully skip my periods because they seemed like such a bother.

But now, I’ve realized how incredibly sacred cycling is. I’ve started to embrace this time of the month as the perfect time for reflection and deep self love. During our periods are when we are most spiritually astute and in tune. It’s when “the veil” between worlds is thinnest, so to speak. That’s why we get sensitive. We get “moody”, which is really just patronizing speak for being able to pick up on a lot of complex emotions and feelings. When we are in this ultra connected state we have to ‘do’ less and ‘be’ more.

Cramping, nausea, heat regulation issues, and the other physical symptoms of our periods, when extreme, can be a sign of hormonal imbalances as well as disconnection from our feminine side. In a way it’s “She” calling out for us to listen to Her.

A lot of hormonal imbalance comes from our bodies having a hard time detoxifying and processing synthetic hormones from birth control, artificial fragrances, and chemicals in our food that act similar to hormones. So if you have extremely painful cramping or other extreme symptoms, there are a lot of very successful natural ways to balance hormones. Reach out to me and we can get you set up on a natural path to healing. 

Even with well-balanced hormones and a good practice of listening to ourselves and self care, we can still get some light cramping, fatigue, headaches, etc. Our bodies are doing A LOT internally doing that time, so we need to give them a break. 

For me, the second day of my period always seems to be the day where my body really calls for some tenderness. So I’ve developed a self care ritual that makes me felt cared for, marks this special time of the month, and creates a sense of trust between myself and my body. It also supports detoxification of hormones and soothes any symptoms I might be having. 

 

Step 1: Do something physical to get the blood moving. I love to do yoga because it feels delicious. For a home practice I love Yoga by Candace on youtube or Jennifer Pansa’s Earth Elements classes on YogiApproved.com. Make sure this something gentle. During our periods exercising should be smooth, flowing, and gentle. No hardcore workouts please.  

Step 2: Dry brushing. This is an ancient practice of moving the lymph (the body’s garbage disposal system) towards the heart and lymph nodes where it is processed. To learn more about it or to see a “dry skin brush” go here

Step 3: Take a cold as cold can be shower for 3-5 minutes with the shower water hitting you on the heart. This is obviously very shocking, but you’ll be surprised how amazing you feel afterwards. It’s also a powerful detoxifying practice as it act as a kind of water pressure cleaning of your capillaries as your blood is pumped to your extremities. 

Step 4: Anoint yourself with oils. In Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine each person has a “dosha” or a constitution. For example, in Ayurvedic language I am a “pitta” dosha, or a fire constitution from Chinese medicine. Since I am fiery, I want to use oils that are “cooling.” Sesame oil is cooling, whereas coconut oil is warming. So people who fall into the air or earth doshas could use coconut oil, it’s better for me to use sesame oil on my body. Find your dosha here.

For this step, I take sesame oil plus 12 drops of CPTG (it is important to use CPTG essential oils) lavender essential oil and 12 drops frankincense essential oil. I then apply this oil all over my body while massaging myself and telling my body how much I cherish it and how lovely it is. The gist here is rub yourself down with some oil while telling your body nice things. 

Step 5: Soak in an epsom salt bath. My recipe is 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda, and 20 drops essential oils of choice. I love serenity blend or deep blue blend for relaxing and feeling peaceful. 

Step 6: Soak in the bath and read something you’re excited about or listen to some relaxing music or meditate.

Do this and you’ll feel like a totally new person. I promise. 

**If you’d like to get some CPTG essential oils at 25% off their retail price, please contact me at clara@revolutionarylifestyle.com